This whole mess appears to be tangentially related to AA's never ending feud with lawyer Keith Fink, the go-to guy for disgruntled former AA employees who want to file lawsuits. The company has itself been trying to discredit Fink in return, hence its very urgent desire for some good press. The emails below (says AA's flack: "Our position is that those are unauthenticated e-mails") show a back and forth convo between an AA PR man (Ryan Holiday) and its finance chief (Adrian Kowalewski), trying to round up a good quote for a story. The bit about the company almost going bankrupt is what has the SEC investigating now:

>—-— Original Message —-—
>From: Ryan Holiday
>To: Adrian Kowalewski
>Cc: Candace Keene
>Sent: Wed Dec 24 13:08:23 2008
>Subject: Solution
>
>Adrian -
>
>I don't believe Maya used any other AA sources for her story and since this
>was a profile piece on the company, that's probably not good. For that, I
>had hoped you two would be able to connect briefly so she wouldn't be
>relying on past misinformation, a la the LA Times layoff piece or the WSJ.
>It didn't work out which is fine.
>
>Do you think you could please send her one positive, general statement about
>the financial direction and structure of the company before this two hour
>deadline? She will need it (although she likely won't admit it) and it would
>solve this problem.
>
>
>Ryan

>—-— Original Message —-—
>From: Adrian Kowalewski
>To: Ryan Holiday
>Cc: Candace Keene
>Sent: Wed Dec 24 13:23:08 2008
>Subject: Re: Solution
>
>Dude, it's Christmas Eve and I'm at the airport. Are you kidding me? I never
>gave any indication I would be able to get around to this in a timely
>manner.

>—-— Original Message —-—
>From: Ryan Holiday
>To: Adrian Kowalewski
>Cc: Candace Keene
>Sent: Wed Dec 24 13:28:41 2008
>Subject: Re: Solution
>
>Adrian,
>
>I'm sorry, I know but this woman's questions have been in going on three
>weeks. She had a deadline and confirmation and there is a story. This was a
>15 minute thing.
>
>Ryan

>—-— Original Message —-—
>From: Adrian Kowalewski
>To: Ryan Holiday
>Cc: Candace Keene
>Sent: Wed Dec 24 13:33:04 2008
>Subject: Re: Solution
>
>
>1. We almost went bankrupt last Friday. I'm sorry but I was busy with that
>for the last several weeks.
>2. I've been sick and occupied with other company matters since Friday
>because we're hardly out of the woods on #1.
>3. It's the holiday.
>
>If you want to handle these questions and it's only 15 minutes then please
>go ahead.

>—-— Original Message —-—
>From: Ryan HolidWeay
>To: Adrian Kowalewski
>Sent: Wed Dec 24 13:44:19 2008
>Subject: Re: Solution
>
>Adrian,
>
>Dude I understand. If you can't do it then you can't do it, I'm only trying
>to avoid more of these press problems and stay on good terms with the
>outlets that Fink uses to hurt the company over and over. I already spoke
>with her multiple times and gave her a tour but it wouldn't be right for me
>to pontificate on some of the more fragile financial issues that her piece
>was going to deal with. Appreciate you giving it a shot, it will be fine.
>
>Have a nice couple days here,
>Ryan

UPDATE: Ryan Holiday emails us:

I'd print the stolen emails if I had them too I guess, but would it be fair to give us a photo that isn't a parody done by someone else?

http://americanapparel.net/presscenter/ads/samples/bigs/american_apparel_ad_noise_290808.jpg

Just saying,
Ryan

Since the photo was the biggest problem he had with this post, we changed it for him.

"Chinese Democracy," the notoriously long-in-coming Guns N' Roses album, hasn't turned out to be the big hit that Best Buy Co. expected when it scored the exclusive rights to sell the CD in the United States.

That's bad news for the nation's biggest electronics chain by sales, which paid millions of dollars up front for 1.3 million copies of an album that has sold just 318,000 copies in the U.S. during its first two weeks in stores — and looks destined for bargain bins.

GnR blames the internet! A devious blogger just pleaded guilty to leaking tracks from the album early, and he has received his punishment from the US justice system. So starting tomorrow, sales better take off.

Why does Axl Rose wish coal in the stockings of Best Buy employees' children? [WSJ]

A complaint filed today in New York State Supreme Court in the Bronx on behalf of survivors of the fallen worker, Jdimytai Damour, claims that besides failing to provide adequate security, Wal-Mart "engaged in specific marketing and advertising techniques to specifically attract a large crowd and create an environment of frenzy and mayhem," according to published reports.

Wal-Mart's ad agency would consider that an honor! At least one of those frenzy-inducing ads was still running well after Damour's death. When framed as a cold, calculating, malicious act by Wal-Mart, the charge may sound borderline ludicrous, like something a lawyer throws in just in case; but Ad Age points out that there's been a longtime campaign to try to get stores to stock adequate merchandise on Black Friday, so shoppers don't feel the need to trample each other to get those few super-cheap TVs in the back of the store. That's not a bad idea at all. [Ad Age; pic via]

"We found that 85% of guys think their hair is pretty good, but more than half of women don't agree," says David Rubin, director of Unilever hair care. Axe's new line "meets guys' needs and provides a service to women," he says.

That service: turning your man into a preening douchebag. The real deal here is that male hair care is one of the last remaining unexploited categories in the grooming and personal care products sector, and Axe—owned by humongo company Unilever—is trying to create new demand. Consider very carefully the implications of this line from a research report:

"Satisfaction and complacency are barriers to sales growth in men's shampoos and conditioners."

Yes, the problem here is that men are satisfied. In order to solve this problem, the marketing machine will make men unsatisfied. Then they will buy shitty Axe products and act even more self-obsessed. This is the problem with marketing, in a nutshell. [WSJ; pic via]

[In new Target ads,] Watching a $13 DVD on the living room sofa is celebrated as “the new movie night.” A $59.99 bicycle is presented as “the new commute.” There are similar salutes to people who eat in rather than dine out, cut their children’s hair and turn a backyard tent into “the new family room.”

Hooverville bad. [NYT; Pic via]

Industry revenue has been largely flat to down in the past five years due to the gradual migration of listeners to MP3 players and online radio — not to mention advertisers' simultaneous migration to other niche media such as cable TV, web portals and, to a smaller extent, satellite radio. Its two core advertisers — the automotive and retail industries — are being slammed the hardest by the financial crisis, particularly at the local level, which is where radio makes more than 65% of its total ad revenue.

There you have it: competition, along with a distinct lack of blowout special sales at the local Wal-Mart and Ford dealership, are combining to take away ad money, even as the slack-jawed American audience tunes in with greater and greater frequency.

Save us somehow, Wendy Williams! [Ad Age]

HBO. Crate & Barrel. Brooks Brothers. Denny's. Equinox. Even Mary-fucking-Poppins. All are running recession-themed ads, like some ill-informed country relative who fills all awkward pauses by repeating what they saw the other day on the tee-vee.

For instance, television commercials from the Walt Disney Company, selling tickets for the Broadway musical “Mary Poppins,” feature members of the audience who make remarks like, “You think of everything going on in the world, and it just becomes magic” and “So well worth the money, and the uplifting of the spirit in these difficult times.”

Let's get together and fix this thing before it's too late, people. [pic via NYT]

"Suppose your Sim had a tough day, or the Sim kids are out of control, maybe the Sim worked out — that could be a moment for that particular [brand of] pain relief," [a Sims branding exec] said. "And they take that pain relief and feel restored, better rested ... less on edge."

Possibly the saddest quote ever. [Ad Age]

Find more videos like this on AdGabber

[via Adrants]

It's not the luxury companies that are cutting back on their ads, you see; Oscar de la Renta, for example, increased his ad spending 15% to bring you news of his new $5,000 handbags. Rather, it's "midtier marketers" like bebe and Nordstrom's that are responsible for the decline.

So while fashion magazines are totems for a certain segment of the overclass, their suffering is not a sign of fewer rich people. Rather, it's yet another indicator of the decline of the aspirational middle class. As goes W magazine, so goes the American dream.

[WSJ]

[via Copyranter]

CBS signed up Roehm to be a judge on Jingles, a new show where people compete to make the best ad jingles (sounds awful). But the show has already been "postponed" before it even launched, because the network needs more time to promote (kill?) it. So how did Roehm, famous mostly for her spectacular failure on one of marketing's biggest stages, get the gig?

According to executives familiar with the matter, the "Jingles" casting crew was in a tizzy as of just a month ago, sending out dispatches to ad folks citing a "time crunch" in assembling a judges' panel, with a specific eye on pinning down a female ad or marketing executive.

Oh, and part of the criteria was the hotness factor: "It is television, therefore, being attractive would be a bonus," said one e-mail dispatch from Sam Gollestani, casting director for the host and judges.

The article also points out that every similar show has failed. Should be great!

[Ad Age, Forbes]

[VBS.TV via Animal; fake ad via CC Insider]

[Also: See episode 7 of the VBS series, where the head of the Minutemen advocates nuking Mexico. Wise!]

The big award went to work for Uniqlo, the Japanese clothing retailer that creepily resembles a Far East version of American Apparel. With "Uniqlock," you can watch many Japanese people doing dances while wearing Uniqlo clothes, and that is too revolutionary to be put into words, almost!

"The industry is always talking about viral," said Titanium jury panelist Jean-Remy von Matt, Founder & Member of The Board. "The Uniqlo work is viral branded utility. It's so simple, smart and beautiful. All over the world people have it on their desktops, giving them a brand presence in countries where their products don't even exist."

Just what every company wants: huge popularity "in countries where their products don't even exist." The future is about brand presence, not about making money! Here's a YouTube clip of Uniqlo's [Robot] dancers in action. At least American Apparel ads have naked people.

[Portfolio]

[via Adrants]

Along 34th Street between Fifth Avenue and Avenue of the Americas, 15 stores flooded the sidewalk with their air-conditioning. On a three-block stretch of Broadway in SoHo, from Houston Street to Broome Street, the number was 29. Among the energy wasters were major retailers like Steve Madden, H & M, Foot Locker, Aerosoles, Lane Bryant, Ann Taylor Loft, Arden B., Aldo, Uniqlo, Esprit and Zara.

Not Lane Bryant! There's a proposed law to fine retailers that do this, but it doesn't look too popular politically. More effective is the "asshole customer" route. Think of it as a free chance to berate Steve Madden.

[NYT]

The casualwear brand, called LL Cool J for Sears, will include girls and boys, juniors and young men's wear, according to (WWD).

Much catchier than "FUBU." LL's main challenge? Living up to the standards set by Latin TV star Lucy Pereda:

Sears previously launched 97 multicultural concept stores in its stores, and has offered African-American-themed items in its catalogs. It also has sold labels by Latin TV star Lucy Pereda, as well as well-known designers Liz Claiborne and BCBG's Max Azria.

Meanwhile, analysts expect another dismal quarter at Sears when the Hoffman Estates-based retailer reports earnings on Thursday.

[Chicago Sun-Times via Multicult Classics]