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New York, 2:07 PM
Fri Dec 11
55 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #republicansexscandals more →

    Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter

    Horny Evangelical Christian Senator Got Mommy and Daddy to Bribe His Piece on the Side

    Mark Sanford Gets to Keep His Job, Amazingly

    Missing South Carolina Governor Has Just Been Chillin' Out Y'all
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Mediahohoho Mediahohoho
    07/20/09

    In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
    Dear South Carolina Voters:

    I've been chatting with the God you claim to love so much and understand so imperfectly. He says that He gave me a slightly smaller than average penis for a reason and that it's a good thing all the women in my life--my wife, the Argentinian chick, those broads whose holes I couldn't find--didn't really mind.

    He also says you people are as dumb as a sack of hammers and totally lose the scant brains He gave you whenever some white dude with a haircut and a suit spouts the right combination of God words and quotes Holy Scripture.

    In other words, He is laughing at you.

    Love and giggles,

    Mark Sanford.
     Reply
    Edited by Mediahohoho at 07/20/09 12:12 AM Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred
    Image of thatblackgirl thatblackgirl
    07/19/09

    In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
    This is the ultimate "Crap E-mail from a Dude."

    Shut UP, Mark. You're just MAKING IT WORSE.
     Reply
    thatblackgirl was starred thatblackgirl was unstarred
    Image of Pinekatz Pinekatz
    07/19/09

    In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
    Dear Mrs. Sanford:

    If he hadn't been caught, he'd be planning his next trip to visit his soul mate.

    Do the right thing. Take half of everything he has, the kids and 100% of your dignity, then move on.

    Pinekatz
     Reply
    Pinekatz was starred Pinekatz was unstarred
    Image of AtomicBalm AtomicBalm
    07/19/09

    In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
    God must be pretty sick of his name being brought up by these self-indulgent, hypocritical bullshit artists every time they clumsily get caught neck deep in their own sewage of lies. Where's all the thunderbolts and fury we read about in the Old Testament when you need them?
     Reply
    CumaeanSibyl promoted this comment AtomicBalm was starred AtomicBalm was unstarred
    Image of CumaeanSibyl CumaeanSibyl
    07/19/09

    @AtomicBalm: I imagine their faces melting all shouldna-looked-in-the-Ark stylee. It's very satisfying.
     Reply
    CumaeanSibyl was starred CumaeanSibyl was unstarred
    Image of SybilDisobedience SybilDisobedience
    07/19/09

    In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
    Blah blah blah. What a fucking narcissist. I know, all politicians are. But I'm still fucking tired of hearing from this guy.
     Reply
    SybilDisobedience was starred SybilDisobedience was unstarred
    Image of T.s. Ediot T.s. Ediot
    07/19/09

    @SybilDisobedience: He believes that he's been chosen by god. To lead the state of South Carolina. Mark Sanford's true soul mate? Mark Sanford.
     Reply
    CumaeanSibyl promoted this comment T.s. Ediot was starred T.s. Ediot was unstarred
    Image of CumaeanSibyl CumaeanSibyl
    07/19/09

    @T.s. Ediot: Chosen to lead South Carolina... oh, I can see the hand of God in that. As Paul Krugman recently said, "Whom the gods would destroy, they first make Republican governors."
     Reply
    CumaeanSibyl was starred CumaeanSibyl was unstarred
    Image of BlinkyMcChuck BlinkyMcChuck
    07/19/09

    In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
    He just loves the attention. He's in some kind of weird reality show in his mind, the Christian Not-A-Bachelor.
     Reply
    BlinkyMcChuck was starred BlinkyMcChuck was unstarred
    Image of labyrinthine IS DOING THIS labyrinthine IS DOING THIS
    07/19/09

    In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
    because, all we all know, quoting the Old Testament is SRS BZNS.
     Reply
    labyrinthine IS DOING THIS promoted this comment labyrinthine IS DOING THIS was starred labyrinthine IS DOING THIS was unstarred
    Image of charliebrowns charliebrowns
    07/19/09

    In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
    What a fucking hamster.
     Reply
    phlox✔ promoted this comment charliebrowns was starred charliebrowns was unstarred
    Image of phlox✔ phlox✔
    07/19/09

    @charliebrowns:
     Reply
    phlox✔ was starred phlox✔ was unstarred
    Image of IAmDoingThis IAmDoingThis
    07/19/09

    In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
    I love this whole meltdown, except for his poor wife. She's got all the makings of a steel magnolia, though.
     Reply
    ShanghaiLil promoted this comment IAmDoingThis was starred IAmDoingThis was unstarred
    Image of ShanghaiLil ShanghaiLil
    07/19/09

    @IAmDoingThis: "Poor wife?" She's run five of his campaigns for various offices. Do you think she didn't know what she was doing when she informed the press that she had no idea where he was? She had had, as we Southerners say, "a bait!"
     Reply
    ShanghaiLil was starred ShanghaiLil was unstarred
    Image of pmarble pmarble
    07/19/09

    @ShanghaiLil: And for this I shall eternally love her.
     Reply
    ShanghaiLil promoted this comment pmarble was starred pmarble was unstarred
    Image of ShanghaiLil ShanghaiLil
    07/19/09

    @pmarble: I'm quite fond of her myself. Can you imagine what it must've been like LIVING with that? I can see myself now, screaming, "OK, I know I said I wanted a partner who was able to talk about his feelings, but JESUS H. CHRIST! SHUT UP ALREADY!"
     Reply
    ShanghaiLil was starred ShanghaiLil was unstarred
    Image of BookishLatkeish BookishLatkeish
    07/19/09

    @ShanghaiLil: Interestingly, she was a Catholic from Chicago who switched to his church. I agree with you, Shang, it must be hell being married to a yammerer like that, but worse, and despite her willingness to go public, she's got a total Stepford vibe that skeeves me out. Why didn't she just take a younger lover of her own and keep her mouth shut? This shitstorm is hurting her kids and she threw a few turds in there herself. Not that I thought she should get up on the podium with him like Silda, but TMI is good for the goose/good for the gander.
     Reply
    Edited by BookishLatkeish at 07/19/09 6:06 PM BookishLatkeish was starred BookishLatkeish was unstarred
    Image of CumaeanSibyl CumaeanSibyl
    07/19/09

    @BookishLookish: Because having sex with a hot younger lover doesn't fix the fact that you're married to a self-absorbed, whiny cheater?

    I mean, it's nice and all, but you still have to come home to "But why can't I go see my mistress? You're so meeeaaaan."
     Reply
    Edited by CumaeanSibyl at 07/19/09 7:08 PM CumaeanSibyl was starred CumaeanSibyl was unstarred
    Image of BookishLatkeish BookishLatkeish
    07/19/09

    @CumaeanSibyl: Your logic is impeccable. But: Why aren't you drinking heavily on a Sunday afternoon? I am.
     Reply
    BookishLatkeish was starred BookishLatkeish was unstarred
    Image of atlasspanked atlasspanked
    07/19/09

    In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
    Kee-rist what a spineless tool!

    I'd have had more respect for Sanford if he'd tossed it all and moved to Argentina.

    Chapur got off way luckier than South Carolina. Now they've got to live under this jellyfish until the nex election.
     Reply
    La Mareada promoted this comment atlasspanked was starred atlasspanked was unstarred
    Image of Baroness Baroness
    07/09/09

    In reply to Horny Evangelical Christian Senator Got Mommy and Daddy to Bribe His Piece on the Side
    Dreadful to think that after a few drinks I might've once thrown him a fuck. But relying on Mommy to do your disgraceful
    whore-mastering is why I'm glad I was raised to avoid politicians at all costs.
    "They're just interested in blowing themselves!" Mother used to say, like Edith Wharton so tragically and elegaically described.
     Reply
    Baroness was starred Baroness was unstarred
    Image of Nice Beaver Nice Beaver
    07/09/09

    In reply to Horny Evangelical Christian Senator Got Mommy and Daddy to Bribe His Piece on the Side
    When I was 15, I went to a "parents-out-of-town" party during which the piano was pooped in. I didn't do the doo and the owners of the house didn't know I was there. Mom and Dad found out I was there and made me go to the house and help clean out the poop. I'm glad I have my parents and not these loathsome bourgeois shitbags.
     Reply
    Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred
    Image of PrincessKashmir PrincessKashmir
    07/10/09

    @Nice Beaver: You should also be glad your parents taught you how to use a toilet. Shitbags, indeed.
     Reply
    PrincessKashmir was starred PrincessKashmir was unstarred
    Image of son of spam son of spam
    07/09/09

    In reply to Horny Evangelical Christian Senator Got Mommy and Daddy to Bribe His Piece on the Side
    Spitzer's hookers were cheaper.
     Reply
    son of spam was starred son of spam was unstarred
    Image of OldTowneTavern OldTowneTavern
    07/09/09

    In reply to Horny Evangelical Christian Senator Got Mommy and Daddy to Bribe His Piece on the Side
    Wow, that Ensign family just can't help funneling things through this woman. Hi Oh!
     Reply
    Edited by OldTowneTavern at 07/09/09 8:35 PM OldTowneTavern was starred OldTowneTavern was unstarred
    Image of onebadclam onebadclam
    07/09/09

    In reply to Horny Evangelical Christian Senator Got Mommy and Daddy to Bribe His Piece on the Side
    Dear Mommy and Daddy Ensign,

    I, too, am having a difficult time. Be advised, I prefer used bills in denominations of $50 and less.

    Best regards,
    XOXO
     Reply
    onebadclam was starred onebadclam was unstarred
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