Gawker: rankings

The Forbes Powerful Women Randomly Ranked List

John Cook — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 10:35:13 EDT

In its maniacal zeal to crank out endless lists of arbitrarily arranged names, Forbes has ranked the world's women by power. Did you know that Guler Sabanci, the chairman of Turkey's Sabanci Holdings, is more powerful than Oprah? It's true

Lists like these, which Forbes' crack researchers based on "visibility—by press mentions—and the size of the organization or country these women lead," are a priori useless linkbait. But this particular iteration, which separates the two female Supreme Court justices by six slots (why? Ruth Bader Ginsburg's longer tenure doesn't grant her more votes than Sonia Sotomayor), is particularly hilarious.

Here's how Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, and the Queen of England stack up against Susan Chambers, the executive vice president in charge of Wal-Mart's "global people division":

Also, Bill Gates' wife Melinda is more powerful than both Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

If you're going to just make up a list like this based on nothing, shouldn't it at least make intuitive sense? Here's the thinking that went into it:

Forbes' Power Women list isn't about celebrity or popularity; it's about influence. Queen Rania of Jordan (No. 75), for instance, is perhaps the most listened-to woman in the Middle East; her Twitter feed has 600,000 followers.

Kim Kardashian has 1.9 million Twitter followers. WHY WAS SHE DENIED? Does Angela Merkel even use Twitter!?!?

College Rankings Totally Made Up

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 15:05:23 EDT

Listicle publication Forbes says that the US Military Academy, of all places, is "America's Best College." Is that even allowed? Competitor listicle publication the Princeton Review has struck back with its own outrageously outside-the-box college ranking listicle items!

This "Princeton Review" would like you to "register" to read their listicles and probably dump who knows how much illegal porn onto your computer, but luckily IvyGate copied and pasted all their content. Look at this blatant traffic-whore scandalmongering linkbait:

Least Happy Students
1. Merchant Marine

Knowing the uproar that would cause amongst Merchant Marine boosters worldwide! And on top of that my alma mater has some of the worst food in all higher education?! What about the bagels?!

Journalism!

Tupac Was Overrated. Sorry.

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 13:41:51 EDT

Controversy: A magazine has published a list of "Overrated" things! Is their analysis correct? They certainly hope you will argue about it a lot! Blender's list of the most overrated things in music ends with a typically "provocative" #1: Deceased rapper Tupac. Former Gawker columnist Tionna Smalls has already started an online protest campaign! Problem, though: Tupac is the most overrated thing to hit music since the synthesizer craze. It's the mythology that did you in, Pac:

He was a mediocre rapper. His reputation far exceeds his actual skills. He was way worse than Biggie Smalls. He was even worse than MC Eiht, you West Coast partisans.
He was a fantastic hypocrite. Dear Mama, respect women, blah blah blah. Then, on the other hand, fuck the world! Some people have enough artistic skill to pull this off as the mere wrestling of the angels and demons that live within us all. Tupac didn't, so he just sounded like he was lying.
He was a thug by choice. Thug Life, yea, rah rah. Tupac went to art school. He was a born actor. He started out as a happy-go-lucky backup dancer for Digital "Humpty Dance" Underground. He certainly ended up as a thug, but it's not like it was his destiny.
The whole Tupac fetish thing. This is really the problem with Tupac. He got murdered as a young man with a lot of selling power left in him. That caused people with an interest in his career to pimp out his legacy to an insane extent in search of sales. Tupac, like many of us, was a fucked up guy. But he was no great artist, and he was no great role model.
You know what his legacy has been, ultimately? White kids shouting "Thug Life!" out of their SUV windows. Which is what has led to the slow decline of hip hop music in general. Which was the most important new form of music America has seen in the last 30 years. Tupac was okay. The mythology of Tupac is ridiculous. And the aftermath of Tupac has done more to hurt the music he loved than MC Hammer ever did. Many other people in music have sucked more than Tupac; but nobody else in recent memory has had such a detrimental legacy.

Bring back Rammellzee!

[Blender]

Brands Control Us All

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:13:55 EDT

The new "BrandZ" ranking of the world's most powerful brands is out, and it just helps to confirm that it's only a matter of time before China is running everything. China Mobile is the fifth most powerful brand in the world, ahead of names like IBM, Apple, and McDonald's. China's most powerful brands collectively gained more than 50% in value over the past year. And China and other emerging economies are the most powerful drivers of growth for all brands. Russia is also a fast riser. The takeaway: at least we are still killing all these foreigners through our strong American Marlboro brand (#10). Below, the top 25 brands in the world, and their added value to the company, so you can sound smart at your next branding party. Yes, Google is #1:

*Also notable: the Blackberry brand increased in value by almost 400% over the past year. Scary.

[via Millward Brown/ Ad Age]

Does Boston Actually Suck More Than D.C.?

Doree Shafrir — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 12:00:34 EDT

Last evening, we received the following email:

Do you hate Boston, or do we just really suck? I recently got into an argument about which city sucked more, DC or Boston, with a friend and she countered by saying there is no way DC can suck more than Boston because they have a later last call, a better mass transits system and a Gawker media blog dedicated to their gossip, while in Boston nobody gives a fuck about us, the T kinda sucks and smells like human feces and our last call is retrograde at best. I don't feel like I need to explain why I think DC sucks, but does Boston actually suck more?

What an interesting question. We'd like to put this one to a poll!

Generally we try to avoid thinking about Boston or D.C. at all, because to do so is boring, but occasionally our hands are forced. So we considered Boston. First, those accents, oh my God. They're like nails on a blackboard. (Did I mention I'm from Boston? Yeah.) Then there are the mass transit issues (the T shuts down by 1 a.m.), the drinking issues (last call is at 2), the white-hat issues (blech), the weird WASP-Irish-Italian nexus, the segregation, the ridiculous real estate prices (and for WHAT?), the Celtics suck, the Red Sox obsession is pathological... oh, we could go on, but we should cede the floor to D.C.

D.C. sucks, according to one of our number who's from that city, because "people are HIDEOUSLY UGLY. It's the land of people just dressing for their boring ass office all the time and actually having no idea how to dress when they're not in their sweatpants on the couch. Like, girls wear flared black pants and Nine West chunky heels, guys wear Dockers." All true, per our own observations! Also, the bars really suck, and there are faux-exclusive clubs like Last Night's Shots, which are filled with former frat brothers and sorority sisters from Southern schools. Oh, and everyone works for the Federal government, which right now means the city is crawling with smarmy Republicans. Including George Bush.

Wow, this is hard. So! We put it to you.

The Most Annoying Liberal Arts School In The U.S.

Doree Shafrir — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:15:27 EDT

Hello there, liberal arts college grad! Until we started doing this monumental search for annoying colleges, we had no idea so many of you lurked among us, spreading your pansexual, drug-experimenting, free-thinking ways so insidiously! When this all began, we were just looking for a college we could generically insert into posts that made fun of Williamsburg residents, since Oberlin was getting tired. In our search, early favorites Bard, Vassar, and surprise write-in Swarthmore (general impression: everyone's really smart, but still really annoying) all soon fell to the towering giants of Liberal Arts College Annoyingness: Wesleyan and Sarah Lawrence. And that's where our death match came in, and why we've finally decided to bestow an honorary degree on one, very special, Liberal Arts College. It's one that is near and dear to all of your hearts, we're sure. And that college is...

Not Sarah Lawrence! We've consulted the poll, and yes, Sarah Lawrence technically beat out Wesleyan by (at this writing) 1873 to 1733 votes (or 51.9 to 48.1 percent). And it's true, Sarah Lawrence is really, really annoying—this comment seemed to sum up some of the reasons why:

We have a love your body run every september in which people who choose to (never the ones you hope) run naked around the quad while spectators have cocktail hour on the lawn. Did we forget to mention "sleaze week" where you can take workshops or pornography, dental damn usage and the female ejaculation? oh yes. The finale of which is the friday night sleaze ball which, my sophomore year, turned into a weird dominatrix s&m show that was so alarming it caused me to go to my room and shudder until dawn. Oh an the next day we had Mayfair—a little kids carnival for children from the neighborhood. Sinister

Oh, wow, that's pretty annoying. But! Whatever! We're invoking executive privilege, and awarding the crown to Wesleyan, which we have to admit was probably our personal favorite all along, except maybe Bard, which we continue to find really freaking annoying. Not that personal preferences had to do with any of this. Really. No, it was the email that we learned was circulating, like a case of herpes at an SLC orgy, among Sarah Lawrence alumni:

I'm a student at Sarah Lawrence College. Uh huh, that one. The person you assume is posting this. I think Scary Larry should win for one simple reason. I have received emails from groups of students and alumni, spanning four decades of attendance, in the last 24 hours who are proud to be in the running for America's Most Annoying Liberal Arts College. That's right, they are psyched about the possibility of winning. Yes, Sadie Lou has a long tradition of rebelling for rebellion's sake. This is no exception. Sure there are other countless reasons why SLC should win, most of which I am too ADHD to remember, but this is the reason I like the best. We'll wear this title with pride. This is why us liberal artsy brats so richly deserve to win the contest you've entered us into. Thank you.

Oh NO THEY DIDN'T. We're calling this one for Wesleyan, on account of electioneering, voter fraud, ballot box stuffing, probable cache-erasing, and any other dirty election tricks we can think of. Really, Sarah Lawrence? Let's just hope Barbara Walters (SLC '53) doesn't find out about this.

So, congrats, Wesleyan. Your graduates will forever be known not for their naked parties, or their stints in a alterna-frat, or for chalk, but rather for beating out Sarah Lawrence on an annoying technicality to be named America's Most Annoying Liberal Arts College. We'd like to be the first to offer you the complete library of Hélène Cixous, this funny hat, these vintage thick-rimmed glasses, and this lease on a McKibbin Street loft as your prize. But we can't. You'll have to live that horrible life on your parents' money all on your own.

Cheers,
Gawker

The Top Two Annoying Liberal Arts Colleges Duke It Out

Doree Shafrir — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 18:05:07 EDT

We've consulted our poll standings—thank you for voting!—and as of this writing, the top two vote-getters for the highly coveted title of America's Most Annoying Liberal Arts College are... Sarah Lawrence and Wesleyan! And it's very close; last time we checked, Sarah Lawrence had 599 votes, or 15.5 percent of the total, while Wesleyan had 536 votes, or 13.9 percent of the total. So we decided to have a SLC vs. Wes DEATH MATCH. Sadly, neither Oberlin nor Bard, two of our personal favorites, will be in the running; neither will surprise high-vote-getter Swarthmore, which overcame its write-in-candidate status to finish in a strong third place. (Congrats, Swarthmore: You're really annoying!) To help you determine once and for all which is the most annoying liberal arts college in America, we've marshalled some more of our favorite comments about each school. This will be the final poll! Cast your vote carefully!

Sarah Lawrence
"I hadn't even been at Sarah Lawrence for a month before I was called into the dean's office to discuss my cameo appearance in some freak's vision. Yes, vision. The girl claimed to have envisioned her own murder after eating a leaf that had been previously "nibbled on" by a fairy. Not only did she take this story to the dean, but the dean was concerned enough to pull me out of class to discuss this. SLC sweep, people."

"go gryphons! this might be the only competition they'll ever win."

"Definitely SLC. Never before have I met a group of people who were farther up their own asses. I think everyone who graduates from Sarah Lawrence should be awarded an honorary doctorate of pharmacology."

"Wealthy families typically have a child who is sent to an elite private school, receives a good education, and by dint of his/her natural intelligence, work ethic instilled by his parents, good grades, benefits that come with wealth, and the university preferences for legacies, goes to Harvard or Yale. That child also has a younger sibling who, with the same education and benefits, spends most of his/her time drinking, doesn't really like learning, and is known for having access to good drugs. That child goes to Sarah Lawrence, and that's why it's my pick."

Wesleyan
"When I filled out my housing forms to enter Wesleyan I had the option of writing in my personal gender expression and whether or not I minded rooming with a person who expressed themselves differently than me... this was also literally the only question I was asked as far as any roommate survey went."

"Remember when you vote: Wesleyan's hottest campus topic is whether or not to allow students to write on the sidewalks with chalk."

"I have an ex who went to Wesleyan and said that virtually all to whom he relayed this asked, "You mean the women's school?" To which he responded, "Wellesley was my first choice." I found this anecdote charming. But I'm not sure in which direction it swings the Wesleyan pendulum."

"The Swarthmore and Vassar descriptions sound JUST LIKE Wesleyan, except instead of heirs to fortunes it's children of utterly random celebrities (Richard Dreyfuss!) or former child stars (Little Man Tate!)"

"Please vote for Wesleyan. Here is why: I recently ran into a Wesleyan undergrad I went to high school with. When I inquired as to his summer plans, he said he had gotten a research grant to study homelessness in New York. This "study" included a two-week stint as - i'm not shitting you - an actual homeless person. The rich hipstard actually lived on the street for two weeks and "hung out" with homeless people, and WESLEYAN PAID HIM TO DO IT."

All right then! To the poll!

Earlier: Vote For America's Most Annoying Liberal Arts College

[Sarah Lawrence image via]
[Wesleyan image via]

Vote For America's Most Annoying Liberal Arts College

Doree Shafrir — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 13:20:17 EDT

It's time to cast your vote! Yesterday we proposed an initial list of America's most annoying liberal arts colleges. After perusing all your comments and emails, we've come up with a much-refined initial group of contenders for you to vote on. We've also selected the best description of each college from the voluminous correspondence we received on this endlessly fascinating subject. No more write-ins please—sorry, Skidmore!—this is our list and we're sticking to it. To get you started, we turn to the immortal words of commenter LOLCait, who helpfully defined liberal arts colleges for us: "In the form it's being used here, it's a four-year liberal leaning, usually in a small town, college with no grad programs, that rich kids go to feel free and take peyote and wander around campus barefoot and shrieking into the night "I'm a real person!" and then graduate and abandon it all for a good job, only to relive it on screened in porches years later when they find an old joint pressed into a copy of the Stranger, so they toke it even though it's stale and they remember a little bit but then go to bed and wake up just the same as they were the day before." All right then! To the colleges!

First the rationale, and then the voting:
Bard: "A chick I went to HS with went there and within days was smoking opium, having cuddle parties, partaking in "body painting" parties, and majoring in some sort of art. Yeah, definitely the ho's on the Hudson."

Bennington: "Apparently, you can claim to have a degree in anything you took a class in. Or didn't take a class in."

Brown: "it's the same liberal arts bullshit plus all the extra Ivy douchebaggery. Like the students weren't even committed enough to the liberal arts cause to risk that strangers on the street wouldn't immediately recognize their superiority."

Eugene Lang: "Let's take a distinguished and progressive graduate faculty for continentally-influenced social research, and then haplessly attach a poorly run airy-fairy liberal arts college where the undergrad cool-hair kids can major in hipster fuckery and get a head-start on their farther flung liberal arts pals in New England and the Midwest by already living in Williamsburg!!!"

Evergreen: "It's Reed for dumb-fucks. All that no-grades stuff, self-entitled student body, hordes of occasionally-gay band-shirt-wearing twats, absurd classes, the most hipper-than-thou hipsters you've met this side of Williamsburg, etc. BUT THEY'RE ALL IDIOTS ON TOP OF IT. You only go to Evergreen if you got rejected from Reed and Brown. It's truly a marvel."

Goddard: "It's pretty much the predecessor to most of the institutions that you're all mentioning. They never had declared majors, tests, numbered or letter grades. To top it all off, their most famous graduates are the band members of Phish. Top that." [Ed. note: We would also like to note their slogan: "Come to Goddard as you are. Leave the way you want to be."]

Hampshire (via email): "i went there for two and a half years. i had to leave because, after wasting $80,000 of my parents money, i managed to only finish 3 courses although i was never put on academic probation, had my room explode and dorm burn down due to faulty wiring, and managed to make my way up to selling 20 pounds of weed and 50 pills of ecstasy a week. although this was a paltry amount compared to more experienced trust fund drug dealers on campus, i felt i should quit while ahead."

Oberlin: Their grads deliberately make THE most annoying contributions to American culture - Eric Bogosian, Bill Irwin, Julie Taymor, Kim France, Liz Phair, Ed Helms, Josh MacPhee, David Rees, Josh Ritter, and yea, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It's a type."

Reed: "Sure, there's a crunchy vibe going on (it is Oregon after all), and there were a lot of recreational drugs, but generally the people I knew were too busy dropping out or contemplating suicide because of all the rain. Reed does love to talk about how everyone goes on to grad school, but as you've probably figured out, there's no money in that."

Sarah Lawrence: "Some other defining characteristics: everyone's vegan, yet still smokes and wears leather; parties have permanently been replaced by trips to Brooklyn and lots of coke; anonymous shit-talking on livejournal is a sport. Also, it's kind of a tradition that with each entering first year class, everyone complains that the school is becoming too "mainstream" and "normal."

Swarthmore: "It should be on the Most Annoying LAC list because of how sickeningly pretentious most of the students are - in the "My family can afford the $45k per year tuition, but I choose to wear grandma clothes from Goodwill, because ironic attire means I'm interesting, right?" Those emo glasses on everyone. The smugness of kids taking first year seminars on shit like "The Art of the Japanese Tea Ceremony," which is a full semseter course. The complaining about honors theses. The sensitivity. The utter lack of preppiness. The way everyone gushes about how is was his/her (my apologies for using gender specific pronouns!) first choice, that they did NOT want to go to Yale. That they are earning "the best education money can buy."

Vassar: "Naked parties, school-sponsored drinking, the Spin article. And I was constantly meeting people who I was later told were "the heir to the Colgate/Palmolive fortune," or "that guy's dad invented post-its." Also, The Bravery went there. That's gotta count for something."

Wesleyan: "So Doree, if you don't want to hear about Electic, how about all of our AWESOME naked parties!?!?!"

Earlier: Help Us Pick America's Most Annoying Liberal Arts College

Help Us Pick America's Most Annoying Liberal Arts College

Doree Shafrir — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 16:15:08 EDT

After much discussion, we have come to the conclusion that it might be possible that Oberlin is not, in fact, the most annoying liberal arts college in the world. (Though there's some pretty strong evidence in its favor.) So we've come up with a list of contenders. We acknowledge that most people probably don't have first-hand experience with each of these schools, but we'd like you to think long and hard about your experiences with their graduates, which should be enough to allow you to make blanket generalizations about the nature of the colleges. Also, consider this your introduction; there will be a poll, and later a crowning of the Most Annoying Liberal Arts College In The World. Maybe they'll get a diploma from us! Write-in candidates will also be considered.

The Contenders (in alphabetical order)

Bard: Upstate New York haven for rich, disaffected filmmakers, writers, grade-skippers and artists.
Bennington: Hippie haven in Vermont with optional grades and lots of "creative" types. (Bonus: Bret Easton Ellis went there. Then, so did Jared Paul Stern.)
Brown (honorary liberal arts college): Eurotrash and rich hipster magnet in Providence, R.I.
Hampshire: This "non-traditional" college in Amherst, MA calls itself "experimenting." Whatever that means.
Kenyon: There's not much to do here besides go drink in the Ohio woods. Also, maybe too preppy for our list, maybe.
Oberlin: Asked and answered.
Reed: They're smarter than you. Just ask. Even though they're baked. Also: West Coast represent!
Sarah Lawrence: Breeding ground of coked-up artsy heiresses and the lone faggy heir.
Smith: Lesbians and the LUGS who love them.
Vassar: Favorite of budding editorial assistants everywhere. Male population: See under Sarah Lawrence.
Wesleyan: Our instinctive favorite to take the crown, if only because if we have to hear about one more awesome party at Eclectic we might slit our wrists. Also, heroin is all fun and games until you can't get out of rehab, isn't it!
So there you have it. Mull it over, give us your thoughts—and be ready to vote tomorrow.
[Photo via]

The Most Expensive Summer Camps

Doree Shafrir — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 13:20:50 EDT

A couple weeks ago, we compiled a list of the most expensive private schools in New York. But with summer fast approaching, we asked Intern Sheila to check into how much it costs to send the little darlings away for the summer. Of course, the really rich, and the WASPS, just take the kids to Nantucket or the Hamptons for the summer, and just drop them off at the club or whatever. But we checked in with someone close to us who knows about these things, and she reassures us that these places are where "all the JAPS" go to camp. And, you know, some other rich kids. Well! At nearly ten grand for 7 or 8 weeks, we hope that the bunks at least come with Frette linens, you know? Anyway, please help us fill in the blanks!

In descending order of expensiveness:

Camp Laurel
Co-ed; Readfield, ME
$10,000 for 7 weeks

Skylemar
Boys only; Naples, ME
$9,500 for 9 weeks; $5,200 for 4 weeks

Camp Vega
Girls only; Fayette, ME
$9,500 for 8 weeks

Takajo
Boys only; Naples, ME
$9,200 for 8 weeks

Timber Lake Camp
Co-ed; Shandaken, NY
$9,050 for 8 weeks

Camp Androscoggin
Boys only; Wayne, ME
$8,950 for 8 weeks

Cedar
Boys only; Casco, ME
$8,900 for 8 weeks

Camp Matoaka
Girls only; Smithfield, ME
$8,700 for 8 weeks

Indian Acres (for boys)/Forest Acres (for girls)
Fryeburg, ME
$8,500 for 7 weeks; $5,600 for 4 weeks

Camp Winaukee
Boys only; Moultonboro, NH
$8,900 for 8 weeks

Camp Manitou
Boys only; Oakland, ME
$8,650 for 8 weeks; $5,250 for 4 weeks

Pinecliffe
Girls only; Harrison, ME
Intern Sheila says: "They would not tell me this information over the phone, only if I wanted to be sent an informational brochure. According to the website, 'Interested families are encouraged to visit (by appointment) or to contact the camp by phone in order to arrange for a personal interview.'"

Wildwood
Boys only; Bridgton, ME
Intern Sheila says: "I called three times. They won't give me tuition information until I submit to an interview with the camp director (and only the camp director) about my son. Tuition does depend on age here, although they act like they don't know what you're talking about when you mention tuition."

Tripp Lake Camp
Girls only; Poland, ME
Intern Sheila says: "I called them twice. They were supposed to call me back with the fee and never did."

Really The Most Expensive Private Schools In New York

Choire — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 12:34:32 EDT

Yesterday, we all worked on ranking the most expensive private schools that New Yorkers send their kids to. Through emails, comments and a bit of research (thanks, lazyweb!), we think we now know the truth!

Riverdale: $33,100.
Dalton: $31,200.
Fieldston (Ethical Culture): $30,440. (Updated!)
Trinity: $30,170.
Brearley: $29,700.
Sacred Heart: $29,500.
Trevor Day School: $29,400.
Hewitt: $29,100.
Spence: $28,000.
Brooklyn Friends: $27,400. (Just added!)
Horace Mann: $27,350.
Chapin: $27,300.
Collegiate: $27,100.
Masters: $26,000. (Plus board, add $10K.)
Berkeley Carroll: $26,000. (Just added!)
Rye Country Day: $25,650.
UN International School: $24,250. (Just added!)
St. Ann's: $24,000.
Dwight: $24,000.
Packer Collegiate: $23,550.
York Prep: $23,000.
Nightingale-Bamford: $23,000.
French-American School: $22,200.
Geneva: $17,500.
Manhattan School for Girls: $15,500.
Fordham Prep: $11,360.

Updates and corrections welcome by email and comment!

New York's Most Expensive Private Schools

Choire — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 16:55:30 EDT

Today Pocket Change, this weird email newsletter that we somehow get, ranks Manhattan's private schools by price. (They don't include Horace Mann—$27,350, or Spence—circa $22,000, or York Prep—circa $23,000, or even Nightingale-Bamford, and who goes there, also around $23,000. Also they left out our far-away favorite, ~~Bi Country Gay School~~ Rye Country Day School, which is $25,650 for 11th and 12th grade.) But Dalton is the clear winner; after Fieldston, the rest on their list all look like also-rans for the poor.

Dalton: $29,250
Fieldston: $28,545
Geneva: $17,500
Manhattan School for Girls: $15,500
Fordham Prep: $11,360