As Pablo Neruda once wrote: "I crave your air, your nozzle, your squeaky plastic/Silent and starving, I prowl through the pools/Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day/I hunt for rafts to fuck."

This may be the Year of the Deer, but it's also the summer of weird men having sex with inanimate objects. First, news broke that a bike fucker is on the loose in Sweden and now an Ohio man has been arrested for having sex with a rubber pool raft.

A man in Hamilton, Ohio, was arrested on Sunday when he got caught humping a pink plastic pool raft in an alleyway behind a Dumpster. Oh, and this wasn't Edwin Tobergta's first arrest for the same offense either. He apparently has a plastic fetish!

The 32-year-old man who got drunk, wrapped chain around his neck, got into a life raft with a big black box of sand, and floated down the James River is not a terrorist. That much we know.