Your Halloween party bores and frustrates Jeremy Piven, who in case you weren't aware is an actual working professional actor with little awe for costumes.

St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay will maybe join foursquare just if they grant him the honorific "Mayor of Everything."

Tech writer Paul Carr is quite enjoying his survey of California girls. Or maybe it's the German editors he likes, though we very much doubt that.

Wired's Brian X. Chen totally looked a gift horse in the mouth.

Hyperblogger Robert Scoble is already asking about an upgrade to a product from Twitter that is, itself, not even released yet.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

Twitter, you see, has created a "list" feature which it is testing on a small fraction of its userbase. Lists are collections of accounts, like "College friends" or "Work sites." They're also a new way to keep score: One writer did a random sampling of lists, and has created a new Twitter ranking, based on who appeared on the most lists, which restores geeks (sorta) to their rightful place atop the Twitter food chain. Said geeks — including "#1 individual" Robert Scoble (above) — are, of course, thrilled about this.

And so it is that the new media recycles the status obsessions of the old. How refreshing.

(Pic: Scoble, by Thomas Hawk)

• Julia Allison, professional lifecaster/shill blogger.
  
• Sarah Lacy, noted interviewer, interrupter, and lover of junkets. (Speaking of which, we're told this LA trip is all expenses paid. With a swanky hotel!)
  
• Shira Lazar, who hosts TV shows on KNBC and "Reelz," dated Kevin Rose, flirted with Mike Arrington and was Julia Allison's date to the inauguration.
  
• Brigitte Dale, video blogger for ABC Family.
• Scoble. We hear manic blogger/Twitterer/FriendFeed-er and ex Microsoft flack Robert Scoble is to contribute his insights as well.

So basically, all the top brain power in one spot.

Allison uploaded the picture above of this dot-com Algonquin Round Table, in their flip-flops and beach clothes. We cannot wait to read their report.

She's already set up an account. Ashton Kutcher, a big Twitter user, is scheduled to appear on the show Friday to talk about Twitter. Ex-dating columnist Julia Allison is trying to recruit other Twitterers for the show. And videoblogger Robert Scoble has posted that Oprah is going to be doing her first tweet.

With so many Internet celebrities on board, how can it not be happening?

Not that we blame Berners-Lee for these things ... okay, okay, we do. The 20 worst things about the World Wide Web:

• 1. Julia Allison
• 2. Twitter
• 3. Jason Calacanis
• 4. Wikipedia
• 5. Henry Blodget
• 6. Dave Winer
• 7. Blogs
• 8. Dead newspapers everywhere
• 9. Congressman Jared Polis
• 10. Robert Scoble
• 11. The Pets.com sock puppet, and Michael Ian Black's subsequent career
• 12. Digg
• 13. Perez Hilton
• 14. /b/
• 15. Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales's love life
• 16. Oversharing
• 17. Mark Zuckerberg
• 18. Chris Crocker
• 19. Internet commenters
• 20. Kevin Rose

We realize they weren't in your original spec, Timbo, but you should have anticipated them. Really.

"We are all Scoble now," Keen writes. Who? Scoble, a tech blogger who gained a measure of microcelebrity when Microsoft hired him a few years ago, makes videos so boring that Fast Company, his most recent employer, fired him. His lackluster videojournalism was not why anyone paid attention to him, of course; they're more attracted by the spectacle of his incessant use of microblogging service Twitter, where he has 67,000 "followers."

Keen argues that we must all follow Scoble's example and cultivate meaningless relationships that allow us to promote our work — that, indeed, with the collapse of Wall Street and Detroit, self-promotion is the only industry America has left. It's a depressingly accurate thought: A nation of Scobles, never producing anything but distracting people from that emptiness at our core by constantly talking.

He's certainly trying his best himself, assiduously courting the Twitterati to promote his next book, and ridiculing authors who do not engage in self-promotion, like Jonathan Littel, the writer of Holocaust epic The Kindly Ones:

For writers, the great publishing transformation over the next few years has nothing to do with the Kindle 2 or anything other supposedly miraculous technological device. No, the real revolution will be in the way we writers can take advantage of all this new digital technology — blogs, Twitter, interactive television, Internet radio etc etc — to better promote ourselves and our work. All writers — from $1,000,000 lottery-winners like Littel to the tens of thousands of professional writers like myself living off much smaller advances — need to think of self-promotion, both in physical and digital form, as intrinsic to our value.

A shy writer in the 21st century is a starving writer. Diffidence is death. Littel should set a better example. Come to America, Jonathan, and tell us more about your epic Nazi book. It's actually surprisingly nice here.

Ah yes, that's what we need: 140-character tweets about the Holocaust.

Scoble — chubby, bespectacled, and awkward, the unlikeliest of all video personalities — main job for the magazine was to produce a seemingly infinite series of video profiles of startups. Scoble's unwatchable videos mostly consisted of him lapping up tech blather from CEOs of doomed startup ventures about how they would be reinventing some paradigm or another. But as bad as they were, he fell from old-media grace for two main reasons.

First, he picked the wrong backers. The Fast Company Web guy who hired him, Ed Sussman, was loathed by his counterparts at the print magazine and got fired last year. And the videos were sponsored by Seagate, the hard-drive maker. After the company fired CEO Bill Watkins, with whom Scoble had a mutual lovefest, it was only a matter of time before the gravy train ended.

Second, there was Scoble's dangerous overuse of the Web startups he covered. FriendFeed and Twitter provided a steady IV drip of attention, so vital for soothing the damaged ego of a geek who never got over his awkward youth. But Scoble's paid work suffered while he volunteered to provide obsessive entertainment for his fellow Internet addicts.

He and Fast Company are saving face by continuing his column (heavily rewritten or wholly composed, no doubt, by an editor there). And he is, naturally, promising that he's meeting with a lot of companies to plan some exciting new startup. This is what one says in Silicon Valley when one is facing unemployment — the equivalent of talking up one's burgeoning freelance career in New York, or waxing enthusiastic about a script in Hollywood.

What really happened here: Scoble got invited by the pretty girl to the old-media prom. And he just got dumped. How will his ego ever recover?

What to wear: Khaki jacket and black turtleneck
Who you are: Rick Astley
How to play the part: Memorize "Never Gonna Give You Up." You'll be singing it all night.

What to wear: Shower cap, towel, iPhone
Who you are: "Naked Conversations" author Robert Scoble
How to play the part: Engage everyone in conversation. Ask them if they want to get naked. Hope they don't take you up on it.

What to wear: Three-piece suit
Who you are: Mashable CEO Pete Cashmore
How to play the part: Make sure you have a girl on each arm. Tell everyone you're a blogger. Refuse to explain what you actually do.

What to wear: Jumpsuits and aviator glasses for two
Who you are: Larry Page and Sergey Brin
How to play it: Maverick and Goose? So old media. With a fighter jet parked at Moffett Field, Larry and Sergey are the Valley's new Top Guns.

It just confirms the notion that Doerr hasn't been paying attention. Anyone who's been reading Robert Scoble's blog knows about the virtues of oversharing. It makes for great entertainment. But if there's any correlation between checking FriendFeed every 15 seconds and business success, it's lost to us. Next time, John, just mention your daughter and cry a lot. It worked wonders at TED last year.

Most of the cuts are hitting Mansueto Digital, the company's Web arm, previously the fiefdom of executive Ed Sussman. Sussman is leaving the company, and control of Fastcompany.com is now being handed to the magazine's editor, Bob Safian; traffic had fallen by about half on Sussman's watch, while rivals like Wired saw visits to their websites grow quickly. Robert Scoble, the self-obsessed managing director of Fastcompany.tv, will still be employed as of Monday, though he now reports to Safian. Darn!

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~C4Chaos

(Photo by Brian Solis)