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New York, 7:41 AM
Mon Dec 7
15 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of LaTerrorista LaTerrorista
    12/05/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    I read this first, then watched the show. I'm reading this again and dying of laughter. Thank you thank you thank you.
     Reply
    LaTerrorista was starred LaTerrorista was unstarred
    Image of manchops manchops
    12/05/09

    In reply to Glee: Smile, Though Your Heart Is Breaking
    Ummm...Puck in blue pajamas? Something stirred deep inside of me.
     Reply
    manchops was starred manchops was unstarred
    Image of Clare Clare
    12/05/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    If there was a Guido equivalent of a fag hag, it would be Snooki.

    I read this to my mom and we cried laughing.
     Reply
    Clare was starred Clare was unstarred
    Image of She_of_the_Socks She_of_the_Socks
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    I must ask because this is now the second time I've read / heard this term: What is T?
     Reply
    She_of_the_Socks was starred She_of_the_Socks was unstarred
    Image of LaTerrorista LaTerrorista
    12/04/09

    @She_of_the_Socks: testosterone, steroids, "juice."
     Reply
    LaTerrorista was starred LaTerrorista was unstarred
    Image of She_of_the_Socks She_of_the_Socks
    12/04/09

    @LaTerrorista: Ah, thank you! This has helped me ascertain which people I can feel justified avoiding.
     Reply
    She_of_the_Socks was starred She_of_the_Socks was unstarred
    Image of adiam7 adiam7
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    Brian this is awesome, but how in the hell you did it I do not know. It would take me 5,000 words to recap the first 10 minutes. I took Nyquil and was out at 11 but I was able to watch rest tonight because last night with my last bit of strength and consciousness I pressed record.

    My fave quotes from the last hour:

    I was going to Jerry Springer her ass

    It only takes 9 lbs of pressure to break a nose

    Don't let the spike hair fool you

    The Situation tells me that we might have a situation

    I am sorry sweetheart, I apologize for this broad right here
     Reply
    adiam7 was starred adiam7 was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @adiam7: Don't forget Angie Jolie Trash-Balls' "I'm a c*ckblocker, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that! If you're a whore, you deserve to be abused!"
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of adiam7 adiam7
    12/04/09

    @snugbug: The delusion of these broads mixed with the self-awereness of the guys is such a rare mix. I am really mad at MTV now for not doing that Staten Island show
     Reply
    adiam7 was starred adiam7 was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    I just got through this on DVR.. Having not watched MTV in over 10 years, I'm blown away by the delicious excellence of this show.

    Kudos to Brian for a fab recap, and extra brownie points for dubbing Sammy "Sweatheart" a "Helen of Troy" type..

    This epic trash-fest totally reminded me of the narrative arc of the Iliad: Men fight over women; women are capricious and disloyal; everyone suffers from hubris; no one ever SHUTS UP.

    I'm hooked!
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of heywhat heywhat
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    I almost died when I saw the trash bags. Seriously? She didn't have a duffel bag or gym bag? Hell, even a back pack or one of those mesh laundry hamper bags would have been better. Snookie is either an actress or mentally unstable drunk. Either way she's entertaining.

    They have only been in the house for like 2 days, and I wouldn't go in that hot tub without wearing anything less than a full hazmat suit.
     Reply
    heywhat was starred heywhat was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @heywhat: ..Or as DJ Pauly (was it him? The guy who spends "30 minutes every day" gelling his hair into shape) put it so sensibly: "Don't you have ANY relatives you can borrow a suitcase from?"
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of adiam7 adiam7
    12/04/09

    @snugbug: It was what america was thinking
     Reply
    adiam7 was starred adiam7 was unstarred
    Image of thatgirlinnewyork thatgirlinnewyork
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    every time i see a pic of snooki, i'm reminded of her back fat rolls (seen when she plunged into the hot tub). is this what happens when the implants take up too much space on a barrel-shaped woman?
     Reply
    thatgirlinnewyork was starred thatgirlinnewyork was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @thatgirlinnewyork: Well, in poor Snooki's defense, she's like 4 feet 2, so even one extra helping of mani-COTTEH probably translates into back fat on her wee frame.
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of pollyannacowgirl pollyannacowgirl
    12/04/09

    @snugbug: The Connecticut I-A's I know pronounce it "man-uh-GAWT")
     Reply
    snugbug promoted this comment pollyannacowgirl was starred pollyannacowgirl was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @pollyannacowgirl: OMG, perfect transliteration of the correct Jerze pronunciation of "manicotti." I'm laughing!
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of thatgirlinnewyork thatgirlinnewyork
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    thanks for the memories, brian! please also add "juiced up" to the lexicon, as in snookie insists on finding a "juiced up guido". i can only think this is about the "protein" drinks.
     Reply
    thatgirlinnewyork was starred thatgirlinnewyork was unstarred
    Image of Helio Helio
    12/04/09

    @thatgirlinnewyork: I heard Juice Head a few times, and I was really trying to figure this one out using context clues. My first guess was that it meant the girls really like dudes who take steroids but that would also mean the ladies like shrunken balls. Then I went to urbandictionary, and one of the definitions was someone who gets really drunk in public places and said dumb shit before passing out/blacking out. My dream man!
     Reply
    Helio was starred Helio was unstarred
    Image of femputer femputer
    12/04/09

    @thatgirlinnewyork: oh, how quaint! Juiced up means roided.

    I've never heard any girl actually admit she was looking for someone on the nut-shrinking regimen, but there you go.
     Reply
    femputer was starred femputer was unstarred
    Image of Brian Moylan Brian Moylan
    12/04/09

    @thatgirlinnewyork: YES! How could I have forgotten. Next week.
     Reply
    Brian Moylan was starred Brian Moylan was unstarred
    Image of thatgirlinnewyork thatgirlinnewyork
    12/05/09

    @femputer: @Helio: i said "protein" to be kind...roids are a given, and kind of explains the exceptional level of stupidity espoused by the male household members. the wimmins? perhaps it's the implants and the years inhaling nail tip solvents in cheap korean salons (not to denigrate our fine korean sisters out there--hats off for the entrepreneurial spirit!).
     Reply
    thatgirlinnewyork was starred thatgirlinnewyork was unstarred
    Image of thatgirlinnewyork thatgirlinnewyork
    12/05/09

    @femputer: @Helio: i think there is an explanation somewhere on the parallel between "juiced" as "drunk" and "roided"-- you get attention from a limp guy who can't deliver at evening's end. takes all the pressure off one's pouf maintenance and waxing habits (to say nothing of the nail tips).
     Reply
    thatgirlinnewyork was starred thatgirlinnewyork was unstarred
    Image of Conchie Birdie Conchie Birdie
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    Trash Bags.
     Reply
    Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    Thanks for getting that this is a new animal in the petri dish of reality television and I see some also get that this is a movement from "reality tv" back towards documentary. A couple of the earlier MTV True Life documentaries were set on the Jersey Shore and I will bet those spawned this.

    I have said it elsewhere: I am sure that this was the reality television "rapture" last night. And all the commentors pounded it out real good.
     Reply
    belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    Thanks, Brian.

    All that was missing from your recap was SMELL-O-VISION and a free STD tutorial. Sincerely. Very few ways words could do that volcano of debauchery, ham-puke, Cadillac inspired tribal markings, hair art, and graphic t-shirts justice. But you managed it.
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of Brian Moylan Brian Moylan
    12/04/09

    @Spirit Fingers: But the real question is: Trash Bags or Blue Balls?
     Reply
    Brian Moylan was starred Brian Moylan was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    12/04/09

    @Brian Moylan: I'm going with Trash Bags, because, well, and I'm actually siding with Cadillac-flank guido guy here, it was so baffling and kooky-as-catshit that she would enter a house and drop a trash bag full of worldly possessions (i.e. sluttantastical clothing) in the living room like, "I'm here bitches, fuck the PRADA, mah HEFTY is fetch!"

    Such mighty delusions. Mocking will be fun.
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of marin79 marin79
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    If the "Situation" was smart (yes, I know), he'd be trademarking that name pronto.
     Reply
    marin79 was starred marin79 was unstarred
    Image of Meangirl.is.for.the.Horde Meangirl.is.for.the.Horde
    12/04/09

    @marin79: Thank you MTV for providing us with a guy whose nicklame is even better then "The Miz".
     Reply
    marin79 promoted this comment Meangirl.is.for.the.Horde was starred Meangirl.is.for.the.Horde was unstarred
    Image of crookedE crookedE
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    Fantastic, Brian. We should title this dissertation: "Family, Friends, Tanning, Gel, Everything: Studies of the Mid-Atlantic Shore Guido."
     Reply
    crookedE was starred crookedE was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    12/04/09

    In reply to Jersey Shore: A Field Study
    Paging Wolf Blitzer: the Situation Room needs more abs.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
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