How excited were you to see that story about Rick Perry calling on a mannequin during a Q&A session at South Carolina's Squat N' Gobble restaurant today? What a moron, that Rick Perry. That's precisely what you thought.
Adorable Texas bigot Rick Perry quickly decamped to the forests of his home state last night to "reassess" his campaign, which is usually what you'd say when you're dropping out but need a couple of days to raise cash and pay off the bills. But Rick Perry is clearly too insane to concentrate on such things for more…
We really do want to ignore the latest Rick Perry ads as they come in, but how can we ignore such odd scripts? (Also: we don't actually want to ignore them, ever.) Take this new one, featuring a children's cartoon, titled "Fox." It's a blanket attack against his opponents who've spent time in Congress. And it opens…
It's hard to imagine that Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, and Rick Santorum were hoping to be days away from the Iowa caucuses and spending most of their time attacking Ron Paul, who just so happens to be crushing them all. But here they are, and boy howdy are they spitting hot fire at this crabby old…
Rick Perry is still trying to convince Iowa voters that he's the most socially conservative candidate this godforsaken planet has ever seen, in his last ditch-attempt to get anyone to vote for him. We all remember when he was like, why are gays in the military when something something children Christmas Jesus? Then he …
Today we saw a different, more agile, more feline side of Rick Perry. That silent way in which he stalks his prey is just one among an impressive, um, skill set? One commenter thinks this strange collection of talents Perry has exhibited can be boiled down to a simple numbers game.
Rick Perry's latest ad, "American Story," starts off with a good concept: It eliminates "Rick Perry" from the ad altogether, instead leaving things to his wife, Anita. She tells us about their early years, like when Rick Perry joined the Air Force and "flew planes all over the world." Okay, fine. But then, around,…
Yesterday we brought you the story of Glen Maxey, the gay former Texas legislator who wrote a book recounting his work with an unnamed reporter for an unnamed news outlet to document Rick Perry's homosexual dalliances. According to Politico, that news outlet was none other than the Huffington Post.
Glen Maxey, the first openly gay member of the Texas State Legislature and longtime Democratic activist, spent most of last summer helping a reporter for a "national news outlet" nail down persistent rumors of Rick Perry's sexual relationships with men. The story got killed. So Maxey has published an e-book laying out…
While campaigning in Iowa, secessionist prime minister of Texas Rick Perry leaked some classified intelligence when he told his audience of hecklers and hog farmers that, for an unknown period of time, the U.S. has been secretly funding "the country Solynda."
Rick Perry released a new campaign ad on Wednesday in an attempt to drum up support from religious conservatives, but instead found himself under fire for saying, "You know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas" in it. And…
Rick Perry's gay-baiting Iowa ad didn't just anger human rights activists, gay service members, and gay Republicans. It roiled some of the people who work for him.
Rick Perry is the latest candidate to turn down Donald Trump's debate. Now, assuming the debate isn't canceled, it will just be Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, and potentially Michele Bachmann fielding awful questions from this NBC television actor.
Here's the ten millionth consecutive miserable Rick Perry ad to run in Iowa, titled "Strong." Let's make fun of it line by line, shall we?
What is this shit, Perry? Here we've got the third Rick Perry ad of this week, and what does it tell us: nothing. No, strike that: It tells us something. It tells us that the Rick Perry campaign is just going to spend all of that money it raised this summer on worthless bland ads until there's nothing left, and he…
The other storylines are spent: Newt Gingrich surging, Herman Cain maybe dropping out, Mitt Romney hanging in there, still, while being hated by his political party. But about our man Rick Perry? Sure, he's a terrible candidate who screws himself over each time he does anything in public. And his campaign's funding…
As Governor of Texas, Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry enacted a policy of providing in-state tuition for the children of illegal immigrants, thereby not completely alienating the country's fastest-growing populations. For this, he was roundly punished by the Republican electorate. But he has a secret…
Well at least I haven't gaffed, says Michele Bachmann, the woman who confused the birthplace of John Wayne and John Wayne Gacy, the state where the first shot of the Revolution was fired with New Hampshire, Elvis' birthday with the day he died and vaccines with the cause of mental retardation - all in the past year.
Today we learned that Rick Perry, everybody's favorite bumbling bumpkin from Texas, is not quite done making a fool of hisself. Fortunately for Perry, he has a frantic team of PR people waiting in the wings to apologize for his inevitable mishaps. One commenter was kind enough to send us today's statement:
Rick Perry simply has no idea what's happening at any point anymore, or of where he is, or what he's running for. This is the only explanation for why he's challenged Nancy Pelosi, the House minority leader, to a debate.
