The appropriate response to Girls, a television program about whiteness, Twitter, and the irreducible sexual magnetism of abusive men, is to drown your mobile phone in the bathtub. But you need to call your mother, and today is the 21st anniversary of Nirvana signing to Geffen, so here's a recap.
The appropriate response to Girls, a television program about pretty young White Nationalists seeking abortions and love in the Big City, is silence. But we are in the noise business, and today is the 21st anniversary of the death of Johnny Thunders, so here is a recap.
Today is Ian MacKaye's 50th birthday so I guess it's as good a time as any to realize you hate young people. Girls is a television program about the children of wealthy famous people and shitty music and Facebook and how hard it is to know who you are and Thought Catalog and sexually transmitted diseases and the…
Tracie Potochnik has recapped America's Next Top Model for Television Without Pity since its third cycle started airing eight years ago. Over the years, she announced recently, she has written more than 1,350,000 words on the show. That's more than two War and Peaces, but these volumes of work don't so much as have…
During the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we've seen our eight subjects in their natural habitat in New Jersey, in their adopted homes of Miami and Florence, but never have we seen them actually interact with, you know, nature. There is a reason for that.
Something serious and sad is threatening the greatest sociological experiment of our time: couples. Yes, it seems like everyone is paired up and Snooki is even expecting Jersey Shore's first virgin birth. Haha. Just kidding. Snooki's no virgin. And Situation got Vinny pregnant when he touched the smush bed anyway.…
Finally, the members of the greatest sociological experiment of our time forage for their own food, and they promptly caught crabs. No, the actual crustaceans. They did not contract a horrible case of pubic lice, though they did make lots of jokes about it. The guidos never change.
Yes the major event of the most important sociological experiment of our time had to do with cake. Who ate the cake? Remember when our subjects used to crawl in the hot tub and vomit on themselves?
Last night was the final installment of the continuously protracted Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion special. But this time it wasn't really about all the ladies. No, it was about our star. It was about Kim Richards.
The favorite food of many people who enjoy the greatest sociological experiment of our time is, of course, a meatball sandwich. We love when Snooki and Deena get together, even if what they're doing is stupid, immature, and somewhat immoral.
If the Republican debates are the second greatest televised spectacle about matters that are only slightly abutting reality, then the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion specials are the first. Here is a ranking of how each woman fared in last night's fiasco.
It has finally happened, Snooki's body is rebelling against her. Yes, the greatest sociological experiment of our time took a turn for the biological and now Snooki is voiding her bowels wherever she possibly can.
Last night when fortifying myself for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion, I realized it had a lot in common with that other great reality show of this year: the Republican Debates. Yes, there will be a million of them, everyone in attendance is ridiculous, nothing will get decided, and there will be a lot…
What is happening with the greatest sociological experiment of our time? Everyone is getting along. Sammi and Ronnie aren't fighting. The Situation isn't being a dick. Everyone is getting along. It's so...so...boring.
Mayor Bloomberg's having a bad week, between the virulently anti-Muslim video starring his police commissioner and the rape charges against his police commissioner's son. So look, Mayor Mike: if you want to quit, you can come work for us writing Gossip Girl recaps.
As the mist clears on the glen, the great city of Brigadoon Hills once again disappears beyond the horizon to disappear for yet another interval. But before that can happen it left us with a wedding, the gift of true love, a wake, and the tearless grieving of a host of widows.
Oh the harm that can befall a guidette during the greatest sociological experiment of our time. Sure she can't be sullied by reputation, but there are still horrible fates than can befall her, like the intractable tangle of her weave. And that was just the start of last night's disasters.
Mr. Moylan did his part and offered up his insightful observations about last weekend's NFL games and, in turn, I have done the same for those haunting temptresses from RHOBH. I hope you find my critiques helpful in your continued enjoyment of this reality show, which I watched for the first time ever last night. If…
Last night during the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we had to deal with the most threatening psychological illness of our time: anxiety. Yes, Vinny, of the carefree manner and enormous schlong, was dealing with a crippling case of ennui.
A long time ago, in a kingdom far far away, there lived a pretty princess named Kim. Princess Kim was the most beautiful rich and famous girl in the whole Magic Kindgom. But one day, a living mouse took away everything she had and left her completely ruined. Come, children. Listen to the sad, sad story of Princess…
