Illinois hair crook Rod Blagojevich is calling on the feds to play all 500 hours of his expletive-laced corrupt horse-trading wiretap tapes, probably just to screw all the other people he talked to. Well, give him his wish, then. [NYT]

Illinois Democrats dug deep for this Lieutenant Governor candidate: Scott Lee Cohen is accused of threatening his prostitute ex-girlfriend with a knife, abusing steroids, trying to rape his ex-wife, and terrorizing his children. "That is my parenting style," he explained.

It's true: Harold Ford, Jr. is a joke. His New York Post editorial today more or less announcing his candidacy for Senate is terrible. His various friends and associates are a rogue's gallery of Gawker's most hated.

Muppet-haired white crook Rod Blagojevich now says that his comment to Esquire that he is "blacker than Barack Obama" was a "stupid thing to say." And by "stupid," Rod Blagojevich means "dope." [AP]

The disgraced ex-governor of Illinois apparently failed to take his Elvis Presley pointer-finger dance into account in assessing his relative level of whiteness in a new interview with Esquire.

L.A. Dodger Matt Kemp squeezed Rihanna. Who's happier, him or the photographer who shot it? Vince Vaughn gets married. Gaga gets a new look. Jeremy Piven has a lobotomy scar? Tuesday gossip has room for argument.

The 2000s were not so great for James Van Der Beek, career-wise. Maybe the 2010s will be better? He's just landed a role on the NBC medical drama 'Mercy' which could become a series regular if the character 'clicks'.

"Chicago Politics" is a comedy troupe, right? Blagojevich-tainted incumbent Heather Steans is mighty embarrassed after her husband followed her opponent to a gay bar, then went on a shitfaced rant after a suspicious trip "into the men's room."

Ubiquitous TV chef Bobby Flay turns 45 today. The nation's nuttiest ex-governor, Rod Blagojevich, is turning 53. Actress Emmanuelle Chriqui is 32. Adam Weinberg, the director of the Whitney Museum, is 55. Verizon chief executive Ivan Seidenberg is turning 63. Meg White of The White Stripes turns 35. Actor Kenneth…

The Chicago Tribune is reporting that computer equipment containing audio files of wiretapped conversations has been stolen from the office Rod Blagojevich's defense attorney.

So. What is crazy accidental Illinois Senator Roland Burris up to, these days? Oh, just Senate stuff, you know. Talking about health care. Giving speeches. Asking utterly insane questions at pointless hearings about imaginary Czars.

One of Oprah's flight attendants wants monetary revenge for not having sex. Christina Hendricks got married. Jail makes Roman Polanski sad. And Blago and Trump's hair wars will be television gold. Happy Monday and welcome to your gossip roundup!

Disgraced, impeached Illinois governor and media joker Rod Blagojevich thinks he would do well in New York because no one has yet told him to go fuck himself. Not to his face, at least. [New Yorker]

Rod Blagojevich and his alleged misdeeds have been the subject of much spilled media ink, and much of that ink was spilled by his own hand. But could that story now have spilled blood?

Lawmaker-turned-dancing machine Tom Delay astutely pointed out that politics is showbiz. And few politicians have mastered the fine art more than Rod Blagojevich, who at once relishes in and scorns the spotlight. He is, simply, the Joker of media gaming.

On the morning he was arrested on corruption charges last December, Rod Blagojevich was the nation's biggest greaseball. So obviously, the national press was willing to say anything to land an interview. And we've got their emails to prove it.

The deluge of media e-mails to Rod Blagojevich's press secretary in the wake of his arrest, obtained from the state of Illinois through the Freedom of Information Act.