The Post reports that a woman was recently arrested at the Duane Reade on 94th and Third for stealing pain medication. Addiction is indeed an albatross; you have to be pretty hard up to commit yourself to finding a goddamn thing in a Duane Reade. We're thinking that perhaps the Post had some extra space to fill…

We knew you people were sluts, but we had no idea just exactly how slutty you actually were. Barr Pharmaceuticals has announced that Plan B, the morning-after instabortion pill for ladies who are easy or drunk enough to buy the "shooting blanks" line, is selling far beyond their wildest dreams. They project $80…

Here's the headline the New York Post chose to run with their story about Danielle Salzberg, named interim principal of Khalil Gibran International Academy, "the city's controversial Arabic-themed school." (Or at least it's what they went with this morning; they've gone for more secular "NEW PRINCIPAL 'CHOSEN'" on the…

This morning on the subway I actually LOLed at the Post article about Al Gore's son's pot and pills arrest: "Being the former vice president's son did little to blunt the charges." Ha! But then, I always laugh at pot jokes because I used to be a huge pothead until, um, about two weeks ago. Anyway, the Post's other…

Getting the wood in this morning's New York Post is this tragic story about the controversy caused by a tourism campaign for the state of Israel launched in conjunction with Maxim's "Women of the Israeli Defense Forces" photoshoot. (You really picked up a class organization, Kent Brownridge!) We're less concerned…

Today's Keith Kelly column reports about the decent doings of Ron Galotti, the former Conde Nast exec about who it is illegal to write without mentioning that he was the "real-life model for the fiction Mr. Big" in "Sex and the City." Ron's been on a rural kick of late, and the paper provides a shot of our man astride…

The makers of Boost Plus Nutritional Energy Drink are surely offering up audible thanks to the Lord this morning, as the Post reports that a Harlem man is suing them because the protein shake gave him " an erection that would not subside." (After they pay up, they'll market the hell out of their boner-improving…

Today's New York Post does a pretty good job headlining this story on the recent discovery that Viagra may aid travelers in combating jet lag. Still, too good to resist. Here are our starting five. You can surely do better.

The Post finally gives the wood to this week's revelation that Jim McGreevey (former New Jersey governor, Gay American, etc.) plans to become an Episcopal priest. (The news gives the paper an opportunity to summarize the recent conflict in the Anglican faith over the ordination of gays. It may be the most informative…