Blodget, whose career as an analyst ended in 2003 with a $4 million SEC fine and a lifetime ban from the securities trade after then-Attorney General Spitzer publicized e-mails showing that he knew the stocks he was promoting for Merrill were worthless, asked Spitzer to sit down for an online Q-and-A to talk about Wall Street, redemption, and old times.

The two men got back on their feet by doing almost precisely the same thing: Writing for Slate and leveraging the honesty that only people who have nothing left to lose can afford.

It's a fascinating and good-natured conversation between two guys whose public humiliations have reduced their egos to manageable proportions (for now, at least). A smiling Spitzer tells Blodget: "It was never personal for me."

The video is chopped up into segments for Yahoo!'s TechTicker site. Start here.

• Wise Money Management: Your settlement with the Justice Department left you with only $2.5 million to live on—a mighty blow for a 68 year-old woman with little earning power left. Have no fear! With a little skill, you should be able to survive your remaining days without going hungry. Even at a modest 4% rate of return, this principal invested wisely would earn you $100,000 per year. You'll find that a human being can survive on this modest stipend. You're being forced to sell your posh penthouse; that's actually good! Check out Craigslist for cheaper rentals. You can find a roommate there, too. Your hair salon doesn't want your business any more, which will help you save on grooming costs. Try Head & Shoulders. Above all, be sure to invest your money under a different name. Lest something "happen" to it.
• Resurrecting Your Reputation: You should just forget this one. There's no point stressing yourself about it. You'll be despised by a large portion of the public for years. But you can slowly develop enough distance from the fraud to, at least, allow yourself to walk the streets without immediate fear of maiming.
  You haven't started off on the right foot, though. Your post-sentencing statement about being "betrayed and confused" by Bernie's fraud: come on. Betrayed and confused by math, maybe! Didn't you work at his firm? Ha. This tactic will probably fail. Better to downplay the part about you not having any idea what was going on, and play up the meager restitution to the fraud's victims that you plan to make your life's work! You won't be able to make a speck of a dent in the total amount owed, of course. But by making it clear that you will pay back the token amount that you can, it will also make it easier for you to...
• Get a Job: A real job, lady. MTA conductor. Shoe salesperson. Wal-Mart greeter. Well, maybe not a job that necessitates direct contact with the public; could be dangerous. But a job, nonetheless, where you can be photographed—preferably dirty, and sweating—to show the world that you are paying some penance for this colossal crime. You only have to work a few days a week. Then you tithe a percentage of your earning into a fund for victims. A large percentage. 100%, for example! And really, what else do you have to do with your time? It's a winning idea all around. You could even sell paintings, like some serial killers do. Kitsch appeal and all that.
• Move: Don't just move out of your luxury apartment. Don't just move out Manhattan. Don't just move out of New York. Don't just move out of America. Move out of the Western world. Move somewhere like Botswana, or Nepal, or Suriname, where the Madoff scam is not likely to be a topic of discussion for a long period of time. For at least a decade. Get forgotten. Get a haircut. By the time you come back to America (isolated Western or Southern states only) your face won't be branded into the memories of millions of haters quite so distinctly. And then, finally, you can...
• Do Something Good: Habitat for Humanity. Look what it did for Jimmy Carter. Or feeding the homeless in a soup kitchen, while wearing a hairnet. Great photo-op. Do this for the remainder of your years. And do it well. And when you die, give the rest of your money to the victims of the fraud. And maybe, just maybe, your soul will have a chance.

Her husband, who worked at Lehman Bros, pleaded guilty to insider trading; Nina was not charged with doing anything wrong. Still, Brunswick was not too enthusiastic about touting her "expertise" to its (probably very, very mad) clients any more, understandably. Now she's landed at humongo communications conglomerate Edelman (where I also hope to land after my inevitable fall from grace!) and they're "delighted" to have her. This proves that redemption exists. Get your PR on, Nina. We're not mad at ya.

[PRNewser. Pic and bonus dramatic narrative: Times UK]

SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" IT'S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU'RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE'S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I'M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I'M SURE THERE'S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS... THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME!

This is, in all sincerity, the greatest thing that Kanye West has ever written. We stand with you on your path to not-bitch-acting, Kanye. If you want to be an intern one day, just let us know. [Kanye's Blog. Pic via]

"Bitch t- -s, man boobs, breast-chesticles is what they're called on the street. Gynecomastia is the scientific name. No matter what you call it, I [had] it," Clark, who was "Nitro" on the smash reality series, reveals in his memoir, "Gladiator: A True Story of 'Roids, Rage and Redemption," out next month. "I hate[d] taking off my shirt. For photo shoots, [I'd] wet my nipple with spit . . . [to] look firm instead of hanging down."

This is the first book that I want to read in the new year, so if you have a copy, please email me. It has the Hollywood angle, the Man vs. Self theme, and the power of redemption. Plus, the part where Nitro explains to a woman, "My b- - -s never really regained their size. They're kind of shriveled." The written word survives! [P6; pic via]

Consider the man's history. Starting out as nothing more than a dude with a ridiculous hat, he worked his way up through the gossip muck to the top ranks of the New York Post. He had his own column called "Nightcrawler" for a time, and was a regular contributor to Page Six. He was living the life that the young man who first put on the stupid hat dreamed of living.

Then, of course, he tried to extort Burkle, and got publicly scandalized and tossed aside by the Post. He's quietly made his way back into the media with various projects, but nothing as high-profile since. And then last week some random guy decided to publicly release a (purported) tape of him having sex with JPS' wife. Damn.

People can bounce back from most scandals. In time, even the "Payola Six" affair—sensational though it was—would have receded into history. But JPS has never been able to bounce back, because his ongoing lawsuits and, now, alleged cuckolding cause the original damage to his reputation to keep getting rehashed.

So here's our gentle advice, JPS: the sympathy of the world has now, excruciatingly, returned to your side. Use it. Drop all of your various lawsuits against everyone involved in the Burkle mess—they'll ultimately do nothing but drain your bank account. Hold your head high, admit some wrongdoing in the past, and forge ahead. Disgrace is almost a foreign concept in the gossip world; schadenfreude does not run deep enough for people to say you deserved all of this. With an extended moment of grotesquely poor judgment and a run of very, very bad luck, most anyone in the New York media could be in your shoes right now. So get out there and make it, JPS—for all of us!

Once King placed a liverspotted hand upon the party-end of the glorious mullet before him, pulled the hunter's weary head towards his welcoming, sunken chest, and gently whispered through the windchimes dangling from the apologetic guest's ear, "Everything's going to be OK. Now tell me who you are and why you're here? Some bad thing you did?," the healing process was underway. Soon, Dog would be explaining to a rapt America that a poor vocabulary was at least party to blame for the ugly incident, a trivial problem that's easy enough to correct: once better educated, his angry brain should have a much more varied selection of hurtful words to choose from, minimizing his reliance on any one slur.

• Larry King Live [CNN.com]
• Previously: A Sing-Along Racist Tirade With Dog The Bounty Hunter [Defamer]

Rightly realizing that the show's audience probably has no idea about the extent of their guest host's online popularity, Whoopi invited them to cringe at the unrelenting string of gaffes that still have a sweat-slicked Holly Hunter awaking from fitful sleep, screaming, "Why can't you fucking hear me! Am I in hell?" Disappointingly, the still-painful montage wasn't followed by Miller's tearful reunion with Hunter and a do-over of the original interview unimpaired by the "satellite problems" that plagued their first meeting, just some chatter about how the combination of God and her equally beneficent View saviors have pulled her back from "the precipice upon which you were standing," to borrow Goldberg's typically eloquent words.

• The View [ABC.com]
• Previously: A Brave Holly Hunter Barely Survives Junket Nightmare [Defamer]

The source adds that while her appearance has not yet been confirmed, "the idea is to have her come on and apologize for the VMAs. She's weighing the offer." [...]

Though Spears has been keeping a low profile since the show, a source tells Us that at least some within her inner circle are receptive to the Emmy idea and are urging her to do it.

However, a source close to Spears says: "I can't say this is 100 percent not true. All I can say is that the Emmy people aren't dealing with her record company, her manager or her agents at William Morris. So if she is doing anything for the Emmys then it's not going through the official channels."

Putting aside for a moment speculation about who exactly comprises the "inner circle" mulling the idea (our best guess is that the strategic thinktank consists of Sean Preston, her other, still-unnamed baby, career-planning chihuahua Mr. Shaky, and a part-time cleaning lady with limited English skills but a kind smile), there is perhaps no one on the planet with more experience in post-trainwreck mob-mollification than Emmy host Seacrest. Even if Spears' apology (and, God willing, an entire do-over performance like the one recently offered by Extra) is met with a shower of catcalls and boos by TV Academy members upset that their big night has been hijacked by a crass, ratings-grabbing publicity stunt, the mesmerizing combination of Seacrest's blinding smile and the hypnotic cadence of his unrelenting positivity will quickly have them cheering like an auditorium full of Idol auditioners who've just been told they're all going to Hollywood.

• Emmys Source: Show in Talks With Britney Spears [USMagazine.com]

All-Baldwin Friday Morning continues here at Defamer with the above clip of the alienated, shouty dad's highly anticipated appearance on today's episode of The View, a segment so exhaustively previewed in the media that its actual broadcast was doomed to anticlimax. Still, even if we feel we've read every obligatory, publicly contrite word before, our role in any celebrity's televised Redemption Tour is to patiently listen and nod along as if we're hearing it all for the first time, lest crisis managers decide such desperation moves have lost their effectiveness and deprive of us future talk show mea culpas.

BONUS! The LAT exhaustively chronicles Baldwin and Basinger's tumultuous relationship. Don't miss the bit about how the actress used a Luna bar to interfere with her ex-husband's "therapeutic involvement" in their daughter's life.

• The View [ABC.com]
• Baldwin-Basinger: Look back in anger [LAT]