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Relationships

love connection

Mr. Right Iz Here, Ladies

Your search is over, ladies: "Mr. Right Iz Here Waitin on U." On Craigslist! His straightforward message: "Listen If U Really Wanna Get 2 Know Me Just Send Me A Note." Simple, honest, persuasive... and right. And he included a total of 30 pictures with his one-sentence pitch. Including a few unrelated wedding pictures that don't even appear to have him in it. But this handful should be enough to give you the essence of what your new man is all about: More »

crime

Facebook Update Leads To Murder-Suicide

Tracey Grinhaff, a 42-year-old mother of two in Sheffield, England, was murdered by her angry husband after she posted a message on her Facebook page saying that she was leaving him. Cops found her body in a shed in the back yard of the couple's house, and her 41-year-old husband Gary's body was found in the woods nearby. She died of head wounds, and so did he, although his were self-inflicted. Apparently the message made him extremely angry: More »

Crikey! Mr. Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe, has fallen in love with some mysterious Vegemite-eating, kangaroo-riding, didgeridoo-playing, Paul Hogan-worshiping, Home and Away-understanding, another shrimp on the barbie-putting, descended-from-criminals Australian sheila. [Showbiz Spy]

relationships

All the Available Literary Men

Highbrow pink newspaper the New York Observer—home to Gawker employees past, and probably future—launched their fancy new book review section, "O.R.B." (guess what it stands for) with a review of Keith Gessen's book, a profile by Leon Neyfakh, and a Joshua David Stein review. Which means that nearly all the names on the front page of the section belong to people who have, at one time or another, dated former Gawker editor Emily Gould. There are only like ten people who write things in New York, you see. This is like a nightmare we used to have! Click to enlarge the section, with names helpfully circled by a stalky anonymous tipster.

Jealousy In Small Packages Two new studies by SCIENTISTS appear to confirm the old "Napoleon Complex" theory. They found that shorter men in relationships are more jealous than tall men, both in general and when it comes to their girlfriends talking to other men. But tall women were found to be the most jealous, and women of average height, least jealous. This does not bode well for the imaginary Verne Troyer- Lisa Leslie relationship that always seemed like it would be so sweet. [Daily Mail]

modern love

How Mundane Is Modern Love?

Modern Love, the Sunday column in the New York Times, has occasionally been enlivened by strippers, fatties and leukemia sex. But the fact remains that the weekly dissection of modern relationships is overwhelmingly conventional. As shown by our exhaustive analysis of themes since the series launched in 2004, Modern Love protagonists are preoccupied above all by their parents; and children, prospective or wailing. Same-generation passion: bleh. TABLE ยป

goodbye yellow brick road

Ann Coulter Is Single, 46

"They said the unholy union" between Ann Coulter and Dem former City Council president Andrew Stein—first reported and possibly invented by Page Six—wouldn't work. And "they" were right! The pretend relationship is over. He just wasn't her type, in that he is not a half-dozen gay dudes. [NYP]

john stossel

20/20 Host: "Let The Sister-Fucking Begin!"

John Stossel, scourge of self-appointed "experts" (and wrestling fans) everywhere, takes to the pages of The Sun this morning to tell us that one more thing we know is wrong: It's okay to marry your cousin! See, a lot of big government advocates, movie folks, and science types want you to believe that procreating with someone whose genetic code is dangerously similar to yours might result in children who suffer from the disabilities that you'd expect with interbreeding. But are they right? Not according to John, who uses the flawless argument of providing anecdotal evidence concerning a few folks for whom it has all worked out, plus the slightly disingenuous method of refusing to make distinctions in degrees of familial separation. No matter; marrying your cousin is a-ok! (And if you're tempted to make a red state joke, remember who we had as mayor for eight years). We've got to say, we always knew libertarians wanted to get government off our backs; we just had no idea that they wanted to save that space for mom's nephew. More »

corcoran

Remainders: The CorcoDevil Pays for Her Orgies

• Late breaking, but: Behold the bacchanalian realtor horror of the Corcoran Group's holiday party. [BizBash]
Natasha Lyonne may be back out on the streets, but it doesn't mean she's out of trouble: the cracktress skipped her court date yesterday, presumably because she was out buying 60 lbs of baking soda and some bell jars. [NYP]
• Meg Ryan officially adopts a baby girl from China. She's a mess without her, little China Girl. [Us Weekly]
• A trip to Ikea is stressful enough as is. Taking that trip with your significant other can make for relationship hell. Which is exactly why we'll die old and alone, with furniture made from cardboard boxes. [NY Sun]
Blackface Jesus explains the blackface; confesses that his Halloween costume was Whiteface Jesus. Of course. [Junk Mag]
• Yesterday on Howard Stern, Alexis Stewart revealed her predilection for fucking the wage laborers. [Howard Stern]
• Billy Joel isn't some little kid, you know. It's time to start calling him "Bill." [NYT]
• How to deal with a porn producer. [JenIsFamous]
Donald Trump sues the NYT Co. and reporter Timothy L. O'Brien for $5 billion in damages — which should cover, oh, maybe half of Trump's paper losses for the next week. [WSJ]