Top Walmart spokesman David Tovar has reportedly resigned after the company found that he lied on his resume about receiving a college degree. Lying? Not Walmart spokesman David Tovar!

Bipolar scion Jesse Jackson, Jr., who stood for re-election to his seat in the House of Representatives two weeks ago despite having spent virtually the entire campaign in hiding or under treatment for manic depression, has finally stepped down.

David Petraeus, the national-security golden-boy who rose from commander of CENTCOM to head of the CIA (and was often mentioned as a potential future GOP presidential candidate), has reportedly resigned, citing an extramarital affair.

The Wall Street Journal announced today that reporter Gina Chon, who was revealed by recently leaked emails to have slept with a National Security Council Iraq expert while covering that country, has resigned.

There is no better way to quit your job than by unloading on your former employer in the pages of the country's paper of record, and for that if nothing else we salute (former) Goldman Sachs executive director Greg Smith, who has a Times Op-Ed today entitled "Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs." Spoiler alert: it's…

Exactly a week after the Susan G. Komen Foundation announced that it would pull funding from Planned Parenthood—a decision that they later reversed—the organization's vice president for public policy, Karen Handel, resigned from her position.

The reaction to our post last week on Atlanta Jewish Times owner Andrew Adler's suggestion that Israel consider "order[ing] a hit" on Barack Obama was fast and fierce: After being denounced far and wide and apologizing abjectly, Adler is reportedly stepping down as publisher.

You won't have Barney Frank to kick around anymore. The voluble, irascible congressman and insult comic will reportedly announce today that he won't run for Congress in 2012. Maybe there's a scandal coming! Maybe his district is getting chewed up in Massachusetts' redistricting process. Maybe he's just sick of this…

Calling all unemployed Okies with underutilized graduate degrees! Many government positions have opened up in Oakland, California, in the past few weeks as one city official after another has abandoned Mayor Jean Quan's administration. Several new positions are waiting to be filled!

The Bunga Bunga Era is over. Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi resigned as expected this afternoon, bringing to a close 17 years of his wacky, corrupt, and deeply embarrassing domination of Italian politics. Arrivederci, asshole!

After a particularly offensive week—during which he called people who rehearse "fags" and told Howard Stern about "banging" Olivia Munn—Rush Hour director and physical embodiment of everything Axe body spray stands for Brett Ratner has quit his gig producing the Oscars under heavy pressure from the Academy. Hooray!…

Oregon Rep. David Wu, a tigersuit-clad furry sex monster, apparently won't sit out the rest of his House term before resigning. He's issued a statement announcing his imminent resignation — just as soon as the debt ceiling debacle draws to a close, which it never will.

Is there anything more gratifying than quitting a crappy job in dramatic, bridge-incinerating fashion? I don't think there is! But maybe we could ask Adam, former Taco Bell shift manager, since he seems to have some experience in that department. Adam submitted his sign-based resignation ("I QUIT - ADAM/FUCK YOU :)")…

Well, it's over: Rep. Anthony Weiner announced his resignation without his pregnant wife, Huma Abedin, at his side. He was interrupted repeatedly by determined hecklers and sped out of the room after his four-minute speech.

Accused attempted rapist Dominique Strauss-Kahn has stepped down as head of the International Monetary Fund, writing in his resignation letter, "I deny with the greatest possible firmness all of the allegations that have been made against me." [WSJ]

Hank Krakowski, the FAA's top air traffic control official, resigned today after a fifth air traffic controller was caught sleeping on the job in just the past four months.

Staid NPR is really far too dramatic these days. They just announced the resignation of CEO Vivian Schiller:

Completely powerless to keep his client from rambling on radio shows, Good Morning America, and TMZ, Charlie Sheen's publicist Stan Rosenfield quit. We gotta hand it to him, he survived a long time in the worst job in the world.

What with the alarming recent pseudotrend of racism permeating college campuses, we'd be remiss if we didn't bring you up to speed on this late-breaking story from Friday: Mark Wattier (pictured, atop horse), a political science professor at Murray State University, has decided to retire after being suspended by the…