It seems like we're zeroing in on a surefire way to get notoriously angry politicians to do their anger routines on camera, for the fans: ask them about sending their kids to private school!

It appears that Chicago Mayor-elect Rahm Emanuel has found his top political adviser, a red man-sized furry bull whose "fixer" talents have largely been wasted in his previous role as a mascot for the Chicago Bulls basketball team. It really wouldn't be surprising to see Rahm Emanuel leave his wife for this natural…

The man behind the brilliant @MayorEmanuel Twitter account, which "followed" Chicago Mayor-elect Rahm Emanuel on the campaign trail by making up jokes about him and ultimately "vanished into a time vortex in order to save the multiverse," has been outed.

Chicago's grueling race for mayor is over; results have been called, and the winner is... Richard Daley's secret brother Cosmo! Kidding. Kidding! The winner, as has been predicted forever, is foul-mouthed former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.

Chicago's likely new mayor, former White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, is well aware of his Twitter impersonator, MayorEmanuel, and wants to know the motherfucker's real identity. And he'll pay to find out.

After an appellate court kicked ex-White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel off the Chicago mayoral ballot for flunking residency requirements, the Illinois Supreme Court tentatively ruled he was actually OK to run. Now it's official: Print up those ballots!

Good news for would-be Chicago mayoral candidate Rahm Emanuel: Illinois' Supreme Court hasn't decided on reinstating his candidacy, but it has "ordered Chicago election officials not to print any ballots without his name." He can keep them as souvenirs, maybe?

An appellate court has kicked ex-White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel off the ballot for Chicago mayor over residency requirements. Wow. He'd been leading in polls and fundraising, and his case will likely hit the Illinois Supreme Court now.

Poor President Obama! All of his besties are leaving the White House. Advisor David Axelrod and Press Secretary Robert Gibbs are likely leaving soon, Gibbs as early as Friday, at which point Obama may announce a new Chief of Staff.

Election officials have determined that ex-White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel did maintain his Chicago residency during his two years in Washington, after seeing his crawlspace. Now Emanuel is free to win that Chicago mayor's race that he's winning.

Ex-White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel is still trying to prove that he maintained Chicago residency during his two yers in Washington, so he can become Chicago's next mayor. And that's why he's giving tours of his basement crawlspace.

Vulgar ex-White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel has a massive lead in early Chicago mayoral polling. And now singer-actress Jennifer Hudson is going help him raise money! He's in great shape, assuming he doesn't get kicked off the ballot.

Rob Halpin, the businessman who rented ex-White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel's Chicago home and wouldn't leave when Emanuel returned from Washington, is now considering running against Emanuel for Chicago mayor. Is "Rob Halpin" just an elaborate trolling scheme?

New York Times columnist David Brooks is a softy for many things, but especially ex-White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel. Brooks doesn't get why people think Emanuel's so mean! He was always so nice on the telephone, after all.

Today on Morning Joe, our always modest host vocalized that he felt Emanuel could not win in Chicago if he kept his yoga-toned body. "Eat the damn doughnut!" said Joe. Jealousy does not become you, Mr. Scarborough.

Rahm Emanuel, who was the second most powerful person in Washington just a few days ago, is now merely harassing commuters on Chicago subway platforms to kick off his mayoral campaign. Watch as the commuters react with indifference, mostly!

CNBC guy Larry Kudlow simply did not care for the bear-hug Barack Obama and Rahm Emanuel exchanged on Friday. It showed weakness, Kudlow writes, in a stupid column. "Our friends and enemies were all watching." Are the terrorists unstoppable now?