America's new sweetheart Rob Kardashian walked out on the Kimye wedding this weekend after he reportedly realized that his family is truly awful.

Yesterday, TMZ posted pictures of Rob Kardashian looking bigger than ever at LAX, en route to his sister Kim's wedding. This quickly became a trending topic on Twitter, where the discussion went something like: "lol fat" times infinity.

Justin Bieber admits he took a DNA test to see if that baby is actually his. Angelina Jolie is into some kinky stuff. Britney Spears has a hard, hard life. Howard Stern thinks he and America both have talent. Wednesday's gossip is on the 4:07 to New Haven.

Why did Kris Humphries ditch his wedding ring to carry moving boxes? Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Kingston Rossdale might be in love. Dina Lohan is shopping a memoir. Kanye's Occupy Wall Street outfit was worth more than $30,000. TGIFriday gossip.

Rob Kardashian has some juicy gossip from your mom's favorite show, Dancing with the Stars: one of the couples is doing the horizontal mambo. This producer paid for his lover to get rid of a pregnancy and this singer is paying the paparazzi to take her picture. She needs to get on Dancing with the Stars.

Because nobody should be forced to endure an entire 30 minutes of America's most overexposed family every Sunday night, I'll be watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians for you and reporting back with a clip of each episode's most cringeworthy 15 or so seconds.

Newly minted Dancing with the Stars contestant David Arquette was on tonight's Late Show. Arquette talked to David Letterman about being sober from alcohol, reconciling with estranged wife Courteney Cox, being enamored with fellow DWTS contestant Rob Kardashian's "great ass" (it's true, his ass is pretty…

American princess Kim Kardashian and her towering beau are changing their tax status. Charlie Sheen and his once-upon-a-time bride Brooke Mueller are celebrating sobriety, of all things, in Mexico. Lady Gaga's been surfing. Today's Gossip Roundup is strutting down the aisle in a satiny white gown, taking your breath…

Chris Brown apologizes for breaking GMA's window. Whoopi Goldberg confesses she was high when she won her Oscar. Ashley Greene's post-Jonas rumspringa continues. And Westboro Baptist Church plans to protest at Liz Taylor's funeral. Thursday gossip has regrets.

Happy New Year, folks—or, as English-torturing songstress Courtney Love might blog it, "HAPPPPPY happy yr NEW happy." Love has posted a brand-new pair of wildly accusatory Myspace entries. Can we decipher them?

When Courtney Love accused Kim Kardashian's brother of a hate crime, we anticipated the latter would continue the blog war with a rebuttal—we just didn't expect how cagey the response would ultimately be.

Perhaps looking to shore up her gay bona fides after the "No, I voted Yes on 8" debacle, Courtney Love has broken her vow of blogging silence to report a Kardashian-fueled gay bashing.