CLEVELAND — As we all know, the Kanye West/Taylor Swift “Famous” fiasco reached new heights on Monday when Kim Kardashian released footage of Swift signing off on the supposedly offending lyrics. And ever since, the entire country has been waiting with bated breath for Senator Rick Santorum to finally break his…
When Joe Scarborough asks Rick Santorum—a broken and defeated man who just endorsed Marco Rubio—to name the latter’s top accomplishment in the Senate, you can actually hear air coming out of Rick’s sad chest cavity, a defeated little Eucghhh puff.
Rick Santorum, a relic of a previous political era who doesn’t have the charisma to land a gig as a cable news talking head, was running one of the most pointless political campaigns of this election cycle. Tonight, per CNN, he will announce its demise.
Once upon a time, Dan Savage did a very good prank where, on the Internet, if you searched for “santorum” (as in “Rick Santorum”) you would learn that this was a word that meant “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.” This doesn’t really happen anymore, but it’s…
Rick Santorum is many things: For one thing, he’s a Taurus. He’s also, surprisingly enough, still running for president. But did you know he’s also kind of an idiot: “The president’s policy is to keep ISIS within their bounds; ISIS’s objective is to keep their territorial integrity. Now, what does that sounds like? It…
AMES, IOWA—Abortion. Abominable gays. And god’s abiding dislike of the current Democratic administration. Hey 90s kids: remember 1996? Remember the Culture Wars? They’re back.
Some competitors thrive on being the underdog. Some find humor and vigor in humiliating setbacks. And some are just glass-jawed failure artists, their piled losses more befitting than any theoretical small victory. Rick Santorum is the latter, having reached mediocrity’s apogee while eating lunch alone on Monday.
Rick Santorum—a rust-belted Pittsburgher who has embraced the Petrine church ever since he stopped being pro-choice in his first congressional election—is smeared in penitence and frothy with faith, and he will show this pontiff who’s supreme.
Though he shares a similar love of Christ and fear of transgender people as the reality TV family, presidential hopeful and major dick Rick Santorum is finally distancing himself from the Duggars. He told Good Morning America yesterday that he is “sickened” by Josh Duggar’s admission that he molested some of his…
A few days ago, former and forever presidential hopeful Rick Santorum offered some seemingly (and uncharacteristically) supportive words on Bruce Jenner’s decision to come out as a transgender woman. But now, Santorum has one little thing he’d like to add: Don’t worry, I’m still a dick.
A special thing happened last weekend at the South Carolina National Security Action Summit: Rick "We Will Never Have the Smart People on Our Side" Santorum met an American citizen who makes him look like a champion of reason.
Well, hiring a Japanese T&A anime guru didn't fix Rick Santorum's movie studio, but maybe this film will give it a shot in the arm. One Generation Away: The Erosion Of Religious Liberty. Coming to a concerned grandmother's VHS near you on September 1!
Poor poor Rick Santorum. You try to keep America on the moral straight and narrow, and then it all blows up in your face. Like when you fight for the appointment of a tough-as-nails conservative judge who reverses your home state's ban on gay marriage.
In his new book, likely 2016 also-ran Rick Santorum exhorts his fellow conservatives to stop using the words "middle class" because "we don't believe there are social or economic classes in America." The book, called "Blue Collar Conservatives," is out today.
After retiring from professional election-losing, conservative ex-senator Rick Santorum has reinvented himself as a film mogul. And he's primed for success, seeing as how his "faith-based film studio" is backed and managed by an expert in T&A anime, National Memo's Ben Feuerhard reported this morning.
While you could make an argument that everyone who shops at Urban Outfitters is a pig-fucker, it's pretty rare that you get to see that specific practice played out literally from the purveyors of youth-oriented pants and books about pants and so on. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen anyone fucking an actual pig…
It seems like it couldn't miss: a pointed Christmastime yarn about a prickly, single preacher and a beloved candle. Yet one paper called it "stiff and hollow," and another said it "takes the easy way out in a cheesy climax." How could this big-studio flick get the shaft, when it's linked to a household name like…
Newton Leroy Gingrich, a former college professor who co-writes speculative novels about alternative versions of history, has just coauthored the most momentous counterfactual of his career. Forget wondering what would have happened if the Confederates had won at Gettysburg, or if the United States had fought Imperial…
Non-Senator Rick Santorum has announced his intention to combat the Senate confirmation of Chuck Hagel for Defense secretary. There's a lot to that sentence, so let me re-state: Rick Santorum, who as a regular, non-elected citizen has no more power than you or me or Bobby McGee, is going to attempt to hold up Chuck…
No one is quite sure what 4chan founder Christopher "moot" Poole is doing hanging out on Rick Santorum's website, but BetaBeat has confirmed that visiting Patriot Voices does in fact yield a pop-up with the infamous troll-father's smiling mug.
