Gawker
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Pitch of the day
'Amazon women live in huts massage gringos all over except butts(etc.)'
A successful PR pitch starts with a subject line that grabs the eye. Congratulations to Eric Schwartz, who pitched us a spa review story with the subject line above. Aspiring writers, take note. Here's a taste of the story's magic: More »
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Comment by BookishLookish: I heard the massage is wonderful, but if you reach for a tit while you're on the table, a capybara... 9 Responses | Other threads
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the cinema
An Early Star Trek Rave
The Daily Mail took an early look at the new Star Trek prequel movie due out in May. "Effusive" does not quite describe the review: More » -
why so critical?
Watchmen Reviews: 'Maybe It's Better to Grow Up'
So how is this biggest-movie-ever Watchmen superhero flick? Well, not so good if many critics are to be believed. Should have been kept in holy reverence as a comic book (or graphic novel or whatever).
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watchmen
'Watchmen' Review Shocker: Geeks Will Love It!
While its writer denies he's reviewed anything, the unofficial first take on Watchmen is live at Time. The verdict: It's destined for fanboy greatness. Who knew? More » -
the cinema
Tom Cruise in Valkyrie: 'Distractingly Bad'
That's the headline on Associated Press' review of the Scientology bigwig's new "let's kill Hitler!" film. Everyone (well, lotsa people) want to slam this film, and the AP's early dig is hard to top. More » -
the theatre
So, Is Katie Holmes Good In That Play Or Whatever?
The latest Broadway revival of Arthur Miller's All My Sons opened last night! It stars John Lithgow and Patrick Wilson, who some are saying are quite good, Oscar winner Dianne Wiest, maybe a bit off, and some girl named Katie Holmes. As she's a newcomer to the Broadway scene, and is apparently married to some sort of mega moviestar turned Scientologist crazy named "Tom Cruise," let's take a moment to at look the top critics' takes on this exciting new starlet's big bow. More »
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Comment by SinisterRouge: Why are women so often described as "shrill?" WTF? 9 Responses | Other threads
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michael's
Frank Bruni Is Not Scared To Say The Food At Michael's Sucks
The ultimate confluence of a prestige media restaurant reviewer and prestige media restaurant has finally occurred: Frank Bruni has reviewed Michael's for the Times. At this point we should skip all the background, because those who don't appreciate the import of this moment will never be invited to Michael's anyhow. Suffice it to say that the city's most famous critic visited its most famous media power lunch spot, and, in a blinding flash of meta-media honesty, declared that it sucks big time: More »
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Comment by Senor_Wences: I prefer their parent location in Wisconsin. I bump into the Mayor of Sheboygan there all the time. Sometimes the... 2 Responses | Other threads
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james brady
James Brady Shocked To Find David Carr Was On Drugs
Hawk-faced elderly man James Brady, the name-dropping veteran of 600 media outlets who has now eased into his retirement job as Forbes' "media columnist" (ha), is primarily skilled at being befuddled about the point of things (though he hasn't lost his name-dropping talent). So faced with an early copy of former crackhead-turned Times columnist David Carr's (well-reviewed) new book—which is not, as Brady hoped, a volume of media name-dropping—Brady panics in print like the senile Uncle Junior in The Sopranos: shoot the bad man and run hide in the closet! More »
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Comment by SpyMagician: Hawk-faced? James Brady is dead-ringer for a cleanly shorn Dr. Zaius. more » | Other threads
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the hills
Lost 'Siskel and Ebert' Review Elevates 'The Hills' to Ranks of the Critically Acclaimed
A memorial rummage through the Siskel and Ebert At the Movies archives over the weekend turned up a never-before-seen clip making their program's recent dissolution all the more lamentable. To wit, behold the critical duo in their prime, debating the merits of the then fledgling MTV series The Hills. "The movie paints a tragic picture of mindless, aimless, violent and destructive behavior," Ebert notes, nevertheless endorsing the saga as a trenchant read of contemporary youth culture. His late partner Gene Siskel concurred, clearly challenged by the "hyperrealism" of its internecine 20-something Hollywood warfare and Spencer Pratt's complex douchebaggery; in their squirms and haunted eyes, the two bring an emotional resonance likely to stop miles short of new At the Movies hosts Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz. And so what if Siskel and Ebert's insights sound suspiciously like those from their 1995 review of Kids? Greatness makes its own coincidence. [Songs About Buildings and Food via Fimoculous] -
Bottlemania
How Bottled Water Hypnotized Us All
Bottled water is a bit like smoking: deep down, we all knew there was something wrong with it from day one. Environmentalism has been a widespread subject in our public consciousness for more than 30 years now. Did anyone really believe that getting our water out of 16-ounce plastic bottles would be an efficient long-term solution for humanity? Despite that, the bottled water industry has done an admirable job using sly marketing magic to make us all feel like chemical-ridden cheapskates for drinking out of the tap. And a new book called Bottlemania breaks down the corporate spin techniques in a straightforward way that already has me drinking exclusively out of the toilet: More »
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Comment by EnricaLabarixair: Remember the Dasani case from a couple of years ago in the UK? Where they were getting the water... more » | Other threads
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reviews
Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight: 'Rave and Rage and Purge Acting'
So finally the next Batman film, The Dark Knight, lurches into theaters this Friday. Anticipation is intense, as Batman Begins, Christopher Nolan's reboot of the franchise, was such a dark success. Of course, though, the real reason to see the film is Heath Ledger as uber villain The Joker. The buddingly talented actor died all too young in a SoHo apartment this past winter, leaving this as his last complete performance. So yeah, that's all we really care about when surveying the early reviews (we already know that Christian Bale will be gruff and brooding, Morgan Freeman sage and weary, Maggie Gyllenhaal unsurprisingly better than Katie Holmes, the film as a whole loud and jangly). So what do the critics say? Mostly, that he's fantastic. The increasingly-irrelevant Peter Travers, of Rolling Stone, calls the performance "mad-crazy-brilliant." The Davids Edelstein and Denby worry that Ledger stepped perhaps too far into the abyss to access the character. Basically, we're excited. Read a digest of the reviews after the jump. More »
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Comment by bugupit: I think Bale's pretty great. Check out The Machinist. more » | Other threads
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hancock
Is 'Hancock' Half-Cocked?
I'll admit it, I thought Hancock looked pretty cool. It's got a fun premise, a great trailer, good effects, Will Smith in full-on superstar mode, and even Jason Bateman. In short, it seemed like the perfect summer entertainment. Then, a few weeks ago that Variety review came out, and all was not well. Todd McCarthy said "this odd and perplexing aspiring tentpole will provide a real test of Smith's box office invincibility." Suddenly Hancock seemed a little shaky. If Hollywood's hometown paper didn't love it, who would? Well, opening day has finally arrived, the rest of the critics have weighed in, and it seems that Hancock is not just bad, but a big steaming pile of shit. It managed to scare up a scant 34% at Rotten Tomatoes and that's only slightly better than Drillbit Taylor! Stick around after the jump to read a collection of the prickliest critical barbs. More » -
frank bruni
How Not To Charm A Restaurant Critic
Frank Bruni is pissed! The New York Times' omnipotent restaurant critic (pictured) today reviews a new Tribeca restaurant named Ago, which is owned in part by actor Robert De Niro. And Bruni's experience there is proof for the entire restaurant business that no matter how popular, expensive, or exclusive your place is, it is still quite possible to receive a terrible review if you act like an idiot. Please: Learn some lessons from Ago's fiasco. Here is what not to do when your restaurant is being reviewed:
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porn 2.0
Deep Inside Zivity: What Kind Of Porn Site Does $7 Million Buy? [NSFW]
We've been itching for a chance to peek inside the members' section of Zivity ever since we heard about their $7 million in funding, since nothing gets us more worked up than a throbbing, swollen seven figure price tag. Okay, actually we've been itching for a chance to peek inside since we heard that there would be naked models there too ... but all that cold hard capital made things all the more intriguing. Just what kind of porn site can you make with $7 million anyway? What kind of masturbatory wonders does that kind of money buy? [Fleshbot]
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By Lux AlptraumComment by dllacina: I think the real question is do they rape their photographers of all their usage rights like SG? Because... more » | Other threads
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books
College Professors Very Concerned About How Their Students Fuck
"College students today enter a low hook-up culture when they leave the classroom," warns Harvard professor Harvey Mansfield in his WSJ review of the newest overwrought book about college kids fucking. "In case you don't know, a hook-up is a brief sexual encounter between two partners who don't necessarily know each other before and who don't necessarily want to know each other after." Sounds costly. "And it's free." Well, that's a bonus! "The sort of transient sex that once was available to men only for money can now be had, without paying, from college women - as long as the man is a fellow student and minimally artful about his approach." Good lord, is that new? I don't remember that. "If he is thwarted in one overture, he may try another with a reasonable prospect of success." That, sadly, is just the intro paragraph. More »
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Comment by immegulate: Actually, I'm pretty sure that a lot of the students he is discussing leave the classroom and enter a high... more » | Other threads
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bloggers
Magisterial King of All Online Reviewers Reaps $900
Insane creatures of all different backgrounds and creeds have been sucked into the seamy world of online reviewing, but no one has come out quite as shiny as blogger Dave Cassel. Some write online reviews for the love of sharing their views with others, but not Dave. He does it all for the zeroes in his bank account. For 100 days writer marketing website Helium.com offered all users $3 per review to review anything, and Dave went haywire. All told Cassel churned out about 200,000 words over the course of 300 articles, weighing in on everything from Cyndi Lauper's Christmas album to the classic 70s series Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp and Thomas Wolfe's poetry. And the reviews, though often centered on absurd subjects, are far from terrible. Cassel's review of the syndicated Natasha Henstridge comedy She Spies has us wanting to pick up a season set: "It was intentionally unbelievable. But it was also a lot of fun." A fitting epitaph for your accomplishment, you brave bloggeur you. [Destiny-land]
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Comment by DorothyMantooth: @CaptainFantastic: That's cause he has 357 friends & 214 followers. That's a lot! (Also, confidential to IT Warriors: still not seeing... more » | Other threads
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movies
Respectable Publications: "Zombie Strippers"
First of all, it's just great that the New York Times has a headline today that reads "Zombie Strippers." It has to, cause that's the name of a new movie. But it would be great under any circumstances. The Times' stuffy assessment is that pretty much everyone "can sit this one out." But would they be saying that if they were facing down Zombie Jenna Jameson who was intent on eating their face? These are the questions that "ivory tower" journalists don't like to think about. The trailer for this thrill ride of a lifetime is below—it looks like it could be good! No it doesn't. More »
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Comment by famousauthor: Let me know when it comes out on DVD for a dollar. more » | Other threads
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science
Do Magic Wake Up Pills Exist?
Don't you wish there was a magic pill you could take when you go to bed that would make you wake up on time, feeling refreshed, without an alarm clock? Well according to medical science, there is no such thing. Sorry. But according to 37 year-old mom of three Cathy Beggan from New Jersey, her special time-release blend of herbs and vitamins can do just that. And a Daily News reporter says they really work, science be damned! More »
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Comment by VoxPopuli: @adminslave: Oh good - I'm not the only one who does that. The worst part is having to explain to... more » | Other threads
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music
Psychic Abilities
Maxim got in a lot of trouble for giving the new Black Crowes album a two-and-a-half star review without even listening to the whole thing. But now the album is out, and, uncannily, that is exactly the rating it deserves. [New York]
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Comment by famousauthor: It's all in the blink. Malcolm Gladwell should be a music critic. more » | Other threads
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lodging places
Murder In Bay Ridge Murder Hotel!
The Best Western Gregory Hotel in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn offers high speed internet access, spacious meeting rooms, and free continental breakfast. Also offered: Murder! Yesterday the body of a 52-year-old man was found in the bathtub at the hotel, with his mouth gagged with duct tape. "The police said they were investigating the death as suspicious." Well, they know better than me, I guess. But hey, it's the same hotel where a 26-year-old man was stabbed to death in December by his lady friend after sex got too rough. Sounds like the lesson is, don't stay here if you are into kinky sex and your age is any multiple of the number 26. Or, more likely, the killers were looking for the guy (from, predictably, New England) who wrote this incredibly entitled yet asinine online review of—we remind you—a Best Western in Brooklyn: More »
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Comment by HiredGoons: Finally things are getting back to normal in this city! more » | Other threads
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reviews
The Only Rambo Review You'll Ever Need
Though we did try to communicate the level of pre-release excitement that consumed us during the run-up to Friday's debut of Rambo by sharing charts and pointing out near-unanimous critical support for our breathless anticipation of what we were sure would prove an instant classic, we never got around to offering our post-screening thoughts on Sylvester Stallone's opus. But rather than bore you with fifteen uninterrupted, giddy minutes of mimicking the sound of heads burst like overripe watermelons by high-caliber machine-gun fire, allow us to instead substitute the above, more considered appraisal of the movie's merits by a leading online critic. Enjoy. More » -
after the fall
This pie chart of Anthony Tommasini's Times review of the Met's new production of Prokofiev's War and Peace really makes the review look more awesome than it actually is. And the production too probably, though we can't really speak to that. [parterre box]
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By PareeneComment by clergymen from molluscs: @lucio: ugh, insomnia English. more » | Other threads
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tropes of the slope
From the first MenuPages review of Park Slope Restaurant, a diner in that oft-caricatured neighborhood: "Thankfully a dying breed. Ever since buying my brownstone here a year ago and becoming a resident of Park Slope, I've been put off by the type of greasy spoon this place represents. Thankfully, month by month, these types of places are being pushed out to make way for more refined establishments more suitable for the next gen of Park Slope: educated, affluent and discerning. No thanks, I don't need burned toast, mushy bread, manufactured pasta in red sauce and other tired dishes just because the're [sic] cheap. I want to pay a lot for my food and get a lot for what I've spent. When my broker said 'Park Slope is the next Chelsea," and I said "but what about the Park Slope Restaurant?' she waved her and dismissively and said 'the days of that place and the cheesy dollar stores that go along with it are numbered.' I hope so. I'm growing impatient." Even if this is parody, it's still chilling.
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By Emily GouldComment by forgetitjake: Excellent new format for hating on douchebag subclasses. Would be more convincing if "Prescott" had ever posted any other restaurant... more » | Other threads
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the skin trade
SuicideGirls Magazine: It's 'The Believer' With Boobs
The second issue of the new SuicideGirls Magazine is out, and it's just as high-minded as the first, starting with the subtitle: "Anthology of model-annotated pinup photography and conversations with notable thinkers, artists and authors excerpted from the pioneering website of the same name." No, we are not making this up. Let's peek inside! More » -
reviews
A review of the cover story in the September Harper's: "I'd love to be able to summarize the 11-page piece for you, but given the author's penchant for language like 'wielding bathymetry collected by its petroleum directorate' I'll have to give up, and say that Mr. (or Ms.??) Mr. Funk's previous article in Harper's, 'I was a Chinese Internet Addict' sounds like a lot more fun." [MediaPost]
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Comment by the earl grey: Im much more interested in sept harpers bazaar espec lindbergh/coco/malevich edit more » | Other threads
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defamer
On Licenses, Badness, And Disturbingly Hirsute, Unfunny Clergymen
You hardly need this dangerously low Tomatometer to tell you that License to Wed might not live up to the considerable comedic promise of most Robin Williams vehicles, but in the interest of piling on, we present this round-up of headlines exploring virtually every possible negative permutation of badness, legal documents, and the sacrament of marriage: More » -
defamer
Uterus-Inspired Movie Poster Most Entertaining Thing About 'License to Wed'
Today's informed consumers of Hollywood product are so barraged with information meant to influence their ticket-buying decisions that they hardly have time to read entire reviews, much less reviews of films sure to disappoint. And so in the interest of assisting holiday weekend moviegoers wisely spend their entertainment dollars, we turn to CNN.com's always-efficient Story Highlights box, which with a mere three bullet points has tidily eliminated one unpromising option from the crowded multiplex marketplace. A quibble, however: Assigning blame to the film's four credited writers unfairly ignores the hard work of studio executives who contributed to the projects failure by giving thoughtful notes like, "Can Robin Williams be a little less priest-y? But not totally unpriesty. This is Meet the Priest, after all. Reverend! Meet the Reverend. We don't want the Catholics picketing." More » -
attention trust
I bet AttenTV would have been awesome if it hadn't broken my browser
NICK DOUGLAS — As I sit here in a sunny San Francisco cafe, bored with the fire-eating buskers and queer nuns that crowd my city, my mind wanders to the heady days I once spent at the cubicle farm, standing behind a co-worker and watching them browse the internet. Now that's excitement! Keep your strippers and performance artists and give me the three seconds' thrill of anticipation between each click of a link and the subsequent page load! If only, I always thought, I could recreate this experience at home, so I could watch people fritter away their time all day. This, dear readers, is why I am so disappointed to be banned from Attentrust's AttenTV, which lets an Internet user — wait for it — WATCH WHAT PEOPLE ARE WATCHING. More »
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By Nick DouglasComment by sethgoldstein: Nick Thanks for trying out the service. You are right- the signup process for broadcasting your clickstream is apocryphal. ... more » | Other threads
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jaxtr
You can call me, babe, but you can't have my number
NICK DOUGLAS — Some time when modern folk started storing our phones in our pants, we decided we no longer wanted everyone to know our numbers. At the same time, we started inventing ways to use phones that didn't involve that distasteful habit of actually talking on phones: voicemail, Skype, and texting from computers. The chimera of all this tech is Jaxtr, a service that lets you take calls, texts, or voicemail from anyone on the web, without handing them your phone number. So I tried it. Go ahead, leave me a message. More »
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By Nick DouglasComment by wglass: The explanation for the weird city names is simple. The programmers are lazy. Rather than presenting a simple... more » | Other threads
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kurt andersen
Kurt Andersen's 'Heyday' Review Roundup
So Heyday, the new historical yarn from Kurt Andersen (the craggy-faced Tom Edison of satire!) took a bit of a pasting from the Times' Janet Maslin. It fared considerably better in that paper's ass-kissy Book Review. But how's it playing elsewhere? After the jump, an abundant yet random selection of recent reviews. More »
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By abalk2Comment by Charmer11222: Why do people treat Anderson like he pisses champaign and shits strawberries? Can we review Kurt Anderson's resume'? Spy Magazine: folded,... more » | Other threads
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technorati
Technorati watching: Can't...tear...eyes...from...vloggers
After ripping apart Technorati's first video blog, I avoided watching for two, maybe three episodes of this attempt at a news show by staffers at the leading blog search engine. Then someone sent another clip. Damn it, here we go with: More »
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By Nick DouglasComment by academik: This reminds me of a story about the reason Christopher Walken delivers his lines in such an interesting manner... he... more » | Other threads
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technorati
Technorati's new daily vlog: Less talk, more techno
Technorati, the leading weblog search engine, entered the video news "space" (ugh) today with the Technorati Daily Vlog. Sadly, it's all last week's news with a few blog URLs thrown in. Below is the video, but after that are six reasons you shouldn't bother watching. More »
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By Nick DouglasComment by hp: It's a shame that Technorati is forcing Liz into such a staid host format because she is a master of... more » | Other threads
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wired
Loose Wires: Industry of Cool
- Missed out on every significant Valleywag post since June? Forbes writer Erika Brown wraps up the creep of "cool" into Silicon Valley. By finishing with a quote from Almost Famous, she's won me over. [Forbes]
- In yet another how-to, a blogger names five things your new business shouldn't waste money on. [Instigator Blog]
- Ex-Facebook employee Noah Kagan reviews a book about the rise of PayPal. Recommendation: read it. [OK Dork]
- Hahahahahaexplosivebatteries. [Blaugh]
- Rocketboom's correspondent reports from the Wired Nextfest, where weird actually means cool. [Rocketboom]
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valleyschwag
June/July Valleyschwag review: 5 stars for cookies
The point of schwag (and the reason the Valley is buried in it) is to remind a consumer of an otherwise ethereal product or service. The less physical (or popular) the thing the schwag markets, the more the burden of cost falls on the schwag giver. (This is why Apple can sell its t-shirts while, say, Browster.com must give them away.) More » -
reviews
Poseidon's Buoyancy Problem
Of course, not every headline from today's round of Poseidon reviews oh-so-cleverly coopts the movie's sinking ship premise. It just seems that way: More » -
sundance
Defamer At Sundance: The One Sentence Movie Reviews
In the initial installment of what will be a recurring feature during our festival coverage, we present our first One Sentence Film Reviews, which we've been soliciting from people at least as inebriated as ourselves. More »
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