Ray J, a person who managed to turn having sex with Kim Kardashian into a years-long career, may now be famous on his own merit—for allegedly assaulting a woman at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel and kicking out the window of a police car.

When a lady gets married, it's traditional that the man who had sex with her on camera should donate four months' worth of his profits from the sex tape to the happy newlyweds. And by "traditional," I mean "a new thing Ray J just made up."

"Keep your life in a positive perspective. We are not defined by our pasts," socialite Kim Kardashian told her 15 million Twitter followers yesterday.

That's what Kim's ex-husband Kris Humphries allegedly told his ex-girlfriend Myla Sinanaj.

Just three little old ladies doing what three little old ladies do: Watching Kim Kardashian: Superstar, and commenting on the size of Ray J's snake.

Whitney Houston drowned, with cocaine fresh in her system, following a possible heart attack, according to her newly-released initial autopsy report.

Here's a brief refresher on Ray J: he's Brandy's brother, he made a sex tape with Kim Kardashian, and he was romantically linked to the late Whitney Houston. He's also an author, apparently, with the publication of his new book, Death of the Cheating Man: What Every Woman Must Know About Men Who Stray.

Ray J wants to "protect his rights"—his sex tape rights! Billie Joe Armstrong get kicked off a plane. Sandra Oh gets her identity stolen. And Pippa Middleton maybe got a parking ticket. Saturday gossip is here, and ready to explain why its boobs are weird.

Ray-J confronts Kris Humphries on an airplane. Kim releases a video of Kris caressing her butt. Lindsay Lohan gets a Billy Joel tattoo. Marc Anthony says his love life "is not a funeral." Alyssa Milano gives birth to her baby. Thursday gossip fucked your wife.

Gwyneth Paltrow bleeds for her art. Mel Gibson worries his child will become a "retarded brain-damaged idiot." Gerard Butler duets with John Mayer. Jessica Simpson debuts a new engagement ring. Monday gossip pushes through the pain.