Wealthy Jesus salesman Rick Warren cares only about helping people. Fat people, for example. How? By selling them rudimentary information in exchange for ca$$$h money.

Matthew Warren, son of prominent evangelical pastor Rick Warren, killed himself Friday night in his home in Mission Viejo, CA. His family said in a statement that Mathew Warren had struggled with depression and mental illness his entire life.

After a toxic poison burned the eyes of Saddleback Church's Pastor Rick Warren, he tweeted a request for prayers. Three hours later, the anti-gay mega-church creationist who gave Obama's inaugural invocation had been saved! Let us relive the miracle.

In order to "protect" the public, a judge in Malawi has sentenced a gay couple to 14 years in prison with hard labor for "gross indecency" and committing "unnatural acts." Somewhere, Rev. Rick Warren is smiling. [BBC, pic]

The man calling the shots at the new New York Times, Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim, is celebrating his birthday today: He's 70. (Let's hope Arthur Sulzberger Jr. didn't forget to send a gift.) French president Nicolas Sarkozy is turning 55. Elijah Wood turns 29 today. Sarah McLachlan is 42. Alan Alda is turning 74.…

Going Rogue is out today! The Washington Post have put together a cursory index that includes Hasselbeck, Elizabeth:"bold and talented," and Lieberman, Joe: a "bright spot" in the campaign. They also reveal who Palin calls when naked and soapy.

"I was asked a question that made it sound like I equated gay marriage with pedophilia or incest, which I absolutely do not believe," Rick Warren explained this week. See? He didn't mean it!

Bon anniversaire, monsieur le président! France's Nicolas Sarkozy turns 54 today. The most popular man at the New York Times, Mexican billionaire—and NYT investor—Carlos Slim Helú, is 69. Elijah Wood is 28. Actor Alan Alda is 73. Comedian Mo Rocca is turning 40. Nick Carter is turning 29. Sarah McLachlan is 41. Joey…

Here is a wonderful sentence drunk crank Christopher Hitchens wrote about huckster pop-pastor Rick Warren:

'Tis the season of empty gestures! Inaugural pastor Rick Warren rewrote his website so it no longer says gays are poison to his congregation. In fact a whole long lecture about gays was deleted.

Looks like Melissa Etheridge has finally found some common ground with her archenemy, Elisabeth Hasselbeck: they both love Barack Obama's controversial invocation speaker, Pastor Rick Warren!

Among the honorary co-chairs of Obama's inauguration? Wisconsin Rep Tammy Baldwin, one of the three openly gay members in Congress, and not the one who just called Obama's selection of Rick Warren a "mistake." [CBS]

Guess who is not happy with the Rick Warren invocation? Barney Frank, one of the country's three openly gay congresspeople.

Rick Warren, the evangelical pastor who's made himself palatable to liberals grossed out by most idiot bible-thumpers, will give the invocation at Barack Obama's inauguration, proving that the President-elect is not the anti-christ, probably.