Most of this is sentiment is heralded by the increasing presence of one Stephanie Pratt, the crescent moon-faced sister of Mattel experiment gone wrong Spencer. She's stirring it up by dating boys belonging to other girls, lying, and bitching. In other news, bovine, saturnine Whitney may meet a mate in preparation for her own spin-off series. And then, of course, there's Laffy Taffy Heidi, scowling and braying at the walls, shaking her fists toward the snowy peaks of Crested Butte. The end is nigh. At least Heidi and Spencer are going to Iraq soon. To, you know, do their part. Maybe they'll wander into the desert and never return, happy to exist in caves, trying to divine mystical celebrity secrets from grains of sand. A boy can dream. Preview is below.

[Ad Age]

Jingles was supposed to debut this month, but CBS, like a kid who left her homework until the last minute, is pushing the debut back because they haven't "promoted" the show enough. The reason they have such crappy judges is also, reportedly, because they had a "time crunch" in assembling them. When they take care of these things, perhaps they can "rethink" the show's concept and then "cancel" it.

Rounding out the judging panel: the ad lady who came up with that song, "I don't want to grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid." Well, she's a fine choice.

[Ad Age]

[WSJ]

CBS signed up Roehm to be a judge on Jingles, a new show where people compete to make the best ad jingles (sounds awful). But the show has already been "postponed" before it even launched, because the network needs more time to promote (kill?) it. So how did Roehm, famous mostly for her spectacular failure on one of marketing's biggest stages, get the gig?

According to executives familiar with the matter, the "Jingles" casting crew was in a tizzy as of just a month ago, sending out dispatches to ad folks citing a "time crunch" in assembling a judges' panel, with a specific eye on pinning down a female ad or marketing executive.

Oh, and part of the criteria was the hotness factor: "It is television, therefore, being attractive would be a bonus," said one e-mail dispatch from Sam Gollestani, casting director for the host and judges.

The article also points out that every similar show has failed. Should be great!

[Ad Age, Forbes]

She signed up [reality show partners Mary] Rambin and [Megan] Asha to act as cofounders of the site — nonsociety.com — and began developing content: lip-sync videos, a talk-show series modeled after The View, and the collected musings that the trio were already posting on their own blogs.

(Emphasis added.) There's no doubt that after four years of fameballing her way around the New York media and Web startup scene, Allison will be able to drum up some decent guests for her talk show. But will she and her co-hosts be able to host any conversations worth listening to? Allison's hardly had occasion to develop interview skills, what with her decidedly non-journalistic work as a sometime society chronicler, dating columnist and stint as Star's official talking head for television.

Talk show aside, between the Wired cover, Bravo show and deepening roots in the tech/media investment community, Allison is clearly revving up to take her act national, a point the Wired profile neatly crystallizes. Here's how it recasts her West Coast forays, which have seemed like nothing so much as shopping excursions for geek talent and VC money, as part of a national expansion of the Allison machine:

In July 2007, having conquered — and perhaps oversaturated — the Manhattan media market, Allison set her sights on a new target: the Silicon Valley startup world. In a flashback to her Gawker breakthrough, she flew to the Bay Area to attend the annual TechCrunch party thrown by influential blogger Michael Arrington. Dressed in a flattering Diane von Furstenberg dress, Allison made an immediate impression among the blue-shirt-and-khaki-wearing attendees. The next day, Arrington posted a video on his site of Allison cooing for the camera, telling her audience that she had a thing for geeks, and urging them to call her. Soon Allison had become a Valleywag staple, befriended the likes of CNET's Caroline McCarthy and Sequoia Capital's Mark Kvamme, and — like Jack in the Box opening a new crosstown franchise — introduced her brand of ignore-me-if-you-dare provocation to the Web 2.0 startup world.

Other noteworthy points from the story:

• Former Gawker managing editor Choire Sicha says Allison's fame happened "in a way that seemed seamless and kind magical."
• While an undergraduate at Georgetown University, Allison wanted to date med students, so she got a job in the medical school library and did, well, did her thing. She became known as the "Medstitute" — and a fixture at med school parties, even shown in a slideshow at med school graduation.
• Allison debuted on Gawker when Nick Denton "demanded" Chris Mohney write about her.
• Gawker writers, "facing an unrelenting 12-posts-a-day workload, couldn't resist the easy productivity of a quick Allison item." True!
• Allison had a "burgeoning relationship" with Digg founder Kevin Rose, but it was "killed" by Valleywag's very early coverage.
• Allison talks to Rambin like "a mother comforting a child after a deflating T-ball game:" "I thought that Gawker post about you today was very nice."
• Non Society in a nutshell: "Two C-list starlets can get together and make one B-list couple."

Finally, a tipster notes that Platon Atoniou's photo of Allison for Wired's cover (assuming he shot it — he is credited with the inside shots) borrows heavily from his earlier shot of Italian actress and model Monica Bellucci (on the left):

Is there a suggestion here that Julia Allison is anything less than a total original?? Heaven forbid.

[Wired]

Blayne

Answer can be found at AfterElton.

I mean, it's probably mostly all well and good and I hope it makes people with disabilities feel more recognized and enfranchised. But, sigh, are we the only ones hearing the feint lilt of a carnival freak show organ grinding? Once the victor is done with her four-page spread in the UK edition of Marie Claire, will she be welcomed into the ranks of the modeling world? Or will she just be the girl missing an arm who won that weird show once?

Earlier: Meet the girls.

It's been a good run, but when we give a television show to a prostitute who looks to a fake bisexual MySpace star (whose own reality show involves eating bugs pig vaginae and fetish costume parties) as some sort of career aspiration, I think it's about time we packed it in. I don't care where you go, you just can't stay here. I for one will be poking around old English manors looking for Narnia.

"I'm in it to win it."/"I came here to win."
Uttered by bull-terrier wide-shouldered ladies and lilting, wispy gays alike, reality competitors love to remind themselves and the cameras that they are, in fact, competing for something.

"I'm just playing the game."
Similar to the "here to win" tropes, wicked contestants like Project Runway's Wendy Pepper and Top Chef's Spike Stupidhat have repeatedly defended their actions by saying that they're just playing the game of winning. Popularized by Survivor which, unlike shows where actual creative ability is meant to determine success, is actually about playing a game.

"And you know, I'm thinking: 'I could be going home tonight/today.'"
Weary contestants, beaten down by the days competition or sensing the tides of bad voting turning their way, will often sigh this to the cameras. Are they hoping that the producers will take pity on them? Are they trying to steel themselves for a possible disappointment? Well, considering that these things are filmed after the fact, we're pretty sure they're just trying to get you excited. We just wish they'd find a new way to express their worry. But, it can't have anything to do with "packing his/her bags." Because that's tired too.

"I think I might be falling for/in love with ___"
You think? You might be? And let's not even go into how annoying it is to say that you're "falling for" someone. Though, to be fair, we might actually just be mad at the genre that produces this fairly tame line, as we're not so much fans of A Flavor Shot at The Bachelor's Rock Love.

"Throw ___ under the bus."
Popularized by Top Chef, now everyone on TV is saying this damn thing. I liked it at first, it had a kind of cigar-chomping zip to it, but now the bus and the world under its wheels are too crowded.

Which other phrases rankle with you?

Project Runway was a big hit on the Bravo network. But Weinstein decided to move the show to Lifetime, which agreed to up his cut to around $1 million per episode. He also screwed Bravo by lining up sponsors for the show on his own, which precluded the network from selling ads to other companies in the same categories. Weinstein even ended up favoring a Wal-Mart placement on the show over a Macy's one, proving he wasn't in it for taste.

Still, the show is a hit, and a cash cow. Project Runway has been successful enough to demand that fashion magazines like Elle and Marie Claire pay for the privilege of being featured on the show. Hardcore media hardball.

And a treasure trove of new evidence dug out of Weinstein's trash can by the Village Voice's Tony Ortega shows that the mogul himself is closely involved in the show's sponsorship choices. An email from a former Weinstein Co. employee shows the calculating negotiation process:

"I wish there was more time. Twc [The Weinstein Company] has already gone to great lengths with new partner at lifetime to not only secure both categories for you but also to be flexible toward loreal in coming up with an alternative for you on their packaging of [seasons] six + seven. Unfortunately, due to filming of season five and tresemme's feeling that they are being iced out of season 6, there just is not more time to give. As you know, season five commences in days...twc is now at risk that tresemme will pull out of season 5, which puts twc at risk for 1.1m [$1.1 million]. Carol is welcome to call hw [Harvey Weinstein] or me, but the deadline has to remain at close of business tuesday for loreal to decide on hair category for [Project Runway]/models for season 6 and structure of [seasons] 7/8. I would additionally say that the whole reason we are to this point is a result of the relationship! Without the relationship and the history, l'oreal would not have the opportunity to even engage in the opportunity to obtain the hair category."

Good thing they have such a good relationship! Or this sponsorship thing would really be nasty. And here's how much the company is expected to cough up to Weinstein in order to have its goop featured on the faaabulous production:

"Hw - if you get a call from carol hamilton it will be regarding [Project Runway] season 6 and beyond. I've imposed a tuesday, close of business deadline for them to commit to hair category in addition to make up. They have two choices: 1) Take both hair and make up for [$2 million] plus [$1 million] to twc (no split) for season 6 and [$2 million] for hair and makeup for season 7 plus [$1 million] to twc for a total of [$6 million]. 2) Commit to season 6 only for [$2 million] hair/make up plus [$1 million] to twc] and then by 3rd episode must pick up both season 7 + 8 for a total of [$8 million] (but must take additional [$1 million] to twc regardless) They have asked for additional time and I have declined that citing tresemme and season 5 which starts shooting shortly. Call me if you have questions. Best, lori"

A mogul's life: not so different from a used car salesman. Buy now! There's a guy on his way here right this minute to take it off my hands if you don't want it.....

[VV; pic via NY Mag]

I mean, in a strange, really cynical way. While people who want to be on a goddamned reality show badly enough to attend some bogus "school" in the hopes of realizing their dream are probably a sad, unlikable bunch, at least the institution is honest. I mean, everyone knows that people amp up (or invent entirely) the personality quirks that are featured on these types of shows. It's blatantly evident that story lines are manufactured and tailored this way and that to follow the ratings. And now this scabby little school is putting it all out there and saying, free of philosophical wink, that they can teach you how to better play the role of you. They may be aiding the collapse of culture, but at least they're up front about it!

The broken, rage-filled 10th grade lesbians and haughty, closeted 9th grade boys who will inevitably populate the show will mirror the ruined and angry contestants on the grownups version, while also representing how kids today "are continually expanding their culinary knowledge - from cooking classes to kids' cookbooks," according the show's press release. Also noted in the release is that the adult scream-fest Top Chef, which airs at 10pm on Wednesday nights, performs very well with kids aged 2-17. Who the hell is letting their 8 year old stay up till 11pm on a school night? Seriously, I want to know. Are they the same people that are sending little 12-year-old Vincent (pronounced, by Vincent, as "Vinthhhent") to culinary classes? Find out for me. There's your reality show.

Project Runway's clout wasn't inevitable. When Heidi Klum's show was first conceived, snobby Anna Wintour's Vogue turned down a request to provide a judge; the producers made do with Elle's Nina Garcia instead. And it's not clear how well the show, which was recently traded from NBC's Bravo to Lifetime by its producers at the Weinstein Company, will make the transition to a more mainstream channel with few of the trend-setting gay viewers who gave the show such buzz when it launched.

But magazines have found themselves increasingly dependent on reality fashion programming to maintain circulation and advertising in a troubled publishing environment. Elle's newsstand sales have dropped since the fourth season concluded in March with the victory of "fierce" flamer, Christian Siriano; the magazine is now backing a riskier new show with Tyra Banks, CW's Stylista (preview clip shown here). It isn't only that a title's presence on the show boosts circulation: industry insiders say that reality tie-ins are an increasingly important draw for fashion advertisers.

Under these circumstances, it's unsurprising that magazines such as Marie Claire, Bazaar and In Style are competing furiously for a role as the magazine partner of Project Runway. Marie Claire even hired away Elle's Nina Garcia to provide continuity; and the June issue featured Heidi Klum, the German supermodel turned Project Runway host who dispatches failing contestants with her signature "auf wiedersehen".

Marie Claire's Joanna Coles hardly disguised the intent: "With Nina coming on board and Heidi Klum on our June cover, it seems a moment of perfect synergy for the magazine.” There's one more thing though that would make the Hearst magazine's bid still more synergistic: hard cash. Word is that the Weinstein Company, which is trying to squeeze every last dollar out of its lucrative television hit, is demanding low seven figures from the competing magazines. For any that won't pay, it's auf wiedersehen.

Along the way, contestants will be whittled down via "Hot Tub Elimination Ceremonies" after which rejected "bros" will be asked to leave the bachelor pad dripping wet in a swimsuit, luggage in hand. Bringing to mind various dating reality shows, contestants also will have shots at a "group date" and "alone time" with Jenner in every episode.

The Real Housewives of Orange County were also feisty, tearing into their New York City counterparts. "I hope their boyfriends are hotter than their husbands!" snarked Jeana Keough. Meanwhile, O.C. "Housewives" hottie Tamra Barney made it known that there was no competition between her and NYC's Alex McCord, whose husbands share a name: "I have the hot Simon; she has the gay Simon. Eww - he's so creepy!"

The California girls also had a big laugh over our recent report that Ramona Singer threw a gift-lounge tantrum after she was refused four free pairs of Luxottica sunglasses. "Honey, we don't have to beg. We have the money to buy!" laughed Lauri Waring. "Isn't that kind of the point?"

Their assumptions are fine, I guess, in that there's really no arguing that people still watch even though they know things are fake, but I think that they're a little blithe about it. Yes, people are still totes into their favorite dumb reality shows, but it seems increasingly grudging. Audiences don't happily accept these falsehoods, they grumpily tolerate them. And people won't put up with that forever. (I mean, look at the divorce rate). For example, I'm pretty much done with my once-beloved The Hills, largely because during its most recent season the producers did everything they possibly could to manufacture "drama," save for wheeling a teleprompter into the frame. I'm done with it. I could only abide being openly lied to for so long. And I suspect other people feel the same way.

And what of the big blunders that cast a questioning light on popular programs? The biggest such incident in recent memory managed to tarnish the reputation of the once-sterlingly credible American Idol. This season saw the tremendous, squishy thud of Paulagate, in which perpetually addled judge Paula Abdul tripped balls into the future and judged a performance that hadn't happened yet. It might seem a bit conspiracy theory-esque, but I don't think that was a simple "oops, saw the dress rehearsal" moment. Idol is showing more and more signs of producer doctoring, to the point that I'm beginning to suspect that they're jiggering with the votes. (I mean, who the hell was voting for Syesha?) And, aha! Ratings reached new lows this year.

So, no, the producers should not be so "whatevs!!" about synthesizing moments on their shows. I mean, it's not the end of the world, but when you start showing your hand too much, as on The Hills, or get increasingly careless about your secret machinations, like American Idol, ratings will start to dwindle. Or maybe I'm in the minority.

Or! It doesn't matter either way because we'll never really be clued-in to what's going on behind the scenes. Meaning we should just suck it up: "I personally think audiences should watch all TV with a grain of salt," says the Biggest Loser producer. "Because there is almost no way to know."

Hey did you know that host Haylie Duff (sister of Hilary) was on Broadway once, as a 109th replacement in Hairspray?? Well don't worry, she reminds you every two minutes! And were you aware that Jerry Mitchell, the sly queen who choreographed and directed the stage show, is "legendary"? Yeah, neither did I. Mostly because he's not. But the show will try to tell you, 145 times, that he is. Eyyyyyuck. The girls are as desperate and sad as one would assume, and none seem to recognize the essential failure in logic of thinking that winning this show would be the achievement of their lifelong dream. Because, um, this is fleeting and silly and guarantees nothing beyond a bad six-month contract. Plus, no one cares. Or, hm, maybe you do. You're all big Max Crumm fans, right?

To the piece's author, Alexandria Symonds, she wrote:

You, Ms. Symonds, are obviously a fundamentally bitter woman. You degrade the work ethic and academic values of a 17-year-old in order to cure your self-consciousness and upset at perhaps never being recognized for your work when you're through with "The Specator." In fact, if my staff hadn't been excitedly 'googling' every article written about our (national television) show, I would never had come across your disgusting piece.

postscript: I might have been "too young to subject" myself to doing this television show, but apparently, I'm not too young to be disparaged and intensely criticized by you.

Also, I could barely form a cogent thought when I was seventeen, mostly because I was too busy cutting school and furtively smoking cigarettes outside the Mass. College of Art (how tortured!) Lorber, on the other hand, writes thoughtfully and coherently. She has a bright future ahead of her. It's too bad she's going to NYU, the place where good old fashioned youthful ambition turns into a fetid, sour soup of bobo snobbery. Rise above, Amanda!

Full email (definitely worth a read) is at Daily Intel.

Project Runway
How It Is Now: The popular, zeitgeisty series, in which gay people and ladies compete to design the best fashions, has one more season on Bravo before it moves over to Lifetime, where it will (presumably) be their flagship program. The contestants run all over New York (well, it'll be in LA for Lifetime) and have lots and lots of challenges outside the confines of a "studio." Add big-name talent like Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn to the roster, and it's not exactly bargain basement.
The Cheapening: The LA move, done so Klum can be closer to family, will feature most of its workroom scenes filmed in the Bavarian model's mudroom. While it will look sadly low-budget, there will be the unexpected thrill of seeing Klum, fuzzy in the background, walking around in a commandant's uniform, brandishing a Luger, yelling "schnell! schnell!" to her terrified children, and making husband Seal bounce balls on his nose for fish. Also, Michael Kors will be replaced with a Teddy Ruxpin doll that's been dyed orange.

Top Chef
How It Is Now: The "drunken, horribly angry chefs compete for a vague prize" Bravo hit is all about on-location filming, from Miami to New York to Chicago. No "big" names like Project Runway, but zombie bite victim and series host Padma Lakshmi probably isn't that cheap anymore.
The Cheapening: Easy-Bake Ovens, mostly. Head judge Tom Colicchio will be swapped out for a cardboard cutout of Mr. Clean. Also, the already heavily product-placementy series will get further tie-ins, and contestants will be forced to cook with only the "Kraft family of products."

America's Next Top Model
How It Is Now: This strange, melting wax figurine of a competition series, one of The CW's biggest hits, flies their final contestants to far-flung locations like China, Thailand, and South Africa. They often employ many stylists and photographers. Plus, Tyra. She's making a mint off this thing.
The Cheapening: The new, cheaper "cycles" will last only three minutes. The first two will just be slo-mo footage of Tyra gyrating and posing for some unseen photographer while, in voiceover, she reads selections from her diary. In the final minute, Tyra will shriek some weird name like "Yahoo" or "Jasmenayaya" and a weird leggy thing will emerge from the shadows, weeping. She'll be handed the keys to a 1987 Datsun and then the lights will be shut off. Nothing will be lost in this new version.

The Hills
How It Is Now: Fancy camera work, increasingly popular stars, buzzy pop songs, constant on-location filming. While MTV is unlikely to make many changes to their hugely successful series, there are a few corners that could be cut.
The Cheapening: Each episode will simply feature soaring stock footage of Los Angeles while melancholic upbeat pop-emo songs play. In a little box in the corner of the screen, one cast member (to be changed every week) will make facial expressions. Sometimes they'll say things like "Brody" or "Le Deux" or "Baloney."

Only time will tell if these prognostications will come true. You can also probably look forward to new seasons of your favorite reality shows like Survivor: Parking Lot, The Just OK Race, and So You Think You Can Dance For Nickels. Maybe we'll finally see the genre killed off! Wouldn't that be something.

For now, though: Enjoy.

Adrian Foster, 32, an employee at Petland Discounts, also dreamed of stardom. “It’ll be good, once I’m on it,” he said. But he questioned the choice of neighborhood.

“Compared to other places they were living, I think this would be a downgrade,” he said. “A few bars, a few stores, that’s about it. Clubs, they have to go to Manhattan. It’s kind of rough out here. They’ve just got to keep their eyes open and ears open.”

Danny Perez, 37, works at Gallery Religious Supplies, which sells, besides the anti-jinx soap, candles and bath salts that claim to attract money or love and dispel evil. He knows the neighborhood as well as anyone, acting as a confidant to his customers, who whisper to him of some ill or want that he addresses with a special candle.

“They’d be jeopardizing their safety,” he said of the cast members. “Too many side streets.” But he promised to do his best for any of them. “I’ll help them out,” he said. “I’ll help them out.”

Gosh, it sounds like throwing a bunch of young, privileged, mostly white youths into downtown Brooklyn might produce some unexpected complications. If you think about it, it's almost as though that's what MTV wants.

[Times]

David Cook, American Idol Season 7
Why He Won: Because, frankly, he was the best. Sure you could sing the praises of a Carly Smithson or even an Archuleta, and yes you could (I certainly would) call Cook a bit smug at times, but he was consistently "in good voice" and as original as this show gets. He did well by himself digging up saucy arrangements of pop staples like "Billie Jean" and forged his own path with the surprisingly rockin' riff on Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby."
What the Future Holds: The inevitable tour (which, and you'd better not tell anyone this, I will be attending in Worcester, MA on August 9th. Shh.) A record contract with 19 Entertainment. Big record sales, I predict. He's Daughtry-lite, if that's even possible.

Kristi Yamaguchi, Dancing With the Stars, Season 6
Why She Won: (OK, so she was already a "star.") The figure skating background (she won the gold medal in Albertville in '92) probably didn't hurt. She was a regular favorite on the show because of her superior dancing chops, plus a lady hadn't won since Kelly Monaco in the first season. Take that, ex-football stars and Mario Lopez.
What the Future Holds: I believe there is some sort of tour (which I will not be attending). Hopefully Kristi will film a cameo in The Cutting Edge 4: The Wrath of D.B. Sweeney

Whitney Thompson, America's Next Top Model, Cycle 10
Why She Won: Well, it's a bit mysterious. By all accounts, runner up Anya was consistently better throughout the season. ANTM' s biggest fan Nick Denton (kidding!) recently suggested that it might have been a set-up because Whitney is a "plus-sized" model, and one of those things has never won before. Her Seventeen magazine prize photo shoot may prove or disprove her alleged plus size; I don't know lady parts well enough to determine.
What the Future Holds: She has a year contract with a modeling agency, which involves being a Cover Girl. Very few (I believe only one?) of ANTM's models get that contract renewed, so it's hard to say where Thompson will end up. I imagine at a shopping mall somewhere, plagued by ever-deepening wrinkles caused by car payments and the dim, seemingly shrinking house and the ever-swaying pine trees off in the distance that once seemed to promise her the world but now seem only to fence her in.

Christian Siriano, Project Runway, Season 4
Why It Won: Siriano, hot-tranny verbal mess that he was, was clearly the most adept and promising designer of the bunch. Sure Rami was talented and Jillian was stern and focused, but Christian had that youthful flair. The Gays, whose pink-gloved hands are all over this show, love to remind viewers that youth and charming hubris always trump age and experience, sadly.
What the Future Holds: He is currently designing a collection for Spring Fashion Week in New York (to be held this fall) and designing on commission from fashion mavens like Victoria Beckham. He's also filming a sequel to The Jungle Book.

The Rookies, Real World/Road Rules Challenge, "The Gauntlet III"
Why they Won: Presumably, because they are rookies, the cirrhosis was less advanced. Also their team had been systematically whittled down to a small few, so they were quick and able to beat the large, bloated Veterans team.
What the Future Holds: Automobile accidents, embarrassing pants-dropping at Tallahassee bars, an infinite number of further Challenge seasons. Four of them are already dead. (Not really.)

So, there you have it. Our winningest winners in this most winning of years. Of course, So You Think You Can Dance and Last Comic Standing will be gnawing at us all summer, crowning people some time in August. So, I guess the winning keeps going. And going. And going. It never stops.

So why do we feel like we're losing?

[Times, Best Week Ever]

Though, they won't say this is definite, and do confirm that they're considering a lot of other safe, white borough neighborhoods like Park Slope, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn Heights, and DUMBO. Proximity to Manhattan is apparently a concern for the producers (and yet they also say they've been looking at Coney Island?), but they are totes committed to Brooklyn and its "cachet" and "vibrancy." Isn't "vibrancy" TV-code for "ethnic"? Ain't that much ethnic about Brooklyn Heights or Carroll Gardens or most of Park Slope at this point. Sigh. This sure-to-be disaster stumbles on. [Via Gothamist]

Well one could say that it has to do with our troubling times; the products of a population that has begun to huddle together while economic downturns, wars, and impending environmental doom swat at us. I'm sure some historian fifty or a hundred years from now will come up with a clear and concise political and social analysis of why reality TV suddenly started giving back. But really, in the here and now, I think it just has to do with simple programming. Those "look how rich we are!" shows, like My Super Sweet 16, certainly had (and arguably are still having) their day. But trends change and evolve, and I think this is just the next phase. From laughing at people being bad to laughing at people doing good. Sure the Real Housewives are still smearing their largess all over our television screens, and the girls from The Hills try to pass off sitting around and blinking as work, but I think they too will dwindle. Perhaps we'll soon see Countess LuAnn muddling through an African landfill, trying to do her part. Or Heidi Montag building habitats for humanity. It will still be self-involved and self-serving, sure, but the audience will get to breathe deep and pretend that truly good things are happening in a truly awful world.

Mark Harris, an Entertainment Weekly editor and all around smart guy (Tony Kushner won't date no slouch, after all), wrote a funny and dead-on piece on how to fix the troubled extravaganza in this week's magazine that I wholeheartedly agree with. First off, yes, get rid of the odious product placement. Everyone knows that Paula is not drinking Coca-Cola from that Coca-Cola cup (har har). Speaking of Paula, Harris suggests gently getting rid of both the straight up mush mouth and fellow judge Randy "I am Basically King Koopa from Mario" Jackson. Yes. I agree. They are both boring and repetitive and don't really engender any, you know, respect.

Harris also suggests setting minimums on contestants' ages and getting hipper mentors, among other sound ideas. But I think the key to an Idol comeback is really just forsaking the cynicism. I know it's ridiculous to say that one