Scott Walker, a bad governor from Wisconsin, became the second Republican candidate to drop out of the presidential race yesterday. Like Rick Perry, Walker was facing abysmal polling numbers and quickly running out of funds. Also like Perry, he was somehow considered a favorite in the race by certain pundits paid to…
Rick Perry, a doofus, became the first Republican presidential candidate to drop out of the 2016 race on Friday. After failing to raise enough money to pay his campaign staffers, and faced with the prospect of spending his second nationally televised debate at the equivalent of kids’ table, the former governor of…
After, let’s say, weeks of campaigning, Texas politician Rick Perry (sp?) has apparently dropped out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination. Few people remember, but this comes almost four years after another “Rick Perry” — a fellow Texan, no less — also dropped out of the race for the Republican…
Rick Perry is a day late and a literal dollar short to the Republican primaries—his campaign reportedly stopped paying staffers last week because he has no money left.
On Sunday, Rick Perry attempted to stand out from the (already spectacularly incompetent) pool of GOP hopefuls with one of the dumbest responses to the Lafayette shooting yet. In an interview with CNN, the Texas governor said that “it makes a lot of sense” to allow more people to carry guns into gun-free zones like…
AMES, IOWA—Abortion. Abominable gays. And god’s abiding dislike of the current Democratic administration. Hey 90s kids: remember 1996? Remember the Culture Wars? They’re back.
“I am proud to live in a country that has an African-American president,” swaggering moron and Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry said last week. Impressed, black Americans? There’s more!
Rick Perry’s presidential campaign launched today on the premise that you don’t need to be able to count to three as long as you can push the red button. But amid his militaristic orgy of self-praise, dumb media people had a dumb media argument about the emo twins flanking Perry. Caitlyn Jenner was involved.
He’s in! He’s got a website where he flaunts his geeker glasses and salutes a lot. Presumably he’s been working on his mnemonics, but hopefully not. Oh, happy day. Happy happy day. 2016, brothers. We will ride through the gates of Valhalla shiny and chrome. Witness me!
In a macabre attempt to push his platform, Texas Governor Rick Perry has suggested that Joan Rivers might still be alive had the clinic where her botched endoscopy was performed been held to the same stringent standards required under his controversial abortion law.
When Texas Gov. Rick Perry sent National Guard soldiers to the Mexico border to much fanfare earlier this summer, he couldn't say how long they'd be there. It turns out he also couldn't pay them: At least 50 soldiers haven't seen a paycheck and are getting sustenance and vehicle fuel from a local food bank.
Texas Gov. Rick Perry turned himself in this afternoon at the Travis County Jail in Austin. He was indicted on two felony charges late last Friday stemming from allegations that his office maneuvered to force Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg to resign from her position.
Washington Post columnist and professional liar Jennifer Rubin is tethered to reality by only the lightest of threads, which is why she understands that recently indicted swaggering moron Rick Perry has never looked stronger as a presidential candidate.
While making a statement in Austin on Saturday, Texas governor Rick Perry spoke out against his legal issues, having been indicted Friday on two charges of abuse of power. Perry, who according to reports appeared defiant, called the indictment "outrageous."
A state grand jury indicted Texas Gov. Rick Perry on two felony charges of abuse of power late Friday afternoon. The charges, one count each of abuse of official capacity and coercion of a public servant, stem from allegations that Perry tried to force Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg to resign in…
Governor Rick Perry, who is toying with the (very bad) idea of running for president again, plans to send 1,000 Texas National Guardsmen to secure the border. According to The Monitor, which obtained an internal memo detailing the plan, this will cost about $12 million a month.
"I'm more Jewish than you think I am," Gov. Rick Perry (R-Texas) tells the New York Times Magazine. "I read the part of the Bible that said the Jews are God's chosen people." This works in much the same way that reading Atlas Shrugged makes railroad tycoons of us all.
Rick Perry, presidential contender and the Republican Party's version of a Very Special Blossom Episode, said today he'd listen to scientific professionals on whether gay-conversion therapy works. Which is weird, since he thinks scientific professionals who study climate or uteruses are basically charlatans.
Blow-dried idiot and Texas Governor Rick "See My Glasses?" Perry has done some thinking, about these homos. Rick Perry is now prepared to answer your homosexual questions, in a hilariously poor fashion.
Earlier this week, Texas governor Rick Perry gloated that his "pro-business" policies allowed his state to steal 3,000 Toyota jobs from California. If true, that would be terrible public policy. But it now appears it's not true, which is even worse.
