Like a pair of pre-ripped jeans from Abercrombie or a distressed logo tee from Zazzle, America's food conglomerates are embracing a more easy breezy natural look when it comes to your food. And as expected, making processed food seem unprocessed involves more processing.

Heidi Montag is slagged off by Andy Cohen; the Playboy Mansion sickens dozens, while Levi Johnston's sister announces her intention to pose in the magazine. The precipitating factors ofPete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson's divorce become clear. Chaos reigns in Saturday's gossip roundup.

Tina Fey and her husband, music composer Jeff Richmond, bought a new apartment on the Upper West Side last spring. So it was only a matter of time before the couple put their old place on the market.

Lindsay Lohan's vagina makes a surprisingly discreet reappearance, Michael Jackson's good for real estate, Perez Hilton lied to Tyra and Lady Gaga talks blow.

DJ AM took OxyContin the night he died. Spencer Pratt takes his absurdity to new levels. And Kate Hudson wants to take over A-Rod's apartment. All that and more in your Wednesday Gossip Roundup!

RealNetworks freeing its Rhapsody music store offerings from copy-protection chains is about "going after a larger audience and making a better customer service experience available to people," according to Real VP Neil Smith. It may be too little, too late — I doubt my mom will be shopping at Rhapsody again any…

A few days ago, we noted that New York magazine, in its infinite wisdom, had deemed Jersey City the new cool neighborhood. Today we draw your attention to the most articulately insane response to the NYM story that we've come across, appropriately titled "Fuck You, Jersey City Is Not Cool." A sampling:

We don't understand why people keep writing about this:

The good news this morning is that Goldman Sachs has generously deigned to remain in lower Manhattan. And it only took a bit of nudging to get the elite investment bank to stay. As the Times reports: