Hi, whores. If it is or about to be rush week at your school, you've no doubt received upwards of 9,000 freaking annoying emails from your sorority's recruitment chair lately, some of which are rude, like this one extolling the virtues of Spanx posted to Jezebel this morning. We would like to read them.

In this time of war, the US Marine Corps is ready to do whatever it takes to meet its recruitment levels, and that includes teaching black people not to be so darn scared of the water. In this ad that aired during the NBA Finals last week, the Marines send a simple, straightforward message: "Hey, black people. We…