KFC is the biggest US fast food chain in China. In the past year, however, sales have fallen sharply. Why oh why have the Chinese forsaken our delicious poisonous fried chicken?

Hey, entitled "millennials," with your "organic" this and "artisanal" that and "farm to table" marijuana: you're not the bosses any more. Old folks have taken over American restaurants. Thank the lord.

Last week, childlike Business Insider boss Henry Blodget publicly bemoaned the fact that a fancy New York restaurant employs bathroom attendants. Now, Henry's dream has come true: the bathroom attendants are all getting fired. Great.

The sands of time eventually destroy all things. Not actual McDonald's burgers—those are pretty much immortal, like all plastics. But McDonald's cheapest prices? Those will be dead in just two weeks.

You, the ruminant-like American consumer, "chewing your cud" (Cheetos) on your voluminous reclining chair as you passively absorb advertising messages for processed food conglomerates: which fast food ad do you relate to the most? The fake healthy place. Huh.

Stodgy, hidebound members of the establishment (who wouldn't know a bold new idea if it bit them in the ass) might not like to hear this, but we're going to get right up in their face and tell them anyhow: Outback Steakhouse is back— rebelliously.

While most Americans were out drinking, barbecuing, and setting off fireworks on July Fourth, more than a dozen employees at an Italian restaurant in Florida were finding out they'd all been fired, via a text message from their boss.

The deranged jerks at Sticky's Finger Joint are now being sued by a former employee, who alleges that her boss tricked her into consuming mushrooms, while asking her to try out a new recipe.

The New York Times' "Room for Debate" online feature is grappling with the news that Sushi Yasada Yasuda—where lunch bills seem to run in the triple figures—has implemented a no-tipping policy, because it pays its staff full salary and benefits, as is the "custom in Japan."

At long last, the provincial burg of Manhattan will soon be home to an "elite 'clubhouse'" restaurant specifically for hedge fund guys. It will be called "the entire borough of Manhattan." Haha, a joke. No, it will be called hell.

Midtown Manhattan sushi joint Sushi Yasuda, acclaimed for its authentic Japanese dining experience, is taking its Far East ambiance a step further — by eliminating tips.

Waitress CeCe Bruce wasn't having the best of Wednesdays working the morning shift at an Indianapolis Steak 'n Shake.

Which comes first—wanting to commit adultery, or a taste for the cold butter, cumbersome menus, and slippery leather seating of overpriced midtown restaurants? Who is to know if one prompted the other, but the two are related.

A pan-Asian restaurant in Hockessin, Delaware, is attempting to rebuild its reputation after it spent the last several months attacking customers on social networks using curse words and racial slurs.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

According to Zagat, "'Sharing" is the thing at this "rustic" bi‑level Villager," but an Alta pastry chef might have shared a little more than diners asked for at the pricey tapas restaurant.

After Obamacare passed, a broad variety of employers—including many of America's Most Asshole-ish Bosses—are going so far as to lay off employees in anticipation of the new health care costs they'd have to pay. Well, good news: business owners can just leave their employees uninsured. Problem solved!