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recaps
Real World Cancun: Please Don't Spit In My Taco
Oh, Mexico. Land of sand and ruins. Place of history and blood. Of vines and mountains. Mexico: where you can get drunk at a laser lightshow nightclub and then spit in your roommate's taco and no one bats an eyelash. More » -
recaps
NYC Prep: Embarrassment of the Riches
There was a moment on NYC Prep last night that was just so brutal, so true-to-life, that I feel I just have to get it out of my system and talk about it right now. Camille and her teeth. More » -
generations
The Youngs Will Destroy the Hills They Created
And you thought all teens and twentysomethings were shallow wastoids. Turns out they hate The Hills and other muck same as you. At least execs at MTV are hoping that's true, as they've just completely restructured based on that assumption.
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recaps
Real World Cancun: The Y'alls of Montezuma
Like an ocean breeze mingling with the scent of cheap fajitas, last night the Real World: Cancun swept into our lives. Not with a bang or a whimper, but some strange harmony in between. Yes, I said harmony! More » -
recaps
NYC Prep: You Don't Know How It Feels to Be Me
Well, great TV spirits be thanked/damned, it finally arrived. NYC Prep! The show about Real Life rich kids who are real life Girls who sometimes Gossip. Even the two boys, Sebastian and PC, are Girls. Who Gossip. Let's talk. More » -
you are here
How to Break Into the Real World: DCers' House
OK, that's not what we're advocating here, or even talking about. What we mean to say is: Hey, look! Someone found the blueprints for the Real World's new Dupont-located fuckhut. The biggest news? There's no goddamned hot tub. Whither Chlamydia? More » -
recaps
Real Housewives of New Jersey: You Wouldn't Like Teresa When She's Angry
Things disappear so quickly these days. They just fleet past, like car lights out on the Turnpike. I'm speaking, of course, of the premature end of Real Housewives of New Jersey, a show that we'd only just gotten to know. More » -
recaps
Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Gorge Between Tasteful and Tacky
What does one do with bubbies? Does one shake them and quake them and hopefully not break them? Or do they just dangle and bulge, like boats or balloons? We sought to find the answers to these questions last night. More » -
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Trapezoid Of Lies
Heidi Pratt's 'Hospitalization' Is One Giant Reality TV Mess
Heidi Pratt was rushed to a hospital in Costa Rica last night for some kind of stomach infection while filming/quitting I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. Our source calls the entire thing out. More » -
beautiful disaster
NYC Prep Continues to Make Us Hope for a Better Tomorrow
It just keeps getting better/worse. On the heels of our introduction to the kids of NYC Prep, Bravo's new real-life Gossip Girl series, an in-person preview was held at the Paley Center. Erstwhile Gawker editor Joshua David Stein was there. More » -
reality tv
'Coke Whore' Danielle Staub Was Also a 'Paid Escort,' According to Her Ex
Real Housewife of New Jersey and former "coke whore" Danielle Staub worked for an escort service in Miami in the late 1980s, according to an interview her ex-husband Kevin Maher gave to Star. There's lots more. More » -
area peacock shot
Heidi and Spencer's War on Reality Continues from Jungle Hideout
So we got duped. Twice! Heidi and Spencer, the prats from The Hills who supposedly quit the horrid reality trash barge I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here!, haven't, in fact, been gotten outta there. More » -
recaps
Real Housewives of New Jersey: A Criminal's Guide to the Garden State
Martha Graham once said that "dance is a song of the body. Either of joy or pain." Last night's New Jersey deep dive proved her sage point. There was joy and there was pain, but also there was dancing. More » -
brave the children
New York Rich Kids' Reality Show to Make the Case for Being Old and Poor
Growing up in New York and turning out to be a complete dickwad is a hallowed city tradition. Teen fictions like Gossip Girl have shed some fake-ish light on the plight/privilege, but now a reality series (on Bravo, of course) is poised to blow the story wide open. More » -
disasters
Spencer on Quitting I'm a Celebrity...: 'I'm Not a Reality Star. I'm on The Hills.'
Well, that didn't go well at all. One episode and several crying jags/smacking-water-bottles-out-of-Frangela's-hands later, Heidi and Spencer from The Hills have quit the disastrous reality series I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here!. Mostly because it's "not a nice show." Plus Heidi got bug bites. More » -
recaps
The Hills: The Death and Birth of Lauren Conrad
Well that, I guess, is it. The last we'll see of old Lauren "LC" Conrad on The Hills, the reality dynasty that she helped build with her own two well-groomed hands. How did it all go down? Well, like any good comedy, it ended with a wedding. More » -
reality tv
Rehashing Your 'Coke Whore' Past for Fun and Profit
We tracked down Kevin Maher, the former FBI informant and ex-husband of Danielle Staub of Real Housewives of New Jersey, whom he called a "coke whore." He's under a "contract" with Star for the exclusive to his story, so couldn't really talk. But he thinks Danielle's life is in danger.
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reality tv
Jon and Kate Gosselin Just Want to Be on TV Like Everybody Else
We don't pretend to understand the appeal of TLC's Jon & Kate Plus 8, but its season premiere brought in a whopping 9.8 million viewers last night—that's more than last week's Lost season finale. So why is this Kate woman complaining that people are interested in her life? More » -
omerta
The Manzos Are Not Real Criminals of New Jersey
OK, OK. Everybody just cool out. Put the pieces down, sit at the table, and let's break bread together. For the record: The Manzo family from Real Housewives of New Jersey does not have ties to organized crime. More » -
heading to the mall
Real Housewives To Burn Washington D.C. to the Ground
Washington is all the rage these days! What with the politics and all. MTV's Real World series might be heading down that way, and Newsweek did that DC-set Hills parody. Well now Bravo's following suit. With—yes you guessed it because, really, what else?—an upcoming installment of Real Housewives. More » -
recaps
The Hills: Love Means Having to Grudgingly Say You're Sorry
The pen is indeed mightier! In fact, the pen is ultimate. Which is to say, last night was the second-to-last episode of The Hills this season, calloo callay. As any good second-to-last episode is, it was all setup for the dramatic finale next week. So let's sift through the setup. More » -
recaps
American Idol: Guy Next Door vs. Guyliner
Oh Ryan, you master of the turn of phrase. Clever little frosted minx. I'm gonna miss you when they pack you back up into your E! radio locker and I don't get any of you until next January. Sigh. The last competition night of the year! It was... just aight. More » -
recaps
Real Housewives of New Jersey: A Palace Made of Marble and Makeup
You guys? I think I have to confess something here right at the start. No offense to my beloved O.C. harpies and my bankable New York climbers, but the New Jersey broads might be my favorite of all the Housewives. More » -
recaps
The Hills: Steve Martin Shoots Spencer Pratt In the Face
The Hills has fallen victim to the recession. Yes, a single job loss has swept the dusty mounds, and, presumably, has blown over the actual hills as well. We weep for Handbags, deprived of employ. More » -
recaps
The Real Housewives Reunion: The Time of Our Lives
Last night was Part Two of The War of the Grosses, alternately titled the Real Housewives of New York City reunion special. It was: ladies yelling in an echoing room while a gay dude sighed. More » -
recaps
American Idol: The Unholy Trinity
Three is a number steeped in magic and myth—the three fates spinning our doom, the three versions of Jesus (dad, son, creepy ghost), the three bears. And now, the three Idol men. Heroes all. More » -
recaps
Real Housewives of New Jersey: Make Our Garden State Grow
We took that turn! Whistling through tunnels, sailing o'er the bridge. We blinked our eyes, suddenly out of the city, in a new, strange place that the Indians named New Jersey, a thousand years ago. More » -
primer
After Real Housewives of New Jersey, We Will Never Be the Same
ZOMG guys, are you dying? Real Housewives of New Jersey premieres tonight, and it's getting really good reviews. I mean, not like Wire reviews. But good for a reality show reviews. More » -
recaps
The Hills: The Trip to Satan's Dungeon
That wisp dancing up into the azure sky isn't smoke from the Fire of Santa Barbara. No, it's bits of the dearly departed soul of Spencerina, fleeting up to heaven to make handbags with God. More » -
night terrors
Can American Idol Ever Be Stopped?
Short answer: No. Longer answer: Sorta. The New York Times ponders the important question today, as the singing competition show's ratings drop but its revenues continue to skyrocket. More » -
tv
Is The Fashion Show For You?
No one knows when Project Runway starts again (June? 2012?) or where it will be (something called "Lifetime"), but Bravo has kindly given us a knockoff, airing tonight. More » -
recaps
Gossip Girl: Sooty Sextopia
In our continuing series of guest recappers, we present a mysterious woman known only as Octavia Thundersnatch who braved one hour of insipid TV so you didn't have to. More » -
recaps
The Hills: The Week 'Skankily' Entered the Lexicon
Richard is off tra-la-la-ing through Paris this week and for some reason MTV still decided to air an episode of The Hills. Guest recapping the MTV abomination is hero Megan Kustra. Be nice to her. More » -
reality tv
'Homeless Real World' Bound to Be Better than Regular 'Real World'
Four independent TV producers are searching for the right network to broadcast their labor of love, "Homeless Real World," which is kind of like "Real World Brooklyn," but in Denver, and with fewer losers. More » -
making it
Hipster Grifter Exploitation Schemes Arrive
Fugitive Hipster Grifter Kari Ferrell already has a standing offer to do some porn, and now she has another one to be on an awful-sounding reality show. This is how people "make it": More » -
recaps
Real Housewives: The Brooklyn Sex Dungeon and Other Adventures
The penultimate Housewives! With tales of rejuvenation and renewal, discord and disharmony. But mostly tales of women on the verge—about to pop or explode, to shit or get off the pot. How'd it go? More » -
i want to believe
Nevada Brothel Offers Blago an Internship
Sadly, former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich cannot participate in I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, because "here," for him, could be a penitentiary. But his reality tv dreams are not yet dead! More » -
recaps
The Hills: Each and Every One a Virgin
Go tell Isabella Rossellini that we've found the saddest music in the world. It's the sound of a dozen idiots chirping on The Hills. Last night, there was bible study. On The Hills. Religion! More » -
reality tv
David Letterman's Underminey Digs at Lauren Conrad
Lauren Conrad's most recent and, let's face it, quite possibly last appearance on the Late Show was an odd cocktail of passive-aggressive barbs and ribald, lusty commentary from host David Letterman. More » -
sad things
Lauren Conrad's Fashion Line Lands... at Kohl's
Long ago, two merchandising roads diverged in Hollywood, and Lauren Conrad took the pricey one less traveled by plastic reality show dolls, while Heidi Montag went cheap. Well, now Conrad is going cheap, too. More »






























































