To recap: Bill was working as a vaguely defined "adviser" for some investment funds owned by Yucaipa, Burkle's company. Then his wife goes and runs for president so Bill publicly "severed business ties" with Burkle, presumably to avoid being photographed with more attractive young women on Burkle's plane.

But! Bill's consolation prize was that Yucaipa would pay him $20 million when he left. For what? Nobody's really sure! But there were lots of things that could blow up in Bill's (and by extension, Hillary's) face, politically:

Mr. Clinton was one of the three owners of the foreign fund's general partner, along with Mr. Burkle and Dubai Investment Group (YGP) Ltd., an entity that was part of the business empire of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the ruler of Dubai.

The Yucaipa connection presented other potential difficulties for Mrs. Clinton, people familiar with the matter said. In late 2007, the foreign fund invested in a Chinese media company, Xinhua Finance Media Ltd., whose parent company had past ties to the Beijing government.

Oh you know who else was connected to Clinton via Burkle? Convicted scam artist Raffaello Follieri! So, my working theory here is that taking the money would have caused too much of a headache for Hillary in the press, and also, since Bill's payout was theoretically tied to how much he earned, maybe there wasn't all that much money there to be had anyhow. But if you know better, feel free to share. [WSJ]

Kate explained that Anne is her costar in Bride Wars, and Letterman quipped, "She's nice, isn't she? I think her old boyfriend is in prison." Kate tried to change the subject and tactfully maneuver around Letterman's jabs, but admitted that she watched when he grilled Anne about Follieri. "I was like, 'Oh, you're giving it to her," Kate told Letterman. And just when things seemed to die down, Letterman mentioned how Follieri dressed up as the Pope. Clip above.

Earlier: Letterman Grills Anne Hathaway About Her Jailbird Ex

Or so says a source who tattled to Page Six: "Adam is known as an opportunist. When he was at Brown [University], he went after all the heiresses. It's like Anne is addicted to losers." Hold it — can you be more specific? Because we've heard Hathaway isn't what you'd call a cheap date, and nobody actually dates for love in this town anyway, do they? Then again, he got this far without having to vaccinate any poor kids or build someone a house, so maybe he is all about the shortcuts.

• ANNE'S NEW GUY [NYP]

• Anne Hathaway's new actor boyfriend "went after all the young heiresses" when he was at Brown University, which makes him as terrible for her as jailed fraudster Raffaello Follieri, according to Page Six's tipster. [P6]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes spent their second wedding anniversary apart, on opposite coasts. Make of that what you will. [Mail]
• The longtime editor-in-chief of Gourmet, Ruth Reichl couldn't get into her own party because she wasn't on the press list. I would not want to be that event planner. [P6]
• Sumner Redstone, purportedly to his ex-girlfriend on his ex-wife, in a restaurant: "I'm finally rid of her." [P6]
• Angelina Jolie forced husband Brad Pritt to make an angry call to his ex Jennifer Aniston, in which Pitt "went off" in a "quivering" voice. This according to the tabloid that reported that Aniston was pregnant with twins by John Mayer. [Star]
• After returning from a summer of TV filming in Spain, Gwyneth Paltrow didn't visit her husband but instead spent some private time with a Miami billionaire, including a jaunt on his yacht with Kate Hudson. [P6]

He says that he cannot eat because the food appears to be spoiled and that the toilet and shower facilities are unspeakably unsanitary. E.g., there is excrement in the shower and rats are roaming freely in the area. He says the stench is intolerable... He reports blood in his urine and says that he is suffering from a series of intestinal problems which have left him debilitated.

The convicted con artist will receive little sympathy over his treatment. But Hathaway risks looking cold-hearted if she just leaves him to rot. At a minimum, the actress should probably have her people make some inquiries and express concern about her ex-boyfriend's conditions. And of course Hathaway can't take things too far because then it will look like she's consorting with a crook again. Tricky!

It's worth a try, though. This is probably the only chance in some time to trick the celebrity media into actually improving the lives of the poor and downtrodden.

Since he was sentenced to 4-1/2 years in prison for fraud last month, he has had to contend with rotten food, foul odors and unclean toilets and as result is running a fever and has blood in his urine, according to a letter from his lawyer made available on Wednesday.

"He says that he cannot eat because the food appears to be spoiled and that the toilet and shower facilities are unspeakably unsanitary," the letter from Flora Edwards said.

"There is excrement in the shower and rats are roaming freely in the area. He says the stench is intolerable," the letter continued.

"Eet ees so dirty," Follieri went on to complain. "Almost as dirty as when I deed the naughty theengs with Annie!" Then, bowing his head, he whispered, "Now eet ees me who they do that to."

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Anne Hathaway's ex sick in filthy jail: lawyer [Reuters]

Life & Style recently spotted the happy new couple in New Orleans, where Adam accompanied Anne, 26, to an Oct. 29 screening of her movie at the Canal Place Cinema, then to dessert with pals at local hot spot Patois. At the screening, Adam, unassuming in jeans and Converse sneakers, told Life & Style how he and Anne first met: “We met through mutual friends. I came to support Anne. We’ve never been to New Orleans before — it’s our first time.”

At Patois, where the couple sipped white wine and Anne picked off Adam’s plate, the star said things with Adam weren’t perfect at first. “He was actually seeing someone else,” she told the table while resting her hand on Adam’s leg, says a witness. “I thought I was going to have to step back.”

Anne, Anne, Anne. How could you swoop in and do something like that to an innocent party? How dare you pick food off your boyfriend's plate!

• Exclusive: Here's Anne's brand new man! [Life & Style]

Speaking in Italian on Thursday with a translator at his side, Mr. Follieri stood in front of Judge Koeltl and reflected on his misdeeds.

“I didn’t start off with the intention of deceiving anyone,” he said. “I started off with good intentions to run an honorable business and make everyone proud of me.” He added: “I have dishonored my family name and the church I love. I will never be able to wash away that stain and I will have to live with it for the rest of my life.”

Mr. Follieri will most likely be deported to Italy after he finishes his prison sentence.

The Pope is just as easy to get a photo-op with as John McCain, apparently. [NYT; pic via NYP]

Anne Hathaway’s jailed ex-boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri, was recently granted phone privileges — collect calls only — and according to an insider, Anne’s was one of the numbers he dialed. “She wasn’t home to accept the charges, but there was a message left on her voice mail from the automated operator,” her pal reveals. “She’s got mixed emotions about missing the call. She doesn’t want to speak to him, but this is someone she has a history with.”

Since we know he wasn't calling her for anal-sex tips for the clink, we can only imagine the goodbye Follieri had in mind: Maybe a quick apology for that whole thing with her dog; a quick "good luck" for their friend John McCain; kudos for Rachel Getting Married ("But you make-a love in the base-a-ment with that-a douchebag. You break-a my heart!"); and the hope that she would do him one last solid and tell his cellmate that yes, he was in fact the deadbeat Hathaway was telling David Letterman all about. And, of course, a bittersweet ciao, which we share — see you in 2013, Raff.

• Italian who dated Anne Hathaway gets 4 yrs prison [AP]

• Anne Hathaway’s ex reaches out [ITW]

• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes can't stop buying their East Village neighbors' apartments. There are two flats for staff alone. One's a gym. Everything's on a different floor. Insane. Sounds like them! [P6]
• In an attempt to make soon-to-be-ex husband Guy Ritchie cry, Madonna put her eight-year-old son Rocco in a Yankees jersey, just like rumored flame Alex Rodriguez. It worked! [Us]
• On the set of Saturday Night Live, it emerged Sarah Palin did not know who Oliver Stone was. You know, given the Republican vice presidential nominee's past dabbling in Alaskan separatism, JFK might just change her life. [R&M]
• On the set of Ugly Betty, Lindsay Lohan would "obsessively cut pictures of herself out of the tabloids like she was creating some sort of scrapbook." That's just terribly sad. In large part because we are all Lindsay Lohan, obsessively clipping our own selves out of our own tabloids. What's your tabloid? [P6]
• If I understand the Post correctly, volatile supermodel Naomi Campbell's unborn baby had retained lawyers to implicitly threaten anyone who claims it exists. Probably because it is not yet old enough to hurl a cell phone? [P6]
• The Palm Steakhouse downtown will feature a rendering of Leonardo da Vinci's "Last Supper," but with Bill O'Reilly as Jesus and various other Fox News personalities as disciples. That should certainly impact appetites. [P6]
• Jennifer Aniston gave John Mayer an ultimatum: it's her or the blogging. Go with the sugar mama, John. It's not even a tough choice. [OK!]
• Raffaello Follieri tried to collect-call Anne Hathaway, but got the machine. [Daily Star]
• Paris Hilton supposedly bought a building in London because someone convinced her "pirates and thieves were shackled to the wall." [Hollyscoop]

Our first instinct was to disbelieve the story; after all, virtually every profile we've ever read of Hathaway mentions how carefully and professionally she answers questions, concerned that her quotes will be taken out of context. Had Hathaway been emboldened after her split with boyfriend Raffaello Follieri, or was someone putting naughty words in her mouth?

Turns out, it's the latter. We contacted Esquire for comment, and spokesperson Rhett Usry was shocked by the rumor. "Absolutely not true," he told us. "There is no interview with Anne Hathaway at all in the upcoming issue of Esquire."

So where did the story originate? All signs point to this September 12 posting on Celeb.Dump, a photo-laden blog promising "Sexy Celebrity Pictures With Little To No Bullshit" (and headlines like "Stacy Keibler is so very hot" and "Jessica Simpson touching herself"). "Thanks to Miss M. from Esquire for letting me know" about the rumor, said the poster (who declined our repeated requests to comment on his tip).

As for how this obscure bit of gossip hit the big time, we're betting it's due to a potent mix of wishful thinking, Hathaway's Rachel Getting Married press tour, and lingering conflation of the actress with Brokeback Mountain. Either that, or Follieri's got an axe to grind. Memo to Celeb.Dump: if your "source" claims to be Esquire's liaison to the Vatican, it may be time to place some calls.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Anne Hathaway Loves Anal Sex [Celeb.Dump]

The photograph substantiates reports that in late August, 2006, McCain celebrated his 70th birthday aboard a yacht, the Celine Ashley, rented by A-list con man Raffaello Follieri and his then-movie star girlfriend Anne Hathaway. In the current edition of Vanity Fair, Michael Schnayerson reported that Follieri rented the Celine Ashley for the month of August 2006. Montenegro's leading daily newspaper, Vijesti, earlier reported that during McCain's visit in 2006 he celebrated with birthday cocktails and sweets aboard the Celine Ashley yacht. In the photograph, taken in Montenegro at the end of August, McCain is shown boarding the yacht ramp towards the smiling Follieri and Hathaway.

Just ahead of McCain and shaking hands with Follieri appears to be Rick Davis—McCain's top aide and now co-manager of his campaign, who accompanied him on the trip and advised the government of Montenegro. A few months after McCain's yacht party, Follieri strengthened his ties to McCain's orbit by retaining Rick Davis's well-connected Washington lobbying firm, Davis Manafort, and offering Davis both an investment deal and help in securing the Catholic vote for McCain's presidential bid.

"But," McCain was rumored to growl under his breath as he slyly gestured to Hathaway, "what about the girl?" Indeed, what about the girl, a lifelong Catholic and admittedly concerned citizen whose deep distrust of politicians only recently gave way to a Barack Obama endorsement? So much for that pardon, we suppose.

• The McCain-Follieri Love Boat [The Nation via WYBM]

In the photograph, taken in Montenegro at the end of August, McCain is shown boarding the yacht ramp towards the smiling Follieri and Hathaway. Just ahead of McCain and shaking hands with Follieri appears to be Rick Davis—McCain's top aide and now co-manager of his campaign, who accompanied him on the trip and advised the government of Montenegro. A few months after McCain's yacht party, Follieri strengthened his ties to McCain's orbit by retaining Rick Davis's well-connected Washington lobbying firm, Davis Manafort, and offering Davis both an investment deal and help in securing the Catholic vote for McCain's presidential bid.

[The Nation]

Dressed in navy blue corrections department clothing, Mr. Follieri appeared unshaven and in need of a haircut. His sentencing was initially scheduled for Dec. 12, but his lawyer, Flora Edwards, asked the judge for an earlier date, saying that Mr. Follieri was having “a very difficult time” in the Metropolitan Detention Center...

“The game he played was not unique. It’s been done before,” Ms. Grubman said. “Planes, trains and automobiles are very sexy to anyone who is young.”

Follieri will be sentenced in October, and he's getting several years, at least. Let this be a lesson: don't fuck with the Pope.

[NYT]

Raffaello Follieri agreed not to appeal any sentence of up to five years and three months in prison for his plea to wire fraud, money laundering and conspiracy. Sentencing was set for Oct. 3.

As part of his plea, he admitted misappropriating at least $2.4 million of investors' money, sending it to foreign personal bank accounts that were disguised as business accounts.

"I knew what I was doing was wrong," he told U.S. District Judge John G. Koeltl. He has been in jail since his June 24 arrest, unable to post $21 million bail. [...]

According to the FBI, Follieri claimed the Vatican had formally appointed him to manage its financial affairs and that he had even met the pope in Rome. His actual connections to the Vatican were slim, including his hiring of a relative of a former Vatican official.

Prosecutors allege that Follieri was so intent on carrying out the Vatican ruse that he kept ceremonial robes, including the robes of senior clergymen, in his Manhattan office.

That last detail was shocking even to us: So intent was Follieri on scamming God out of his life savings so that he might continue to maintain his extravagant lifestyle, he went so far as to swipe Prada papalware right out of the Vatican closets! Oh, Anne, whatever were you thinking.

• Raffaello Follieri Pleads Guilty [HuffPo/AP]