The black variation, however, will only eat acorns or near-acorn substitutes. As an interesting experiment that we in NYC can all try, bring a handful of peanuts and a handful of hazelnuts to the Central Park West area of Central Park. There you will find both grey and black variations of our sciurus carolinensis. Offer the grey variation both types of nuts, and it will gladly eat either, as well as any other non-meat food such as gum, Twinkies, etc. Offer the black variation the same choice, and it will only take the hazelnuts. Here, then, our black variation is much less hardy and more fragile and often confined to a few isolated areas where acorns are plentiful. As for the British, and their problems with the black variation of sciurus carolinensis, well ,fuck the British. They are all cross-dressing toffee-nosed pansies who got us and the rest of the world into this freaking credit crisis. I hope they are all replaced by our "Black Squirrel".

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...some have big balls.

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B) If the brother squirrels are fitter, faster and smoother w/the ladysquirrels, it stands to reason that they're tastier, or at least better for you than their slow, fat, socially retarded cousins the Gingers.

C) Big, black squirrel genitalia not mentioned. WTF?

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