Pirates: Not So Tough After All

How can the world sustain its romantic pirate fantasies when the only real pirates are now getting their asses kicked not just by Navy SEALs (understandable), but by lesser nations and—god—cruise ships? More »

Real Men Carry Their Own Luggage

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No One Actually Wants to Pay Money for Slade Smiley, Even If It's For Charity

Of all the fucking awful people that have wandered through Bravo's Real Housewives series, Slade Smiley might be the worst. (Well, second worst.) On the Orange County iteration of the reality debacle, the arrogant dope (whose birth name, we're convinced, wasn't fucking "Slade") demanded that his much-younger (she was 24 at the time) fiancé Jo "grow up" and stop going out all the time and take care of his children, but also liked to dress her up in sexy French maid outfits. So it's funny to hear now that while promoting Date My Ex, his new Bravo reality show in which he pimps out his now-ex-fiancé (go girl! sort of) for airtime and potential profit, he suffered a grave embarrassment: More »