Although the rent on Manhattan apartments is far too expensive for you to afford, look on the bright side: the prospect of buying a Manhattan apartment is also a laughable dream that recedes ever farther from the realm of possibility (for you).

If you were wealthy enough to afford your own private jet, probably the last thing you would want to do is stock it with things that reminded you of Abercrombie & Fitch, right?

I've done my fair share of joking about dipshit society folks here at Gawker, but it would be disingenuous of me to rip on teenage social climbers, sorority rush coaches, and Gatsbabies without first disclosing my own strange encounter with with the New York Society of Mayflower Descendants.

In this world—the real world, where human beings are made of skin and bones and plasma—you are one of the many poor souls out there fighting to get (or keep) a job, to keep your bank account in the black just so that you can keep the water running and the lights on. You worry about the long-term future. How will I…

Not to be outdone by the New York Times' Ubermenschtastic profile of the Brant Brothers, the New York Observer is doing the world one better and introducing us to the world of... the Gatsbabies, three "preening prepsters" whose flamboyance is taking New York by storm, except that it's not taking New York by storm and…

We at Gawker have warned you previously that the New York Times Style section exists solely to introduce you to society's biggest shitheads, and yesterday's profile of the Brant Brothers is no exception. At this point, it feels as if the Times is going out of its way to troll us all. No one at that paper could…

We already have pet therapy, pet psychics, and pet yoga, but if you're really jonesin' for a cause that all of your friends can make fun of you for, look no further: raw food for dogs is gaining momentum.

Pavel Durov, founder of the popular Russian Facebook-alike VKontakte, took a bread-and-circuses approach to generosity over the weekend, spending time with VK's vice president tossing paper airplanes made of money out of the company's St. Petersburg offices.

A few weeks ago, Mitt Romney stuffed his foot in his mouth after proving to the common folk at a NASCAR race that he was a fan of the sport because he has "some great friends who are NASCAR team owners." This week, he somehow crammed the other foot in there by repeating almost literally the exact same thing about the…

The remarkable thing about Mitt Romney's foot-in-mouth moments is that Mitt Romney's foot-in-mouth moments almost always have to do with Mitt Romney admitting that he is dreadfully, dreadfully wealthy. Romney, for example, is "not concerned about the very poor." His wife Ann, for example, drives "a couple of…

SNL's on a rerun week, so the writers have plenty of time to prepare for the return of LiLo on March 3. But here's a quick sketch pitch: Replace Russian oligarch and presidential candidate Mikhail Prokhorov with Fred Armisen and run this actual segment from an actual Russian comedy show word-for-word. Do not change…

Ultra-fancy Miami craft fair Art Basel opened yesterday for private collectors and they're snatching up all the expensive modern art, including plenty of people buying five-figure photography prints as holiday gifts. I'd settle for a pair of gloves!

The rich: what the hell are they doing with their time, anyhow? Published reports indicate that the wealthy and successful among us are primarily engaged in two activities: teaching your college class, and eating cheap hamburgers.

Technology. Love. Love. Technology. Poking. IM-ing. Can we live in this interconnected powder-keg and give off sparks? These, and other pressing nuptial quandaries faced our embedded wedded bliss reporter Phyllis Nefler as she sifted through this week's Weddings and Celebrations.

You probably thought all of those Russian oligarchs were rotting in prison. Not Andrey Melnichenko, whose $300 million bomb-proof yacht will be obscenely hitting up the world's hottest beach spots this summer and spoiling less-rich men's vacations.

Speed, not quality, will determine how early we leave work today, and whether Emily and Doree are on the 1:39 Montauk train or the (frowny face!) 3:58 p.m. Emily's got to get to her women-only sharehouse (sensibly north of the highway) to check on her kombucha, which has been alone all week! And let's just say Doree…

"It seems a bit excessive to rent and completely redo an apartment for a single burst pipe," writes Manhattanite Jeffrey Hurley to, and in, New York Magazine. "Has the productivity of the construction industry brought people to this? I would've thought a week at a nice hotel would have sufficed to mop up some water…

In this week's issue of The Record, the student newspaper of the posh Riverdale prep school where all our bosses' bosses send their offspring, there's a very inspiring paean to free speech. It concerns Dr. Andrew Trees, whose "forced departure," according to letter-writer and fellow faculty member Dr. Peter Sheehy,…

Don't Christine and her mogul-hubs Steve Schwarzman look cute in their Rod Stewart 'n' floozy costumes? Debbie Bancroft thinks so. Her first party report of the season for Hampton Style pays slavish compliments not only to the Schwarzmans but a whole host of other rich folk, including "Wig Out" party host and Johnson…