By claiming he had an intern at his Lower East Side apartment at 10 pm on a Tuesday night, apparently. Said JTA:

A person identifying himself as the intern in question called JTA Thursday, but refused to provide a full name. The caller said that he posted the fraudulent comment to the JTA site using a computer at Engelmayer’s apartment during a get-together there Tuesday night, but without Engelmayer’s knowledge.

Now would be a good time to recap the various levels of incompetence in this whole 5WPR scheme:

• After being hired for its internet PR expertise, 5WPR attempts to plant fake comments from both supporters and (most deviously) critics of the kosher slaughterhouse on various websites.
• This scheme unravels because the company doesn't bother to leave its office or mask its IP address when posting.
• This scheme also unravels because the company misspells the name of a rabbi when signing a comment in that rabbi's name.
• CEO Ronn [sic] Torossian claims an "investigation" is under way to find out which of his employees spun a laughably incompetent Web of amoral deception in the service of flackery. This time.
• VP Engelmayer, assigned the slaughterhouse account, blames an unnamed, unpaid "intern" for the fraud. Says this "intern" has been fired.
• This story starts to unravel because, as blog Failed Messiah notes, the first two impersonation posts appeared in February, "well before any summer interns were working at 5W." Ahem.
• The story unravels further when two fraudulent Web comments are traced to Engelmayer's apartment.
• "Intern" calls to say he was hanging with Engelmayer at his apartment Tuesday night and slipped, undetected, onto Engelmayer's computer to do some impromptu character assassination, so don't blame Engelmayer because Engelmayer did not do it.
• Probably next: Caller comes forward as a paid shill. Engelmayer said he hired him on behalf of the intern, who is deathly afraid of the press, because that's the sort of person who takes an unpaid PR internship.

[JTA, Failed Messiah]

FailedMessiah.com did a little poking around on the internets and found that—surprise!—a bunch of its stupid comments were coming from the same IP address. A 5WPR IP address.

Not only did 5W impersonate Rabbi Allen – a federal crime, by the way – it also impersonated JVNA officer John Diamond and frequent FailedMessiah commenter Yochanan Lavie – also federal crimes.

5W also left multiple comments on this blog using many different aliases. The comments were often left on the same post and used to support each other and Agriprocessors. But all comments originated from 5W Public Relations, Agriprocessors PR firm, even though the commenter(s) presented himself as a non-affilliated observer.

Here's an example of one of the comments, which certainly has that 5W flair:

You can look over the mounds of evidence of 5W's guilt here. If we hear from Ronn, we'll let you know. In the meantime, why not amuse yourself by looking back at the comments on our posts about Ronn and 5WPR and picking out the 5W trolls? I guarantee they're in there!

[FailedMessiah.com]

Katy has a steady boyfriend, but she doesn't believe in sex before marriage. "I know what it does to people," she says. "One night my boyfriend and I went a little too far and I felt like I'd fallen so far away from God. I doubted myself and my strength. I was so weak at the time in my relationship with Christ."

If someone is going to have sex, however, Katy absolutely believes that person should use a condom: "Some Christians think that if you use a condom, it's premeditated. So nobody uses a condom at all and they have sex and get pregnant the first time."

That's a far cry from lyrics like, "I got so brave, drink in hand / Lost my discretion... I kissed a girl and I liked it... I kissed a girl just to try it."

Devout Christian music fans are now trying to figure out how Perry fell off the path of earnest righteousness, or if she was ever on it. But the preacher's daughter who once said "if people buy the record, that’s all the credibility I need" has probably just been looking for a winning angle of any sort and, after keeping her faith in the power of sex, has finally found it.

Below, the video for "I Kissed A Girl," in which Perry slinks around in lingerie with other women.

[Radosh]

Buddhism however, proved more attractive than both Islam and Judaism, and was chosen by nine per cent of those questioned.

Aish UK's executive director Rabbi Naftali Schiff said the results of the YouGov poll of 2,000 people were alarming.

"It clearly demonstrates that religion, including Judaism, is becoming unattractive to the British public.

"At Aish we know that Judaism provides real meaning and enrichment to one's life. Whilst we have attracted many disinterested Jews back to Jewish identity it is clear there is much work to be done."

Research published earlier this year suggested that church attendance is declining so fast that the number of regular churchgoers will be fewer than those attending mosques within a generation.

According to Religious Trends, an analysis of religious practice in Britain, the huge drop off in attendance means that the Church of England, Catholicism and other denominations will become financially unviable. [Telegraph]

The gym offers classes including "Yogod," its take on yoga, and "Chariots of Fire," a spinning class. Spaghetti-strap tank tops and short shorts are not allowed, and women's tops must cover their bottoms...

"I don't need anything to lead me into temptation," Mr. Heistad said. "I can get there on my own."

"It's a Christian business, a Christian environment," he added. "It's a better feel. You stand a little taller, don't grunt, don't get pumped and yell, 'Daddy's got a new set of pipes.' "

Hey: it keeps the Christians out of our gyms. Daddy's got a new set of pipes, baby, yea!

[NYT]

[Copyranter]

Pastor John Hagee said on Thursday that his controversial sermon, in which he said Hitler was fulfilling God's will for a state of Israel, had been "intentionally mischaracterized" and constituted a "gross example of bias." In a statement to The Huffington Post, he did not apologize for or distance himself from the sermon, saying simply that he had long grappled with how God "who controls what happens here on earth" could allow the Holocaust...

In his statement, which was provided by Hagee's New York-based PR firm, 5W Public Relations, the pastor cited his career devotion "to ensuring that there will never be a second Holocaust."

Ronn has long worked for Jewish causes and organizations. But maybe it was his flackery on behalf of disgraced evangelist Benny Hinn and FEMA champ Michael "Brownie" Brown that convinced Hagee to turn to him.

Or maybe he likes tough talkers who come with high recommendations.

Good luck, McCain! [UPDATE: And just like that, McCain has repudiated Hagee's endorsement! Hopefully not just because of his poor PR hiring practices.]

[via HuffPo]

A spokeswoman for the force said today: "City of London police had received complaints about demonstrators using the words 'cult' and 'Scientology kills' during protests against the Church of Scientology.

"Following advice from the Crown Prosecution Service some demonstrators were warned verbally and in writing that their signs breached section five of the Public Order Act.

Civil rights groups are justifiably outraged. But it turns out the London police have a history of supporting the wacky church:

The City of London police came under fire two years ago when it emerged that more than 20 officers, ranging from constable to chief superintendent, had accepted gifts worth thousands of pounds from the Church of Scientology.

The City of London Chief Superintendent, Kevin Hurley, praised Scientology for "raising the spiritual wealth of society" during the opening
of its headquarters in 2006.

Last year a video praising Scientology emerged featuring Ken Stewart, another of the City of London's chief superintendents, although he is not a member of the group.

[Guardian UK]

Formerly in the Anonymous vs. Scientology battle: Protests, Video attacks, and the church's counterattack.

From Mary Stevenson, 1936:

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?"

The Lord replied, "The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you."

From Carolyn Carty, 1963:

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

From Margaret Fishback Powers, 1964:

One night I dreamed a dream. I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

[NYP; poems via WowZone]

This recent Financial Times piece about West Virginia voters quotes a "lifelong Democrat":

"I heard that Obama is a Muslim and his wife's an atheist," said Mr Simpson, drawing on a cigarette outside the fire station in Williamson, a coalmining town of 3,400 people surrounded by lush wooded hillsides.

Mr. Simpson, that does not even make sense. You think a secret radical Muslim would marry an atheist? Even if it was purely to piss off Christians? Sleeper agent jihadists are not known for their tolerance of Enlightenment principles!

Seriously, West Virginia, we are going to give you back to Virginia unless you can demonstrate that you can handle statehood again. And no one wants that.

A synagogue in Westhampton Beach asked permission to put up an eruv. An eruv is a symbolic boundary that allows observant Jews to do stuff during Shabbos. It is literally a tiny wire that can go up along telephone poles or other failry unobtrusive places. Naturally, the residents of Westhampton want no part of this terrible Jewish plot.

Some Westhampton Beach gentile residents oppose the eruv because they fear it will attract more Orthodox Jews to the area.

Now the Post doesn't like "name" or "quote" anyone, and there's no evidence that they did any "reporting," but we're still more tha willing to buy the story. Because everyone hates the Jews again!

Like Cal State Long Beach psych professor Kevin MacDonald, who wrote a three-volume "critique of Judaism as a 'group evolutionary strategy'" that threatens "Europeans." MacDonald has a plan: ban Jews from college and up their taxes. Certain others have taken MacDonald's views to heart and recommended more efficient options of dealing with The Jewish Question. These political mavericks have a crazy plan to "exterminate" all the Jewish people! Though MacDonald is pretty sure the Jews just made up the Nazis to get people to be nice to them.

God it sucks when professors prove frothing anti-academia nutcases right.

Local politicians say it will take more than a well-decorated storefront for Obama, the Illinois senator, to make headway. "He's going to have to visit," says Bob Pasley, who adds that Obama should come prepared to answer "tough questions," including some about his religion.

"Is he Islamic or is he not?" Pasley says of Obama, who is Christian. "I know he's tried to talk about it but he hasn't looked anybody in Wayne in the eye and told them."

The group's director of public policy, Dan Isett, had this exchange with a reporter:

Have you played the game?

"I've actually played 'Grand Theft Auto IV,' and it's right in keeping with previous versions. The series continues to lower the bar and this is the first game that has an alcohol content warning. You get points for driving drunk in this game."

You know that's not true, right? The game doesn't have points.

"If nothing else, it's a rewarded activity. Necessary for advancement."

I don't think so.

"But there's an alcohol content warning and a scene of drunk driving, correct?"

Yes. Did you play that part?

"No, no. I didn't get that far."

Well, get back to us when you've played it, Dan! It should't be hard; he says he has a Wii. Clean fun!

[via BoingBoing]

"It reads on the top of the New York Times, 'All the News That's Fit to Print,' but it's very hard to argue that this was not news on February 1, 2006..."

"Europe has usually been criticized for being politically correct and on the defense when it comes to Islam, but more European newspapers published the cartoons," he said. "We might not have had the kind of ongoing crisis if more newspapers around the world would have published the cartoons at the same time because by doing so you would have drawn a clear line. ... Instead, it was pretty unclear what people in liberal democracies thought of this issue."

He's right!

[NY Sun]

Christian Group Denounces Starbucks

Over New Logo of Naked Mermaid

(San Diego, CA) Starbucks has recently introduced a new version of their logo which features a topless mermaid with her legs spread, which has caused outrage from a nation wide Christian media watchdog organization. The Resistance, with has over 3000 members nationwide, is boycotting Starbucks across the country saying their new logo is inappropriate.

The Starbucks logo has a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute, explains Mark Dice, founder of the group. Need I say more? It's extremely poor taste, and the company might as well call themselves, Slutbucks.

The all-brown logo is a replica of the one the chain used when it opened its first store in Pike Place in Seattle in 1971. The woman is actually a siren, not a mermaid, which in Greek mythology lures people to them with their beautiful songs, and then kills them, explains Dice.

The Resistance has made international news for rebuking various Hollywood celebrities for their ridiculous behavior, including Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, 50 Cent, Tom Cruise and others. They also demanded that Duke University change the name of their Blue Devils sports team to something not offensive to the Christian community.

# # #

[What about asking them for some lemons while you're at it, Resistance?]

"The Dude Abides 'will be a chronological examination of the Coen brothers' oeuvre—every film they have directed together, as well as the films for which they have written original screenplays and those they have adapted from
existing material,' the copy says. 'Falsani will investigate the theological, mythological, moral, ethical, religious and philosophical content and what their overarching message—their Gospel—might be.'" [Hollywood-Elsewhere]

[via AAA]

[via YOU: On My Blog]

[via YOU: On My Blog]

Jon Stewart had one line the other night about how the Popes have gotten so much nicer since the Catholic church no longer has an actual army. And it's true! There's plenty to criticize, what with the anti-reproductive rights thing, but they're not killing infidels or holding inquisitions anymore! No one's drinking the liquor of succession or raping their own nieces!

Seriously, crusades now are carried on by supposedly secular governments, the worst offenses by religion against the greater good are perpetrated by extremist Islamist clerics and evangelical huckster preachers and even the Jews have more dangerous terrorists than the Catholics these days.

So Bill, it's fun to mock the Pope for looking like Emperor Palpatine, but at least he doesn't have enough power anymore to act like Emperor Palpatine.

And Catholics, please, make like the rest of the nation and stop paying attention to Bill Maher.

John Paul II made Peggy cry, you see. Like, every single time she saw him, or thought of him, or looked at the framed picture she has of him on her desk next to the framed picture of Ronald Reagan bowling with Jesus. Ratzi, though—"John Paul made you burst into tears. Benedict makes you think."

(The use of the second-person in this column, as in all Peggy Noonan columns employing it, will eventually wear down your spirit and drive you mad. "Benedict, the reporter noted, is the perfect pope for the Internet age. He is a man of the word. You download the text of what he said, print it, ponder it." I... I do? Why??)

Oh, yes, that Internet age thing. Peggy means that Ratzi writes very intellectual speeches about vagaries of Catholic dogma, and also how the Islamists are demons who we need to destroy, because they're currently doing a better job of recruiting desperately impoverished third-worlders than the formerly reigning champion Catholics, but whatever. It all sounds to us a bit less "information age" than some other "ages" we could name.

Also wouldn't the first Pope of the Internet age deliver Mass not in the original Latin but in comical LOLSpeak? Or perhaps in the form of a 10 Ten List of YouTube clips? (Let us Digg.)

Ok, here is more from Ms. Noonan's column about the Pope she is sad she doesn't like as much as the last one:

An American journalist took it upon himself to remind papal representatives that the pope turns 81 while in Washington. Perhaps people could be urged to sing . . . "Happy Birthday"? Benedict some time back wowed a group of schoolchildren when he spoke to them of Antonietta Meo, who may in time become the church's youngest nonmartyred saint. Is he meeting with schoolchildren here?

Another small fear, born of hearing him last week at the mass. Benedict spoke in many languages including English, which he speaks fluidly and with a strong German accent. This is an accent that 60 years of World War II movies have taught Americans to hear as vaguely sinister, or comic. The nicer commentators may say he sounds like Col. Klink in "Hogan's Heroes." I hope he speaks even more than usual about love, for that may remove the sting, as love does.

Yes! Perhaps people could be urged to sing Happy Birthday to Nazi Pope Klink! Children, maybe? A band of Austrian siblings, perhaps! Led by their plucky governess!

Something Beautiful Has Begun [WSJ via our favorite new blog, Christ Our Hope: Pope Benedict XVI: Apostolic Journey to the United States (Part II: Back in the Habit)]

If non-Christians have heard of Bibleman at all, it's probably because for the first seven years he was played by Willie Aames. In the 1970s and 80s, Aames was the shaggy-haired co-star of Eight is Enough and Charles in Charge, and his only superpower was snorting three grams of coke a day. Eventually he cleaned up, was born again and took a new job as Bibleman. His episodes are now in perpetual reruns on TBN, and I sat down to watch one.

The show opens with the backstory of our hero, Miles Peterson, "a man who had it all: wealth, status, success. Still, something was missing." That's putting it mildly. I don't know about you, but when I feel that something is missing I usually mope around the house or browse YouTube for videos of cats falling off stuff. Miles, however, goes tearing out into a rainstorm and collapses into a sobbing heap. "Then, in his darkest hour," Miles finds something half buried in the mud: a Bible. Not just any Bible — a radioactive Bible. No, actually it is just any Bible. But apparently that's enough to turn him into Bibleman.

In this episode, Bibleman and his sidekicks, Cypher (the black guy) and Biblegirl (the girl) go up against a villain called Primordius Drool, a mincing green-skinned fop with a lisp and a fondness for show tunes. Subtlety is not Bibleman's strong suit. The same actor also plays a talk show host named Sammy Davey, who is a classic stereotype of a New York Jew, complete with nerdy glasses and a giant Jew-fro. Slouching and cringing, Sammy Davey needles and browbeats poor Bibleman in an accent so thick that he actually pronounces Bibleman as if it were a surname like Silverman or Lieberman.

The heart of the show is the fight sequences, typically involving a darkened warehouse (all the better to obscure the lackluster choreography) and Bibleman swatting away CGI fireballs with his lightsaber while announcing, "Isaiah 54:17 says 'no weapon forged against me will prosper!'" Every now and then, Bibleman shares a lesson with his sidekicks, as when he laments that people "allow their minds to cover up what God has placed on their hearts" — a near perfect pitch for the common evangelical notion that feelings are to be trusted above rational discernment, a belief that many non-evangelicals would be distressed to hear is being passed on to eight-year-olds.

On the front page of last Sunday's St. Louis Post-Dispatch, we published the story of a woman identified as Virginia Gillis. She was featured in an Easter story in which she described in detail a past of victimization, homelessness and despair followed by recovery and repair.

We have since learned that a number of the details in that story were inaccurate. Further, our verification procedures were not followed during the reporting and editing process. In short, this story did not meet our standards for publication.

We apologize for this journalistic breakdown. We value the trust you place in us every time you pick up the Post-Dispatch or log onto STLtoday.com, and we understand that incidents such as this put that trust at risk.

Last Monday morning, we were contacted by someone who told us that information provided by the woman in the story was inaccurate. We immediately began a review of our reporting. We conducted extensive records searches and interviewed sources to check the details provided by the woman. We have learned:

* The woman's name is Pamala Brown, according to police, her mother and other people who know her. She also has used the spelling Pamela.

* Law enforcement officials in Crawford, Gasconade and Franklin counties have active warrants for Brown for violating probation on felony bad check and forgery charges. Crystal City has a warrant for Brown for failure to appear on DWI and other traffic charges.

* The Missouri Department of Revenue has no record of the drivers license number that appears on the license the woman provided us during this review.

* Law enforcement and fire officials in Jefferson County have no records of the violence the woman described in the story. She said her husband burned down her house in 2005 and a few weeks later slashed her throat. She said the attack left the long scar across her neck.

"I think we would have recognized the offense even under a different name," said Jefferson County Circuit Judge Robert Wilkins, who was the county prosecutor at the time. Wilkins said authorities checked the name the woman provided the newspaper for her ex-husband, as well as variations.

* Pamala Brown is 51 years old, not 42, according to public documents.

* Pamala Brown attended Parkway West High School but did not graduate, according to school officials.

* Other information in the story about the woman's marriage and children conflicts with information we have since obtained from public documents and family members.

We have spoken with the woman twice since the article ran, and she insists that everything she told us was accurate and that she is not Pamala Brown. Pastors at Centenary United Methodist Church, who had obtained identification documents from her shortly after they hired her in March 2007 to work in the church's homeless program, said they had had no reason to question her identity. They said she has been a model employee.

Our review showed that Pamala Brown was mentioned and pictured in a May 2000 story. We have been unable to verify some of the details about the woman that were included in that story, which was about the Mark Twain Hotel.

The Post-Dispatch has strict standards for gathering and verifying information. As a story is reported and prepared for publication, a number of journalists scrutinize it. As part of our internal review of how this story was handled, we have learned that during that process some questions were raised about the woman's account that should have been pursued more aggressively. We take this lapse very seriously, and we are taking steps to reinforce the standards to which we normally adhere. In our profession there is nothing more important than our credibility, and that is why we have tried to address this situation with you as fully and directly as possible. We hope you will accept our apology.

Arnie Robbins, Editor
Pam Maples, Managing Editor

[pic via STLToday.com; "Gillis" on the right]

"Monsignor Vittorio Formenti, who compiled the Vatican's newly-released 2008 yearbook of statistics, said Muslims made up 19.2 percent of the world's population and Catholics 17.4 percent. 'For the first time in history we are no longer at the top: the Muslims have overtaken us,' Formenti told Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano in an interview, saying the data referred to 2006. He said that if all Christian groups were considered, including Orthodox churches, Anglicans and Protestants, then Christians made up 33 percent of the world's population—or about 2 billion people." [Reuters via Drudge]

On the afternoon in 1998 when faith returned, I experienced a sense of the limitless power and majesty of God that left me convinced that He knew all the answers to the theological and sociological questions that had tormented me for years. I saw, in one enduring moment, that the God who could make the Double Helix and the snow flake, the God who could make the Black holes in space, and the lilies of the field, could do absolutely anything and must know everything —- even why good people suffer, why genocide and war plague our planet, and why Christians have lost, in America and in other lands, so much credibility as people who know how to love.

Probably because of the vampires in their midst.

Don't ever succumb to the fear that evil is winning in this world, no matter how bad things may appear. Don't ever succumb to the fear that He does not witness our struggles, that He is not with every single soul.

What about THIS SOUL?

Buchanan was the first in, explaining that indeed Christ would be down with the killing, since he himself was executed. "He did not put a high priority on this life," said Buchanan. "Death was not the great evil." Stunned, or perhaps feigning stunned, McLaughlin declared, "What an incredible explanation!"

Leggy syndicated radio host Monica Crowley—who usually has Buchanan's back on all points conservative—begged to differ. "He suffered the death penalty because it was coming from a higher authority, not the government." McLaughlin had the final word: "Jesus would not support the death penalty."

Spitzer's education, propensity to argue and dedication to fitness all made him a nice Jewish boy. But he never conflated his moralist streak with his religion the way some Jewish politicians do (cough, cough Joe Lieberman). Instead, like Michael Bloomberg, also a member of the tribe, Spitzer was a crusader. As attorney general, he went after white collar criminals, as well as prostitution rings, and created a reputation as do-gooder fighting evil. (Bloomberg, less didactic, went after smokers and fatties.) And the public loves when anyone self-righteous, regardless of religion, takes a fall.

Prostitution affairs ensnare B-list political goys like Randall Tobias, Ken Calvert and Allan Howe all the time. Eliot Spitzer proves that Jews can violate the codes of marriages just as well as any other religion, and his fall from pious grace makes it more shocking (or entertaining, depending on the observer). But only a Jew would've thought to put a down payment for future services.

"When Tom's talking to you, he's never looking over your shoulder to see if anyone more important is in the room." It's that thousand-mile Scientology Stare! (You might remember it from your friend Jason Lee.) Smith, whose recent films have repeatedly hammered his painfully obvious "golden calf" and graven idol symbolism, is a devout Catholic, just like Cruise wives Mimi Rogers and Katie Holmes were before they became zombie-eyed Hubbard brides. [PageSix.com]