I need to know if Ronnie (after a steroid induced, bodily spastic fit of gyrating dry-heave motion on the dance floor, which looked as if you tasered his brain stem while underwater) went home to cry after the Quizno's Sammie starting batting her Genoa ham at the Mike Cop? Because it sure looked like he went home, took off his Ed Hardly shirt, and flopped on the bed in a good old fashioned sob-out.
@Spirit Fingers: I think that Sammi's new nick name is Quizno's. After all, she's been browned like their sandwiches, she's cheap, and you'd only eat her if there is nothing else around.
@Spirit Fingers: That's how I knew it was a serious situation for Ronnie - because the shirt came off as soon as he stepped out of the club. Angry Man Walking
I really like the anthropological approach you have taken with the "Jersey Shore" post. And it fits the show. Your Glee posts are exuberant and heartfelt, which is how the show resonates with most people, but you recognize that most people are watching "Jersey Shore" to gawk. Well done.
@ima221: @Brian Moylan: This truly is research, and not entertainment. It seems Gawker has nailed down the best ways to re-cap television. Gossip Girl rating system, Glee summaries with video accompaniment, and now this: an anthropological study on "Jersey Shore." It's perfect, and I am learning so, so much about their alternate world.
A world I hope never to encounter outside the comforts of my living room television.
I also loved when the Situation and Sami were talking before her date & the whole time he was posing shirtless on the bed like he was in a Playgirl spread circa 1985!
@marin79: That's 'cause he does not care, he can get any girl he wants, he doesn't need no Sammy SoSo. As a matter of a fact - he's got TWO girls in the hot tub right now, waiting on the Situation because that is what the Situation is right now. (Note how he didn't mention that one of those girls was Snooki!)
I imagine that hooking up with Snooki (or any one else in the house, really) would be a disaster. Your sheets would be covered in brown residue from her tanner, you'd probably contract puke-breath and pink eye, and have a ton of puncture wounds from her talon-like nails. What a nightmare.
@Tchotchke: She's a killer pitbull in heels. How would you get her out of the house? Pretend Domino's is at the door, then push her out? "Look, pizza!" Slam!
@FitnessMadeSimple: As I said last night, the answer to Snooki's question is so obviously meant to be "pussy," but Pauly is much too dense to realize it.
@Tchotchke: It does, indeed. That's why they use it as part of the entry ritual in Biosafety Level 4 labs. Sadly, the space suits worn by researchers prevent them from acquiring kickin' tans.
@Tchotchke: Leave Snookie alone. She's my favorite, plus she got punched in the face. I was so upset over that. I'm glad I still have some humanity left in me.
The only thing that could make this show more compelling is if one of those Orange Men acted on their obvious latent homosexuality. That crescendo could, perhaps, be unparalleled.
It feels like MTV made a pact with Devo in the 1980's about their social theories and now one side is being forced to deliver on the terms of the bet. Ideally, "Mongoloid" would just play on a loop throughout every episode.
@overunderover: I hadn't thought of it until reading your comment, but now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure the situation is that The Situation has a thing for Ronnie. Have you noticed he doesn't get mad at Ronnie for being with Sammi? Ever! This is not normal. Guys always get angry at other guys who hook up with girls they want, regardless of whether or not they have a shot. Instead, he's angry at Sammi...clearly, because he really wants Ronnie and is jealous of HER.
@overunderover: Ah yes, when will the world change and straight men will realize that by getting it on with each other in a hot tub in front of women, they will in fact turn on those women even more!
Do you hear me Donnie and The Situation? MAKE OUT IN THE FREAKIN HOT TUB ALREADY!
It is worth noting that after last week's premiere, Snooks punch out closed out the season teaser. This week, MTV decided to show the abuser being arrested with "you're going to jail" just for good measure.
Like honestly, are you getting it? You're not getting it.
I said it last night, but I'd like to reiterate that Sammi's and Ronnie's sad efforts to make each other jealous struck me as the version of "The Gift of the Magi" for hapless idiots.
This could make for a great (read: dangerous) drinking game. Take a shot every time you hear the word "situation." If you can make it through an entire episode, I'll be impressed.
@restless: Me too. He is a horrible human being, but he is so unintentionally funny.
And I almost feel bad for him. He is failing so hard at maintaining his "I don't care about Ronnie and Sammi, I experienced her and I can get any girl I want" attitude, it's like watching a two-legged poodle try to gum a rhino to death.
@restless: He is by far my favorite on this show with DJ Paulie Drama making a strong second place finish this week. I love the Situation's quips but more love his macho proclaimations that immediately get undermined by the sad, lonely look on his face that follows his macho statements.
Anyone who doubts that this show is intended for a 'white' audience to look down upon and deride an Italian subculture need only pay attention to the Laguna Beach-like soundtrack, which in its utter failure to convey the essence of these people, must be for the viewers' benefit alone. That soundtrack would instantly alienate the Guidi on the show and any who happened to be watching.
Oh Brian, how i love you for this. I was out to dinner last night so i missed the live blog, but i read through it this morning. So fucking classic, but the recap made my day, i love the way you break it down like a sociological lecture.
Sometimes, when watching this show i hear this really upper class British accented voice in my head saying things like "watch animals in their natural habitat...see how the males flaunt their plumage to attract the females before leading the way back to the watering hole (ie pietry dish hot tub)" like this whole thing is a demented National Geographic special.
And on that note, wanna plan a field expedition to NJ? If you can get the vaccinations all set up i will happily supply the pith helmets, khaki research gear and monocles. We could do lots of crouching in the shrubbery with vintage Moleskine notebooks. Betcha Marget Mead would be way proud of us.
@Mrs.Ataxxia: I don't think I can make it to NJ, but if you don't bring me back a T Shirt with an airbrushed palm tree that says Snooki, I will never forgive you. I wear a size small.
@Brian Moylan: I dont know if i can go alone! Good lord, what if i dont come back, or worse, what if i go and then i go native and come back fake-and-baked within an inch of my life!! Were this grand adventure to take place i think it must be done under the auspises of the buddy system and with a cyanide-pill backup plan. However, if i ever get up the gumption and/or blood alcohol level to decide that this is a workable plan, t-shirts will most definitly be forthcoming. Might i also suggest a matching set of "i *heart* The Situation" spanky pants? Cause i think that'll just take the class to a whole new level.
@Mrs.Ataxxia: So members of a subculture that you're unfamiliar with, that is nevertheless regulated by specific rituals and intricate conventions, equal "animals"? Nice.
@snugbug: Actually i was kinda thinking about the mall scene in Mean Girls where Cady compares the mall to the watering hole. Which in my head somehow replays in a British anthropologists voice. Which is besides the point, but i am sorry if i offended you, it wasn't my intent.
@Mrs.Ataxxia: Oh, no need to apologize; I'm not offended. Just a wee bit surprised--it's the myriad ethnic subcultures that make Americah's cultural DNA so cool and progressive. They inevitably trickle down (or get funneled up?) into the mainstream in no time. This process takes like, forever, in Europe, if it happens at all. I guess my initial point was that I love to see pop culture shape-shift and self-adjust at the speed of light in the US--mutatis mutandis, indeed!
@snugbug: Oh good. I agree that its the variety of sub-cultures that makes american pop culture so intreauging, and i would argue for your idea of funneling up rather than trickling down, given the way that the exposure works (ie reality TV and such), in the sense that it bubbles up out of particular locals or nodes, and is then broadcast into the national conciousness.
You left out the important information that dearest Trash Bags admitted to previously meeting and sleeping with The Situation before the show. This might be why she ragged on him for having gray hairs when the rest of the cast couldn't give an F if she left or not. [www.usmagazine.com] the show was kind of lame compared to the stellar premiere. The fact that Snooki and the Situation made out sloppily in the hot tub and then asks him to F*** me up the F****** A******, but nothing is shown of their pursuits between one another after that is vastly disappointing and reeks of MTV seemingly cleaning up the debauchery somewhat. We didn't even get a simple, "No thx Snooks, I need another Oompa Loompa hookup instead, bye" from the Sitz either.
@cpjones: Yes - and how many times did she deny this before admitting it?? What is the point of denying it, watching a clip of yourself denying it, denying it some more and repeatedly calling the other person a complete liar, and then when the attention starts to fade away from you, finally admitting it....
12/12/09
[www.anthro.ucdavis.edu]
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
Ham!
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
A world I hope never to encounter outside the comforts of my living room television.
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
Snooki: Don't you have a food you need to eat every day?
Pauly: Yeah.
Snooki: What?
Pauly: I don't know.
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
However, there is a LOT that is funny about Snooki.
12/11/09
12/11/09
It feels like MTV made a pact with Devo in the 1980's about their social theories and now one side is being forced to deliver on the terms of the bet. Ideally, "Mongoloid" would just play on a loop throughout every episode.
12/11/09
We're clearly watching de-evolution before our very eyes. This much is true.
12/11/09
12/11/09
Do you hear me Donnie and The Situation? MAKE OUT IN THE FREAKIN HOT TUB ALREADY!
sorry...
12/11/09
12/11/09
What must the midwest think of these tri-state specimens? Rare, aggressive, and marks territory with hairspray.
12/11/09
I'm just grateful that the Drakkar Noir can't be smelt through the TV.
12/11/09
Like honestly, are you getting it? You're not getting it.
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
And I almost feel bad for him. He is failing so hard at maintaining his "I don't care about Ronnie and Sammi, I experienced her and I can get any girl I want" attitude, it's like watching a two-legged poodle try to gum a rhino to death.
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
[en.wikipedia.org]
12/11/09
Anyone who doubts that this show is intended for a 'white' audience to look down upon and deride an Italian subculture need only pay attention to the Laguna Beach-like soundtrack, which in its utter failure to convey the essence of these people, must be for the viewers' benefit alone. That soundtrack would instantly alienate the Guidi on the show and any who happened to be watching.
12/11/09
Sometimes, when watching this show i hear this really upper class British accented voice in my head saying things like "watch animals in their natural habitat...see how the males flaunt their plumage to attract the females before leading the way back to the watering hole (ie pietry dish hot tub)" like this whole thing is a demented National Geographic special.
And on that note, wanna plan a field expedition to NJ? If you can get the vaccinations all set up i will happily supply the pith helmets, khaki research gear and monocles. We could do lots of crouching in the shrubbery with vintage Moleskine notebooks. Betcha Marget Mead would be way proud of us.
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
Oh. Never mind.
12/11/09