The Way We Live Now: Optimagically. We choose to believe that good times are ahead despite plain evidence to the contrary. As long as someone somewhere can bail someone else out, it's luxury condos and Bergdorf Goodman for us.
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Luxury condos will not be built directly behind the Hollywood sign. Two years ago a developer wanted $22 million to ruin the LA icon. Today, because the market crashed, a conservation group got an option for $12 million. [AP]
The Way We Live Now: Blaming the victim. People, stop! It's crazy! We know you're angry about your unemployment and poverty and endless coupon-clipping. But golf-happy bankers are not the enemy!
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The Way We Live Now: Unfulfilled. We can't enjoy our bonus check. We can't scam others. We're finally building casinos when nobody has the money to gamble. Worst of all, we may never know the taste of hot nuts again.
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The Way We Live Now: recalibrating our responsibilities. In tough times, we can't be expected to support certain causes as effusively as we once did. Such causes include, but are not limited to: Colleges, mortgage payments, and the poors.
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The Way We Live Now: enamored with strategies doomed to backfire. College? Big waste of money. Taxing the rich? You're punishing the best and brightest. When will the unemployed just start working harder, for money?
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The Way We Live Now: Like a smooth criminal. Well, "smooth" is not quite the right word. Desperate? Yes. And occasionally inept. There are no banks left to rob. There's no bull market left to milk!
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The Way We Live Now: Piling tragedy atop tragedy, in a towering tree of tragedy. It is not enough that the underclass exists; they must be made to suffer above and beyond their already harsh circumstances. Just like the overclass!
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The Way We Live Now: bicycling towards oblivion. Toyota's given up on cars. The young lady winking at you's a professional gold digger. And everyone who can't run fast enough to keep their job is getting whipped into submission.
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The Way We Live Now: Falling apart. Here are the things we currently lack: food, health care, and food, as well as money. What we do have, though, is our eye on the British. And we don't like their looks.
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The Way We Live Now: Singin' those class war blues. In this crazy world of haves and have-nots, could one man with a guitar change things with the power of a song? Fuck no. Come on. Great PR angle, though.
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It'd appear that Apple has a very, very strict no-call-no-show policy: three times, and you're done. A Genius Bar employee volunteering with an NGO emailed his whereabouts, but it wasn't enough.
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The Way We Live Now: Self-pityingly. College freshmen are the recession's littlest victims. China is a bully. Our house is cold. And trying to make it in New York is worse than the Holocaust.
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The Way We Live Now: Cursing the minimum wage laws. Curse you, minimum wage! Were it not for your harsh dictates, maybe we'd still have that part-time poverty-maintaining job down at the canning plant. Now all we have is Cash4Gold.
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The Way We Live Now: Good, in bad places. Haiti: ballin. Broke students: ballin. Jerks: ballin. And guess who is not ballin? That's right, "the middle class." And glassmakers.
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The Way We Live Now: Fleeing the crumbling aftermath of a disaster-stricken hellscape. Having taken in the stark, hopeless, post-apocalyptic nature of their once-thriving home, citizens are getting out however they can. (Manhattanites, we mean.)
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According to estimates and figures the Wall Street Journalhas dug up, anyway. They quote a man defending the payouts and using the textbook banker bonus defence.
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The Way We Live Now: Being mean. On purpose! The good thing about being mean is that is is fun to make others feel your pain. Homeless shantytown? Bulldoze it! Rich bankers? Tax em! Church money? Steal it! Whee.
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The Way We Live Now: Putting things in perspective. It works like this: we think our lives are fucked because of the recession. Then we contemplate Haiti's circumstances. A few minutes later we're like, whatever, it still sucks here, too.
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The Way We Live Now: Just wandering on up to the front counter of Equinox gym thinking everything is fine. Well it's not fine. It's far from fine. Your money's gone. Your jobs are gone. Your abs are gone.
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