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New York, 5:09 AM
Wed Dec 9
46 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
    12/08/09

    In reply to Gossip Girl: Bonfire of the Banalities
    I love you so much, Brian. I am up for the day (+3) because I am not Serena. But I give myself +5 for not being Jenny, too. I hate her with the force of 1000 Chuck-in-Asian-pajamas rubdowns.

    I give the show -8 for not making Chuck's dad all gray and ghosty. He didn't even say "woooo!" once! I mean, if we're gonna go there - have Chuckles writhe in ennui and be followed around by his dad - let's GO there. Have him ride around in a gray ghost limo, kick a gray ghost homeless guy, be followed by a pack of gray shifty ghost lawyers. He was a mogul, mofos!
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was starred BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was unstarred
    Image of lostarchitect lostarchitect
    12/08/09

    In reply to Gossip Girl: Bonfire of the Banalities
    Ok, I don't watch this show. I do occasionally catch 10 minutes of it when my girlfriend watches. Then I can't take it anymore and leave the room. So I don't know much, here.

    That said, it seems to me that your rating system favors the most obnoxious and annoying characters on the show. I mean, that Chuck guy? Really? I want to choke him with a wooden spoon after watching him on screen for 3 minutes. And Blair? She's nearly as bad.

    So, what's your strategy here?
     Reply
    lostarchitect was starred lostarchitect was unstarred
    Image of NoelleBlue NoelleBlue
    12/08/09

    @lostarchitect: But isn't that also true of the show's fans, in terms of favorites? Chuckles and Blair are the ones I always hear about!
     Reply
    NoelleBlue was starred NoelleBlue was unstarred
    Image of HollyQE2 HollyQE2
    12/08/09

    @lostarchitect: I have to disagree. While Chuck's intermittent newfound conscience is disheartening, I would still watch The Chuck and Blair show 100 times over versus any scene involving the blank/moping faces and insipid storylines of Serena, Rufus, or Vanessa.

    I know Nate should be in that category, but he's just too pretty. And once in a while he gives those cute little looks to Dan that get my hopes up.

    P.S. Bryan, the "Serena Bonus" addition is amazing.
     Reply
    lostarchitect approved this comment HollyQE2 was starred HollyQE2 was unstarred
    Image of lostarchitect lostarchitect
    12/08/09

    @HollyQE2: I guess the thing is that I don't know the story line, so I'm only reacting to the characters themselves, sans story. And fuck, Chuck is ridiculous and annoying. Ugh, and those faces he makes... Not that Serena's not annoying, I just find her less so.
     Reply
    lostarchitect was starred lostarchitect was unstarred
    Image of Brian Moylan Brian Moylan
    12/08/09

    @lostarchitect: You find her less annoying because you are hypnotized by her boobs. It's a rookie mistake. It even happens to me once in awhile.
     Reply
    Brian Moylan was starred Brian Moylan was unstarred
    Image of BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
    12/08/09

    @Brian Moylan: Agreed. I find Chuck to be perfect in every way because I am mesmerized by his everything. Even with a side of Ghost Dad I wanted to bone him until his mysterious mother comes home.
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was starred BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was unstarred
    Image of chickachicka chickachicka
    12/08/09

    @lostarchitect: When you started with "OK, I don't watch this show," I knew your critique wouldn't mean much. Then you dissed both Chuck AND Blair and proved me right.

    Gossip Girl is all about the lesser of two evils. Spend a little more time with Vanessa and Serena, and then you'll understand. Or don't, and save yourself a lifetime of pain for having to put up with their awful, easy-to-hate-and-make-fun-of characters.
     Reply
    lostarchitect approved this comment chickachicka was starred chickachicka was unstarred
    Image of lostarchitect lostarchitect
    12/08/09

    @chickachicka: Well, yeah, the fact that I don't know what's going on is really the whole point of what I was saying, and I wasn't critiquing so much as asking, "what the hell is going on here?"

    Anyway, you're right, this show would drive me crazy if I watched it. Evidently, the characters I hated immediately are the most likable on the show! If the others are even LESS likable with more time spent viewing, there's no way I could watch without poking myself in the eyes repeatedly.

    Also, Brian might be right about the boobs.
     Reply
    lostarchitect was starred lostarchitect was unstarred
    Image of Brian Moylan Brian Moylan
    12/08/09

    @lostarchitect: But see, we love Chuck and Blair because they are awesome. And we love Serena, Vanessa, Jenny, and the rest for being so incredibly stupid that they give us something to make fun of while loving C&B Music Factory. That makes the show completely lovable, even when you hate it.
     Reply
    Brian Moylan was starred Brian Moylan was unstarred
    Image of lostarchitect lostarchitect
    12/08/09

    @Brian Moylan: Oh, well that clears things right up! Don't mind me, I'll just keep looking at the boobs.
     Reply
    lostarchitect was starred lostarchitect was unstarred
    Image of NoelleBlue NoelleBlue
    12/08/09

    In reply to Gossip Girl: Bonfire of the Banalities
    I stopped watching this show after season 1, more or less because I got lazy.

    And this recap makes that more than okay.

    Serena: has an Archie Comics character quality to her - aside from some very vague traits (cleavage, rich), they just tack on whatever lines/personality bits are convenient for the storyline. Glorious! (When viewed from afar)
     Reply
    NoelleBlue was starred NoelleBlue was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    12/08/09

    In reply to Gossip Girl: Bonfire of the Banalities
    I'd like to award last night's episode with the title of "Most Unrealistic GG Episode ever," something which has hitherto been seemingly impossible to achieve. Why? you ask. Let me count the ways.

    1) Serena knows who Barney Frank is? Sure.
    2) WTF was with everyone asking about "Nassau County"? Say it with me: "Long Island."
    3) Yes, Vanessa, you must come to the hospital at once! Even though you and Serena have never been anything close to resembling friends! And no one even likes you!
    4) And why do you insist on believing that Paul Hoffman (is that his name?) is straight? HE ISN'T.
    5) Really, Trip? You left a girl behind who was obviously going to wake up shortly and be able to tell all, even though your accident was a result of avoiding animals and not alcohol? Either "asshole" is your default mode or you are the most poorly written character ever.
    6) THAT was how Jenny and Eric ended their feud? Two seconds of "I don't want to play Frenemies anymore"? Screw that.
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of ndhapple ndhapple
    12/08/09

    @DahlELama: This is why GossipGirl is no longer on my TiVo.

    That and 'Skins' (seasons 1 and 2) showed me that someone could do a properly written and completely fun teen drama that didn't make me want to take my eyes out.
     Reply
    bess marvin, girl detective promoted this comment ndhapple was starred ndhapple was unstarred
    Image of flaxen_vixen flaxen_vixen
    12/08/09

    @DahlELama: And wolves? On Long Island? Seriously?
     Reply
    DahlELama promoted this comment flaxen_vixen was starred flaxen_vixen was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    12/08/09

    @flaxen_vixen: YES. Also, the conversation between Rufus and the co-op chick. Also, pretending that Rufus would've gone to hit up the co-op chick instead of lingering in the apartment to make Lily talk about the letter. UGH, so much crappiness!
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of bess marvin, girl detective bess marvin, girl detective
    12/08/09

    @ndhapple: skins seasons 1 & 2 is excellent, season 3 not so much.
     Reply
    bess marvin, girl detective was starred bess marvin, girl detective was unstarred
    Image of pony_express pony_express
    12/08/09

    @DahlELama: And who, who in their RIGHT MIND would choose milksoppy, ineffectual, asexual Trip over Nate?? Even with all the mascara and blush Chase Crawford is wearing on the show, he still emits more testosterone than that other character ever could-- even if you sprayed him down with pheromones and made him wear plaid flannel. Trip gives me the skeeves...
     Reply
    DahlELama promoted this comment pony_express was starred pony_express was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    12/08/09

    @pony_express: Right?? I am loving Nate lately; it's like Chace Crawford took an acting workshop on the Internet. Trip looks like someone who should be on So You Think You Can Dance.
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
    12/08/09

    @DahlELama: Yeah, I loved how Trip thought no one would know there was anyone besides Serena in the car. There's only a bloody, DNA-filled head-crack in the windshield on the passenger side.
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was starred BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was unstarred
    Image of TriedandTrue TriedandTrue
    12/07/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    I watched this show in some part for FOUR TIMES this weekend. I seriously am in love with this show. The part when Vinny gets pink eye and Ronnie says it is because the "fat chick let something go" as he was sliding between her legs was priceless.
     Reply
    TriedandTrue was starred TriedandTrue was unstarred
    Image of LaTerrorista LaTerrorista
    12/05/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    I read this first, then watched the show. I'm reading this again and dying of laughter. Thank you thank you thank you.
     Reply
    LaTerrorista was starred LaTerrorista was unstarred
    Image of manchops manchops
    12/05/09

    In reply to Glee: Smile, Though Your Heart Is Breaking
    Ummm...Puck in blue pajamas? Something stirred deep inside of me.
     Reply
    manchops was starred manchops was unstarred
    Image of Clare Clare
    12/05/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    If there was a Guido equivalent of a fag hag, it would be Snooki.

    I read this to my mom and we cried laughing.
     Reply
    Clare was starred Clare was unstarred
    Image of She_of_the_Socks She_of_the_Socks
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    I must ask because this is now the second time I've read / heard this term: What is T?
     Reply
    She_of_the_Socks was starred She_of_the_Socks was unstarred
    Image of LaTerrorista LaTerrorista
    12/04/09

    @She_of_the_Socks: testosterone, steroids, "juice."
     Reply
    LaTerrorista was starred LaTerrorista was unstarred
    Image of She_of_the_Socks She_of_the_Socks
    12/04/09

    @LaTerrorista: Ah, thank you! This has helped me ascertain which people I can feel justified avoiding.
     Reply
    She_of_the_Socks was starred She_of_the_Socks was unstarred
    Image of adiam7 adiam7
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    Brian this is awesome, but how in the hell you did it I do not know. It would take me 5,000 words to recap the first 10 minutes. I took Nyquil and was out at 11 but I was able to watch rest tonight because last night with my last bit of strength and consciousness I pressed record.

    My fave quotes from the last hour:

    I was going to Jerry Springer her ass

    It only takes 9 lbs of pressure to break a nose

    Don't let the spike hair fool you

    The Situation tells me that we might have a situation

    I am sorry sweetheart, I apologize for this broad right here
     Reply
    adiam7 was starred adiam7 was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @adiam7: Don't forget Angie Jolie Trash-Balls' "I'm a c*ckblocker, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that! If you're a whore, you deserve to be abused!"
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of adiam7 adiam7
    12/04/09

    @snugbug: The delusion of these broads mixed with the self-awereness of the guys is such a rare mix. I am really mad at MTV now for not doing that Staten Island show
     Reply
    adiam7 was starred adiam7 was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    I just got through this on DVR.. Having not watched MTV in over 10 years, I'm blown away by the delicious excellence of this show.

    Kudos to Brian for a fab recap, and extra brownie points for dubbing Sammy "Sweatheart" a "Helen of Troy" type..

    This epic trash-fest totally reminded me of the narrative arc of the Iliad: Men fight over women; women are capricious and disloyal; everyone suffers from hubris; no one ever SHUTS UP.

    I'm hooked!
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of heywhat heywhat
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    I almost died when I saw the trash bags. Seriously? She didn't have a duffel bag or gym bag? Hell, even a back pack or one of those mesh laundry hamper bags would have been better. Snookie is either an actress or mentally unstable drunk. Either way she's entertaining.

    They have only been in the house for like 2 days, and I wouldn't go in that hot tub without wearing anything less than a full hazmat suit.
     Reply
    heywhat was starred heywhat was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @heywhat: ..Or as DJ Pauly (was it him? The guy who spends "30 minutes every day" gelling his hair into shape) put it so sensibly: "Don't you have ANY relatives you can borrow a suitcase from?"
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of adiam7 adiam7
    12/04/09

    @snugbug: It was what america was thinking
     Reply
    adiam7 was starred adiam7 was unstarred
    Image of thatgirlinnewyork thatgirlinnewyork
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    every time i see a pic of snooki, i'm reminded of her back fat rolls (seen when she plunged into the hot tub). is this what happens when the implants take up too much space on a barrel-shaped woman?
     Reply
    thatgirlinnewyork was starred thatgirlinnewyork was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @thatgirlinnewyork: Well, in poor Snooki's defense, she's like 4 feet 2, so even one extra helping of mani-COTTEH probably translates into back fat on her wee frame.
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of pollyannacowgirl pollyannacowgirl
    12/04/09

    @snugbug: The Connecticut I-A's I know pronounce it "man-uh-GAWT")
     Reply
    snugbug promoted this comment pollyannacowgirl was starred pollyannacowgirl was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @pollyannacowgirl: OMG, perfect transliteration of the correct Jerze pronunciation of "manicotti." I'm laughing!
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of thatgirlinnewyork thatgirlinnewyork
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    thanks for the memories, brian! please also add "juiced up" to the lexicon, as in snookie insists on finding a "juiced up guido". i can only think this is about the "protein" drinks.
     Reply
    thatgirlinnewyork was starred thatgirlinnewyork was unstarred
    Image of Helio Helio
    12/04/09

    @thatgirlinnewyork: I heard Juice Head a few times, and I was really trying to figure this one out using context clues. My first guess was that it meant the girls really like dudes who take steroids but that would also mean the ladies like shrunken balls. Then I went to urbandictionary, and one of the definitions was someone who gets really drunk in public places and said dumb shit before passing out/blacking out. My dream man!
     Reply
    Helio was starred Helio was unstarred
    Image of femputer femputer
    12/04/09

    @thatgirlinnewyork: oh, how quaint! Juiced up means roided.

    I've never heard any girl actually admit she was looking for someone on the nut-shrinking regimen, but there you go.
     Reply
    femputer was starred femputer was unstarred
    Image of Brian Moylan Brian Moylan
    12/04/09

    @thatgirlinnewyork: YES! How could I have forgotten. Next week.
     Reply
    Brian Moylan was starred Brian Moylan was unstarred
    Image of thatgirlinnewyork thatgirlinnewyork
    12/05/09

    @femputer: @Helio: i said "protein" to be kind...roids are a given, and kind of explains the exceptional level of stupidity espoused by the male household members. the wimmins? perhaps it's the implants and the years inhaling nail tip solvents in cheap korean salons (not to denigrate our fine korean sisters out there--hats off for the entrepreneurial spirit!).
     Reply
    thatgirlinnewyork was starred thatgirlinnewyork was unstarred
    Image of thatgirlinnewyork thatgirlinnewyork
    12/05/09

    @femputer: @Helio: i think there is an explanation somewhere on the parallel between "juiced" as "drunk" and "roided"-- you get attention from a limp guy who can't deliver at evening's end. takes all the pressure off one's pouf maintenance and waxing habits (to say nothing of the nail tips).
     Reply
    thatgirlinnewyork was starred thatgirlinnewyork was unstarred
    Image of Conchie Birdie Conchie Birdie
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    Trash Bags.
     Reply
    Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred
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