last year, my sister's french exchange student came to America and was SHOCKED to see our gray and black Chicago squirrels. She had no idea what they were.
No, see it started at a financial blog as a bit of dark humour when people began to trade squirrel recipes. Then it migrated to Gawker, then the comedy central people ran with it then Gawker fried up some more squirrel posts then Colbert. I think you might find that one of the bloggers here has a google alert set for "squirrel" and is notified each time a story pops up.
After nearly 25 years of studying the "Black Squirrel," I must say that there are no real black squirrels or grey squirrels. Both black and grey-pigmented squirrels that you might see in our Central Park, for example, are simply just color variations of the common grey squirrel, or "sciurus carolinensis." In North America the grey variation has the upper paw over its black-pigmented neighbor, as it is more adaptable and able to eat a variety of foods, from pizza crusts and acorns to peanuts and white bread.
The black variation, however, will only eat acorns or near-acorn substitutes. As an interesting experiment that we in NYC can all try, bring a handful of peanuts and a handful of hazelnuts to the Central Park West area of Central Park. There you will find both grey and black variations of our sciurus carolinensis. Offer the grey variation both types of nuts, and it will gladly eat either, as well as any other non-meat food such as gum, Twinkies, etc. Offer the black variation the same choice, and it will only take the hazelnuts. Here, then, our black variation is much less hardy and more fragile and often confined to a few isolated areas where acorns are plentiful. As for the British, and their problems with the black variation of sciurus carolinensis, well ,fuck the British. They are all cross-dressing toffee-nosed pansies who got us and the rest of the world into this freaking credit crisis. I hope they are all replaced by our "Black Squirrel".
@Nesbiteme: So you're a naturalist or biologist of some kind, but never got the memo that under the (modified) Linnaean taxonomic system, the generic epithet is to be capitalized?
Ha ha, the Daily Mail refuses to put a byline to this story because they see how idiotic it is! Squirrelly Britons, wot with their hoity-toity Eur'pean accents!
@lilbobbytables: I work at a public university in a certain unnamed but very large western state, and they're caging the little critters, sterilizing them, and then letting them go. Why, you ask? Because they're outbreeding the native squirrels. Like squirrels are the only exotic species outcompeting the native equivalent. They're not even economically significant (sorry, katastic).
B) If the brother squirrels are fitter, faster and smoother w/the ladysquirrels, it stands to reason that they're tastier, or at least better for you than their slow, fat, socially retarded cousins the Gingers.
C) Big, black squirrel genitalia not mentioned. WTF?
Oo, I have read about this, and it's a shame. Pushy American squirrels squeezing out the courtly, gentlemanly Ginger Squirrels. There's animal societies in the UK dedicated to recovering all the red squirrels' dropped monocles and exquisite tiny tea-sets. A pity, actually.
@lilbobbytables: Lol, it is adorable. But the Victorians actually used to taxidermy squirrels in just that way, posing them in domestic drawing-room scenes in diorama. I saw one antique in the French Quarter of New Orleans years ago and never forgotten it. And yes, spats were involved!
Genuine Kentucky free-range raccoons--or "night sheep"--can be purchased by calling or emailing Senator Mitch McConnell at (502)-458-8400 or contact@teammitch.com. Go team Mitch!
01/21/09
01/21/09
01/21/09
You've been memerized!
No, see it started at a financial blog as a bit of dark humour when people began to trade squirrel recipes. Then it migrated to Gawker, then the comedy central people ran with it then Gawker fried up some more squirrel posts then Colbert. I think you might find that one of the bloggers here has a google alert set for "squirrel" and is notified each time a story pops up.
01/20/09
01/20/09
The black variation, however, will only eat acorns or near-acorn substitutes. As an interesting experiment that we in NYC can all try, bring a handful of peanuts and a handful of hazelnuts to the Central Park West area of Central Park. There you will find both grey and black variations of our sciurus carolinensis. Offer the grey variation both types of nuts, and it will gladly eat either, as well as any other non-meat food such as gum, Twinkies, etc. Offer the black variation the same choice, and it will only take the hazelnuts. Here, then, our black variation is much less hardy and more fragile and often confined to a few isolated areas where acorns are plentiful. As for the British, and their problems with the black variation of sciurus carolinensis, well ,fuck the British. They are all cross-dressing toffee-nosed pansies who got us and the rest of the world into this freaking credit crisis. I hope they are all replaced by our "Black Squirrel".
01/20/09
"...who got us and the rest of the world into this freaking credit crisis."
Explain please.
01/20/09
01/21/09
Sciencey!
But as of yesterday's Inaugural Address, curiosity is back in style, so keep bustin'.
01/21/09
01/21/09
Does capitalizing the generic epithet, does that mean I have to write "[Insert name here] is an Asshole"?
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01/20/09
...some have big balls.
01/21/09
They certainly do to take over some other squirrels' country.
01/20/09
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01/20/09
B) If the brother squirrels are fitter, faster and smoother w/the ladysquirrels, it stands to reason that they're tastier, or at least better for you than their slow, fat, socially retarded cousins the Gingers.
C) Big, black squirrel genitalia not mentioned. WTF?
01/20/09
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01/14/09