The Way We Live Now: with a long tail. Scrape together enough pennies from enough wretched poor people and before you know it, you're riding high! The poor were already poor. A little poorer won't hurt. Everyone wins!
The Way We Live Now: paying later. Down the road our situation will more favorably facilitate the repayment of loans taken on credit that we cannot currently afford. We have faith! Faith is American! We won't be broke—later!
According to a new Deloitte "Ethics & Workplace Survey", 1/3 of working Americans say they're totally going to look for a new job once this recession is over. Because they don't trust their current employers anymore. More work for you!
The Way We Live Now: taxing and spending, or perhaps doing the opposite. We're almost certain that some combination of tax increases or cuts and concomitant spending increases or cuts will help our paralyzed economy. We're not stupid.
The Way We Live Now: charging towards every incentive, negative or not. Survival is the bottom line. Drug sales? Yes! Stealing from neighbors? Yes! Good credit? Bah! Life is but a doll's carcass, full of dust.
The Way We Live Now: with uncertainty. The only thing we know is that we don't know what we may or may not know. Who knows? Maybe this thing will blow over. In the meantime, you're fired. (And evicted).
The Way We Live Now: for the bank. Whereas formerly we only ordered the financial aspects of our lives with an eye towards impressing bankers, now we do everything to impress bankers. They're so influential!
The Way We Live Now: grasping for the worst case scenario. We can't help it. Comparing our own situation to the Great Depression helps us to maintain the illusion that it can't get any worse. Simultaneously, we sink deeper. Deeper.
The Way We Live Now: grabbing opportunities so tightly our fingers bleed, for they may be our last chance. Diamonds! China! Government jobs! Cozying up to the rich! Save me, JP Morgan! Save us all!
The Way We Live Now: day to day. Week to week. Paycheck to paycheck. Hand to hand. From sea to shining sea, let us all say a prayer for our unemployed, suffering fellow Americans. The CEOs among them, at least.
The Way We Live Now: differently. Because things are different! Including paradigms. You can no longer judge the future based on past performance. Yes, bad things happened before. But in the future, the sky's the limit. Technology is magic.
The Way We Live Now: gracefully submitting to our new overlords. There's no use trying to fight it any longer. As our jobs disappear, our investors flee, and our populace falls victim to scams, one thing is clear: Canada rules.
The Way We Live Now: we're not quite sure. On the edge? Teetering? Pulling back? Rushing ahead? Set to fold? Broke and busted? On the mend? Opinions differ. Except, we know it's bad. Definitely bad.
The Way We Live Now: In public. Public offerings, that is—initial ones! Are you "in" on the latest IPO, or are you twiddling your thumbs, letting inflation eat your precious nest egg, to death! Lively up yourself!
The Way We Live Now: plumbing the bubble-less depths of despair. Some people get private islands, other people don't even get an orphanage. But nobody will be getting mail on Saturday. So equality lives.
The Way We Live Now: puttering out. Winding down. Losing steam. The wind is leaving our sails, economically. We can't buy. We can't sell. We can't help you, you can't help us. Let's call the whole thing off.
The Way We Live Now: totally misunderstanding the situation. It says here that some of you youngsters remain optimistic about your chances out there? Allow us to correct your mistaken idealistic perceptions.
The Way We Live Now: Ah, fuck, what happened to the stock market?
The Way We Live Now: putting our faith in pure voodoo. We actually have no idea if these "regulations" and "cutbacks" and "painful reactions to a financial crisis" will actually "help" at all. But hey, see what sticks, right?
The Way We Live Now: expanding our horizons. This economy won't get better any time soon. It's time we start looking for new, horrific opportunities. Immigrant farmworker? Bedbug lawyer? Soda tax-er? It's all "on the table." (Table not included).
