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New York, 6:44 PM
Sun Dec 20
10 posts in the last 24 hours
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12/19/09
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12/18/09
Also, I'm losing all Guido-driven respect for Ronnie. This whole girlfriend/decade long marriage thing he has going on with Quizno's Sammi is just a show killer. The emoting, the crying, the Dawson's Creek angst beyond all reason...yeah, fucking awful. He was marginally funny when he berated the other dudes for having no game and relatively comfortable in his steroid-y ability to "pull" all unsuspecting guidettes, despite atrocious dance floor spazz. I'm almost positive he'd be a better wingman than either Paulie D. Winkledink and The Catastrophe. (And him in a towel...uh, fuck, was hot.) So I'm team, Ronnie/Sammi-Applebee's Slider...divorce. And somebody better look for Vinnie and make sure that dude didn't drown or something.
I'm predicting Snooki/Vinnie hook up! Why? Why not? That little event should get them both about eight minutes airtime. (Never want to see Snooki doing munchkin whore-flips again.)
12/18/09
I just don't understand how in just a few short days, they have lost a roommate, been in two fist fights, gotten drunk countless times, had two pukers, been late to work twice (Even though they live DIRECTLY ABOVE the store), started a fire, had a soak in the hot tub 5-6 times, and one couple has already fallen in love. How can all this happen so quickly!?
12/18/09
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"Yeah, you wanna hang out?"
"You're not gonna waste my time?"
"No, I don't fuck around, I get right down to business."
"Let's smoosh."
12/18/09
12/18/09
Is it bad that I'm starting to sympathize with some of these people? Ack!
12/18/09
She was a hater for sure. But she was right when she told her friend, "You don't want to do this. Believe me." I've had friends do this to me, and while I'm pissed at them at the moment, I appreciate that they care enough to save me from drunkenly hooking up with some gross dude.
12/18/09
Then again, I would never be in that sitch in the first place, so maybe she should think about reevaluating her life choices. When and why did she end up hanging out with that pseduo-guidette girl? Why did she sign a waiver to be seen with these clowns on national tv? What thought process takes you from "let's do shots" to "I'm going to drive home"?
I don't think she was busted, she was just too pasty for them. And yeah, it was nice of her to save her friend, but sometimes friends don't want to be saved.
I also found it extremely rude of her to dump all over that glorious sexxytime jacuzzi. That thing is magical! Like Sex Panther on 'roids or something!
12/18/09
She seemed totally into the idea of hanging out at first...remember, they went and sought out the guys after being ditched. Still not even sure how they found the place, since the guys even seemed confused about that. So she had plenty of time to save her friend in between getting ditched and stalking them/entering their house uninvited. She didn't seem to have a problem with that at all...certainly didn't look like her friend was twisting her arm. If that was the case, I'd be sympathetic to her bitchiness.
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12/19/09
I think The Situation's tactical mistake was to address her directly when she walked into the bedroom, and asked her to calm down. The Situation should have kept his dialogue purely to the girl in front of him. By arguing with her friend, he made her friend the authority on whether the hookup would take place or not.
12/18/09
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Or maybe not, these people all look alike to me.
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Ravers do not beat up the beat.
12/18/09
The fist pump...only the Jersey ravers did that one.
12/18/09
So get down to business and put it in the equation, kid! Don't fuck around and waste my time or I'll make you LOVE the situation."
Then, Ms White should point a massive Glock at the camera, and pull the trigger. (The safety will be on.) After the scary click, she should blow a kiss to the camera and whisper "Booyah, Snookie!"
12/18/09
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12/18/09
But I'm pretty sure it's spelled "Snooki." At least that's what I think it said on the butt area of that trashtastic long t-shirt she had made up for herself.
12/18/09
Also, don't forget this:
- Falling in love: Subject to continual redefinition. While roaming males find the act repugnant, at various points they too may find themselves rendered vulnerable by the talents of the "wife-worthy" guidette (whose duty it is to cook and clean). Female participants can be identified by various colors of booty shorts, reading "Property of [Male]."
12/18/09
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I bet Frankie Knuckles wouldn't get within a hundred miles of these people, name not withstanding.
"Shitty Dance Music" is currently an acceptable replacement word.
12/18/09
12/18/09
Do you find it at all odd that most people could name at least a few different types of hip-hop or rock'n'roll, but if it's got a 4/4 beat it's always "techno?"
I'd imagine people from Detroit and Berlin get stabby when they hear that kind of thing.
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You know...useful stuff
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Newports: The cigarette of choice for fresh-looking gym-goers.
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