• CODE BLUE. REPEAT: CODE BLUE. The only character anyone in the entire Jon and Kate Gosselin saga anybody should care about - Aaden, The Bespectacled One - has been injured. Jon was seen taking him to a medical clinic by the paparazzi who've staked him out. Aaden had some kind of cut on his forehead, and while we're wont to speculate on the barfight which caused Aaden's head injury, we'll be sitting this one out on the sidelines during this sensitive period of healing. Anyway, whenever I cut myself, my Dad would always be like, WTF were you doing smashing a Jolt can on your head? And then he'd laugh and maybe hand me a band-aid and we'd get ice cream or something. So, anyway, Happy Father's Day. [Celebrity Gossip via E!]
  
  
• Aw. David Duchovny and Tea Leoni are sticking it out. Duchovny, if you remember, went to rehab for sex addiction - And really, how much sex do you need to be having or need to want to be having to go to rehab for sex addiction? It sounds like a silly question, but consider the logistics, here. - and Leoni and him "separated." Now, they're having this real life Californication-esque relationship of rebuilding. Dysfunctional Celebrities: they're just like us! Kinda? [People]
  
  
• Madonna's new kid, Mercy James, the one she stole from Africa, is back. It's a cute kid and all, but didn't she steal it from Africa? [P*r*z H*lt*n]
  
  
• Kanyeezey is back with his ex-girlfriend Amber Rose. Dude needs someone to hold him down. Seriously. You know when you tell your friends, maybe you need a girlfriend/boyfriend, or someone tells you, maybe you need a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc, and they mean it? I would sincerely tell Kanye West to stay in a committed relationship. I'm not sure why. [The Sun]
  
  
• So: two Keystone Cops tried to extort SJP and Matthew Broderick over pictures of their kid. A cop in Ohio went to the home of SJP's surrogate mother in Martins Ferry, waltzed in, stole some pictures, tried to steal some voicemails, walked right on out. They tried to sell the photos to a tabloid and got busted. The tabloid was allegedly the National Enquirer, but now we learn, isn't. The best part, though: the tabloid, TMZ now hears, are the ones to turn them in. But what if it's TMZ?! Don't you love how there's no such thing as a conflict of interest in tabloid journalism? [TMZ]
  
  
• Billy Joel and Katie Lee Joel are getting divorced because "William" - 60 years-old - wanted to start a family now, and Kathy wanted to focus on her career, according to a friend of Billy's. Kathy Lee's friends see it the other way around - what? - and this weird he-said she-said is Rush & Malloy's lead item the week after breaking the whole Roger Friedman's Suing Scientology story, and they don't even make an "Only The Good Die Young" joke. Weak. [R & M]
  
  
• Not really gossip, per se, but Daniel Radcliffe has openly suggested that the Harry Potter films be scored by Radiohead, which is *magical*. I definitely see Goblet of Fire as a very Bends-esqu experience while Prisoner of Azkaban might be slightly more In Rainbows. Am I right, or am I right? I could play this game for hours. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Nip Tuck is over, and the finale's probably going to suck, because Ryan Murphy and friends all went to Fox to go do Glee. Also, because they simply couldn't do anything else with the story. [LA Times]
  
  
• Hayden Christensen's family likes Rachel Bilson. What isn't there to like? But Hayden Christensen? If I brought him home, my family would be like YOU RUINED STAR WARS and also Foster why are you dating Hayden Christensen? If I brought Rachel Bilson home, they'd probably be like, meh, but that's just how they are. [Page Six]
  
  
• George Stephanopoulos was named Father of the Year by the National Father's Day Committee, which is funny, because he did a radio broadcast recently and his daughter was all like "I HATE YOU" Stephanopoulos addressed the recent Daddy Misconduct Charges against him by his daughter by noting that he and his wife had donated some of their kids' clothing, and that it was "all about some duckies." [Page Six]
  
  
• British club-owner Clive Kelly talked some smack on Sting for, I don't know, making him go broke or something? I guess this is the other R & M item. It involves Sting going to the rainforest and, you know, whatever, being Sting. [R & M]
  
  
• An E! blog put together a list of petitions written by fans of Robert Pattinson. Some of his fans are absolutely insane. Like, these people are strange and scary and he's not even a real vampire. But seriously - Robert Pattinson? [E!]
  
  
• Susan Boyle canceled another show last night over fears of exhaustion. That's three in a row, for anyone who's counting. Related, Simon Cowell's confession of Susan Boyle culpability in a paper yesterday. Is it time we just give up on this? Serious question. [Daily Express]

1. Whatever musical-number scenario Hugh Jackman winds up dumped into must feature the USC marching band. Jennifer Hudson was lovely and dignified, and M.I.A.'s pregnancy made for an unprecedentedly skull-bending blast of awards-show history. But neither yielded the Oscar-ready, post-ironic showstopper accompanying Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood on "15 Steps" — just the 30-piece, drum-and-brass thing to back up those aboriginal wind-spirits in the evening's Best Song medley. By contrast...

2. Disinvite the Jonas Brothers. You can't revoke Stevie Wonder's lifetime Grammy exception for one skunky Autotune intro and his abetting in the destruction of "Superstition." But you can punish the Jonas Brothers for their pitchy, rapey "Burnin' Up" overture: Confiscate their awards-season passports, and detain them until at least a full day after the Oscars just to prevent any further talent-pairing misfortunes. Actually, make it indefinite, lest their plot against Baz Luhrmann is actually legit.

• The Grammys [CBS]

“Radiohead made more money before In Rainbows was physically released than they made in total on the previous album Hail To the Thief,” Music Ally reports. In all, there have been three million purchases of In Rainbows (including CDs, vinyls, box sets and digital sales) since the band began selling the album officially on New Year’s Day 2008.

They also "admitted more people downloaded the album for free than paid for it." Which makes sense. But overall? Big success, economically and otherwise. Of course, now this idea is so old that people may have come to their senses—next time everyone downloads it for free. [via RS]

boomp3.com

Closer star Jude Law was unable to parlay his celebrity status into a closer spot at a London Radiohead concert over the weekend, much to his and his female's companion's dismay. The popular English actor had been able to get backstage at numerous concerts before, but Law ran into a bit of difficulty while explaining his situation to a group of roadies. The roadies were unfamiliar with his work and suggested that if he wanted to see the show from a better perspective, he should've gotten to the show earlier. Law turned back to his companion and said that his assistant must've forgotten to e-mail somebody and suggested that they watch the show like normal people. "Come on, it'll be a lark," Law was overheard saying.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Surprisingly, the Beatles are the most often deleted artist (after "unknown," for obvious reasons). Maybe there's an error, but maybe they're so often played but so little identified with modern cool. Couldn't imagine why, really, other than "Birthday" inexplicably popping up in everyone's Party Playlist. Second place goes to Radiohead, then more predictably Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne.

Spears also tops the single tracks list, with her song "Piece of Me" winning the spot of Most Regrettable Song. She shares the rest of the list with Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" and Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend," definitely guilty pleasures for the sort of hipster who would try to clean up their own listening history.

Hands said to look to Radiohead, a band which spurned EMI when it allowed fans to download a low-fidelity copy of a new record and pay whatever price they chose. (Photo by wwhyte1968)

In response to purely speculative figures announced in the press regarding the number of downloads and the price paid for the album, the group's representatives would like to remind people that ... it is impossible for outside organizations to have accurate figures on sales.

However, they can confirm that the figures quoted by the company ComScore Inc are wholly inaccurate and in no way reflect definitive market intelligence or, indeed, the true success of the project.

According to ComScore 1.2 million people worldwide downloaded Radiohead's pay-what-you-like album, "In Rainbows." As we reported Tuesday, only 38 percent of those downloading the album chose to pay anything at all. In the U.S., only 40 percent paid even a cent, or a pence, or whatever.

But in a new report, ComScore reveals that in the U.K., a full 48 percent of those downloading chose to pay for "In Rainbows."

Now if you people would just start tipping, maybe you'd have something to talk about.

Turns out the average price paid — other than zero — was actually around $8, $8.05 to be exact. But though 1.2 million people visited the "In Rainbows" site during the first 29 days of October, only 38 percent of those who downloaded the album volunteered to pay for it.

Here, you'll see that 62 percent of the world's downloaders freeloaded, too. Most of the rest only paid $4.

The only good news from an American's perspective? We're slightly less cheap than the rest of the world. So enough of all that whining about an American hegemony, OK?

According to one source close to the band, reports The Seminal, fans downloaded 1.2 million copies of "In Rainbows" through October 12, two days after its release. But you already knew Radiohead had a large fan base.

What nobody knew was whether fans would pay for a Radiohead album if they didn't have to. Certainly, the record labels had to be hoping they wouldn't. Too bad for the fat cats, because reports are that the average price paid for "In Rainbows" fell between $5 and $8. A low estimate of Radiohead's take in two days is $6 million. Sounds like bands with a following now have permission to skip labels.

In an attempt to counter Live Nation's concert/album/merchandise bid, Warner got Barry Diller's IAC/InterActiveCorp involved. IAC owns Ticketmaster, whose ticketing deal with Live Nation expired in August. Even so, the money was too much for Madonna to refuse. Under the new deal, Madonna will collect $120 million over 10 years plus 90 percent of tour revenue.

Madonna's albums will still be distributed through normal retail channels. Live Nation doesn't have a distribution arm, so it will contract, instead, with another label. Also unusual for the industry is a term under which ownership of the three albums to be recorded will revert to Madonna after a certain period of time.

Other big groups will be watching Madonna, Nine Inch Nails and Radiohead to see how their ventures work out. The fact that players like Live Nation are getting in the business tells us that middlemen will continue to play a role in connecting musicians with listeners. It just won't be the same middlemen as before.

(AP Photo/Matt Dunham)

Amazon.com touted the fact that it had secured Radiohead for its new MP3 store, after the band had long refused to sell on Apple's iTunes. But how valuable will this relationship be if fans can essentially obtain Radiohead's music for free, with the band's blessing?