Former Real Housewife of New York and alcoholic diet potion impresario Bethenny Frankel won't be on TV. Well, she won't be on any more TVs. OK, she still has her Bravo show, but no one wants her on any more. Her talk show got the axe before it could even get started.

Thanks to a deft culling of the herd, there are only two Real Housewives of New York left to terrorize the Big Apple and they're being rewarded with a healthy raise. It seems like they're actually going to make some real money now.

After the unceremonious firing of four cast members of Bravo's Real Housewives of New York, fans have been abuzz (positively abuzz!) about who would replace them. It seems now they might have an answer.

Here is actress Amy Phillips doing her impersonation of Real Housewives of New York star Ramona Singer—also known as one of the only ladies left standing after Bravo fired just about everyone else. It's absolutely amazing.

We've been hearing whispers for the better part of a week that Kelly Bensimon, Alex McCord, and former Gawker intern Jill Zarin have been fired from the Real Housewives of New York and now it seems like it is official. Goodbye, sweet, sweet ladies.

Yuppie haven Whole Foods has yanked reality star Bethenny Frankel's $120 million concoction, the Skinnygirl Margarita, from the shelves because one of the ingredients might cause cancer. And now Bethenny is on the attack.

Have you ever wanted a nip and tuck but didn't want to have to leave the courtesy of your own home? Well, if you can afford this $20 million Upper East Side mansion, you can finally have your own fully functioning operating room!

I was determined not to say anything about the interminable Real Housewives of New York reunion, but after watching the three-hour cackling death march, I couldn't remain silent. There's something very wrong with the Housewives, and someone needs to fix it.

We have reached the end of another season of Blonde Leading the Blonde and, as usual, it went out with some song and celebration, fighting and forgiveness, and the miracle of a modern day virgin birth.

Following tonight's season finale of Real Housewives of New York, stars Sonja Morgan and Countess LuAnn de Lesseps spent some time yakking it up with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live.

Contrary to popular belief, video has not killed the radio star and on last night's episode of Big Apple Diaries we saw that videos have in fact killed all the senses instead, mostly the sense of hearing. Oh, and there was a war over breakfast.

This week the Real Vibrator Batteries of DildoLand were even dirtier than usual. There was stripping, pasties, whips, boners, gender illusionists, and amputee midgets with strap-ons. And that was just in one of Sonja's dreams! Wait until you hear about what really happened.

Last night a bunch of petty criminals tried to shuck and jive their way into the world of the big mafia. It was dark and bloody and was just like a Martin Scorsese movie. But none of the Real Hellhounds of Gotham were injured, though. No, this war took place on Twitter.

Not happy with all the eardrum damage caused by her first aural abomination, Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is back with a new song and a new video, this time co-starring some other Real Housewives of New York. Know what? It's not completely horrible!

Parties, parties, parties, Real Housewives love a party. Who doesn't? Well, maybe your old shut-in uncle. He only likes the Food Network and cutting pictures of Selena Gomez out of magazines. But all of tomorrow's parties were on Real Housewives last night, then Nico came back from the grave to try to eat everyone's…

Last night was the first time in recent memory that the Real Butthumblers of New York was about actual financial bankruptcy and not bankruptcy of the spiritual or moral variety. There was some of that too, but, you know, there was some real poverty too. Oh, and everyone had lots of nasty sex.

The final chapter of the Housewives jaunt to Morocco was like the third act of a farce, wasn't it? There were comical fights, mistaken identity, mental breakdowns, and just packs of characters marauding around a compound creating mischief. And just about everyone cried.

Last night on Princesses of Persia: The Sand of Time our reality royalty got in even more fights, the natural world rebelled against them, and everyone nearly pooped their pants. It's just another vacation with the Housewives.

Last night on Middle-Eastern Massacre the garter snakes of New York slithered across the Atlantic to Morocco and turned into cobras. They bit and hissed at each other over petty matters, until a brilliant Sybil shamed them all.