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Like every other celebrity, Everybody Loves Raymond star Ray Romano spent his Fourth of July weekend in Malibu, California. However, the TV funny man decided to catch some sweet waves instead of partying. Romano felt it'd be more beneficial to his overall well-being to go into the ocean as opposed to having to make small talk with Nicole Richie at a beach party.

[Photo Credit: X17 Online]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

· Writers strike yields a spec script boom, particularly for untested scribes with Diabo Cody-esque backstories. Really makes those days on the line worth it, huh? [THR]
· TNT loves Raymond, picking up Romano's pilot (penned with Mike Royce) Men of a Certain Age, a comic drama akin to Sideways about three men in their forties in midlife crisis. Is one of the manifestations misrepresenting one's age? Because last we checked, Romano was over 50. [Variety]
· Steven Soderbergh puts Matt Damon's box office draw to the test, casting Scott Bakula, Joel McHale, Mike O'Malley and Melanie Lynsky opposite the Bourne actor in dark, comedic thriller The Informant. [THR]

In today's anemic, pre-Memorial Day Weekend episode: Ray Romano; Joel McHale; Larry King; Tim Allen; John Mayer; Billy Baldwin and Mario Van Peebles; Scott Caan; Ed Helms and Tony Hawk; Andy Dick; Nicole Richie; Usher; Lance Bass; and Francois Chau.

· Two sightings on Monday, May 21:
Ray Romano with some friends at Sushi Nozawa in the Valley at lunchtime. The new guy on Talk Soup (Joel McHale) at the Dodgers game later that night with a guy friend and their dates.

· Not only did I see Larry King at Al's Newsstand in Beverly Hills this morning (5-23), but I saw him wearing designer jeans; squiggly lines on the back pockets and everything. I sensed a boot cut but cannot confirm. Hello!

· 5-23 Just saw Tim Allen and three buddies, all in black t-shirts and looking biker-esque (his technical advisers for Wild Hogs?), at the Pit Fire in NoHo. The Toolman has a bit of a gut and that chubby man's forward propulsion style of walk, but his arms were impressive. Probably bulked from lifting bags of ill-gotten Disney money.

· Tuesday 5/22 Saw John Mayer at Mexicali on Ventura Blvd. Jessica Simpson was not with him although they do serve a "Jessica Simpson Margarita" there! I wonder if that's what John was drinking? He's a lot taller than I expected - maybe 6'2''.

· 5/24, 10:30am, John O'Groats: Billy Baldwin having breakfast with Mario Van Peebles. After they finished eating, BB disappeared into the men's room and we never saw him come out. Maybe there is a secret back door? I hope he didn't stick Mario with the bill.

· Scott Caan was at the Daily Grill in the Tom Bradley Terminal on Sunday. He was wearing a typical leather jacket & t-shirt and jeans, and was with some other hipster early 30 something in a vintage T-shirt and jeans. Maybe his manager or something. They barely said a word to each other because they were both on their blackberries the whole time.

· I saw Ed Helms and Tony Hawk with two of his kids walking around on the Fox Studio's lot yesterday (5-21). I think they were there for the LA Screenings or maybe visiting the set of Eddie Murphy's new movie Starship Dave.

· 5-23 Andy Dick in an office building in Century City. He actually looked sober, although it was only noon.

· Nicole Richie and her little entourage were in full effect Tuesday night at The Comedy Store in West Hollywood. I'm a comic, and the guy who went up right before me (some newbie to the comedy scene who was frantically going over notes before his set), said that she was there to see him.

He was a total hottie and his name was Ashley. His entire act was
about being in rehab, so I'm thinking... maybe he met Nicole in rehab? And, there was no Joel M in sight.

They stayed long enough to watch my set... in which I just sing songs about celeb gossip, so I sang my song about Paris going to jail. There's even a line about "ditching that little bitch Nicole Ritch... ie." That got a bigger laugh than usual.

· lindbrook avenue in westwood - 8:30 pm, last thursday, during a class break, my friend and i went to baja fresh for a snack. as we stood in line, we noticed the employees were a little distracted. they were all atwitter and kept looking off to our left... finally we watched a tiny little employee tear off a piece of register receipt walk over to the young man sitting alone at a table and ask for an autograph. we looked over to see that it was "URSHER got the voice make ya booty go (clap)." yes, it was USHER, alone, getting some fajitas to go and REFUSING to be photographed, much to the dismay of the tiny employee.

· 5/21: Why did everyone fail to mention to me that, on Mondays, Hollywood = ghost town? After four failed attempts at finding an open and rockin' watering hole, Parc finally gave way to success. Barely a wait outside; the sole VIP for whom the velvet ropes parted before us plebes was Mr. Lance 'Perez-outed-me' Bass, with a mere two paps in hot pursuit (he must already be old news, qu é triste). He's really quite dashing in person and finally gave me proof that Hollywood men whose height surpasses my own really do exist. Too bad they all play for the other team. 5'8" chicks can barely catch a break in this town.

· Who: Francois Chau
No, Seriously, Who?: He plays Dr. Marvin Candler, the narrator in the instructional films within the show Lost.
Where: Block Party in Echo Park
When: Saturday, May 19

I think this rates as M-list for most people, by A-list for complete dorks, like myself.

(He's on the right, reaching for his daughter.)