She's had plenty of frowns lately. McKinsey is about to run rampant making cuts at Condé Nast, her imaginary boyfriend Roger Federer lost the U.S. Open because she had to go to the Marc Jacobs show, her daughter is a hobo, Grace Coddington totally upstaged her in in The September Issue, and no one spent any money during her faux charity event Fashion's Night Out. Even through adversity, she has turned those frowns upside down. Maybe the last affront of her Make-People-Like-Me Tour 2009 is to smile? Next thing you know, she'll be getting a new haircut!

The Picture Face:
Why It Happened: This is her slight smirk employed when she deigns to grant permission to have her photo taken. It is the gold standard by which all candid smile shots should be judged.
Wattage: 10

The This Jacket Is Made from 100,000 Tiny Snakes Smile
Why It Happened: When in the front row at Proenza Schouler, Anna realizes that her outfit caused the death of a legion of small helpless creatures. Also, proximity to daughter Bee Shaffer and her girl crush Rachel McAdams.
Wattage: 30

The Me Likey Smile
Why It Happened: Oscar de la Renta's wares put Anna into a fashion-based frenzy, and she has a flashback to her younger days as a nightclub trolling hipster.
Wattage: 60

The Touch of a Man Smile
Why It Happened: Designer Narcisco Rodriguez placed his warm hand on her cold flesh.
Wattage: 40

The Tell Me More Smile
Why It Happened: We originally thought this was a call from imaginary boyfriend Roger Federer, but it happened during the Marc Jacobs show, where she was causing him to lose. But, no, it is a call from Luca Brasi, telling her that something very bad has befallen the head of McKinsey. Also aided by the caffeine rush from her beloved Starbucks.
Wattage: 50

The Chip off the Old Block Smile:
Why It Happened: Bee Shaffer just called someone fat.
Wattage: 80

The Schadenfreude Smile:
Why It Happened: You would think she was happy to see frenemy Charlize Theron at the U.S. Open. No. She's just giddy because, judging by the look on Theron boyfriend Stuart Townsend's face, someone just screwed up on the court.
Wattage: 70

The Fresh Meat Cackle:
Why It Happened: The Wicked Witch of the Twelfth Floor lets loose a terror-inducing noise when she thinks of the hell she is going to put young designer Jason Wu through.
Wattage: 100

On the topic of Federer, Koblin elicited the kind of stuff courtside reportage was born to breed. Hard hitting:

"Well, Lleyton is a very tough competitor, and he was getting every serve back," she said. "But we believed."

Boom. Anna believes. She drank the (zero calorie) Kool-Aid, and is a full-fledged servant to Federer's will and backhand.

Then, Koblin dares to ask Wintour about McKinsey, the Conde Nast Death Panel currently executing whole departments as well as ridding the Conde Commissary of wasteful beverages like Orangina. This is some Frost/Nixon shit, right here. Koblin goes in for the kill:

Then I asked her about McKinsey. Vogue is one of two Conde Nast magazines that the consulting firm is taking the longest, deepest look at as it prepares a series of cost-cutting recommendations for Chairman Si Newhouse.

"Everything is great!" she said. "O.K, I'm off."

She promptly disappeared into a tunnel.

There you have it! Everything's dandy! Not only are the relationships between Vogue—who McKinsey's taking a good, hard look at—and McKinsey, Vogue's possible hangman, fine, but Wintour's ability to disappear into caves and tunnels like a creature of the night proceeds unfettered.

[Photo by John Koblin, via the New York Observer]

• Move over, revolutionary monogram artist Roger Federer, because Maria Sharapova and James Blake are designing their own labels with their respective sponsors. [Canadian Press]
  
  
• The Smithsonian added the American Idol desk to its collection but, predictably, it's tucking it away in some storage area, where people will forget the Smithsonian wasted its prestige on such a useless piece of trash. [MSNBC]
  
  
• Everyone thinks Demi Moore has had plastic surgery, and she says she hasn't, but everyone will go on believing she has. Sorry, Demi! [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Paula Abdul promises she didn't leave American Idol because of money. She left on "principle," whatever that means. She also hopes to get a talk show, which we'd actually watch. [TV Guide]
  
  
• Phil Spector is such a cry-baby! He wants to be moved from one prison because he's afraid someone will kill him. But he doesn't like his next prison because there's a fungal disease called Valley Fever and it's killed 14 people over the past four years, so he's scared and his wife's petitioning for yet another venue change. Let this be a lesson: don't kill other people. [Page Six]
  
  
• The Real Housewives of New York better make sure their lives are messy, dramatic and Bravo-worthy, for the network reportedly has two new ladies waiting should any of the regular characters prove too boring. Filming, by the way, began this week. [Page Six]
  
  
• Kate Moss flashed a tit during a magazine photo shoot. [The Sun]
  
  
• Lindsay Lohan got a tattoo of Marilyn Monroe on her arm. Oy, sometimes that girl's too much for us. [Examiner]
  
  
• Okay, Chelsea Clinton's not getting married this year, so chill the fuck out. [Page Six]

We won't bore you with the faux debate over whether he's being arrogant and just tell you the truth: he is.

Take, as an example, his take on the sartorial innovation:

I don't have to wear anything or do anything anybody tells me.... I do everything myself. It's really up to me.... For me, it's important that a fan can buy something that is related to me. Like in soccer, you buy a shirt and it's got somebody's name on the back. That's kind of a cool thing.

Federer also explains that he wants the monogram to connect fans to him, but not be seen as a team jersey. Though he's certainly pleased with himself, Michael Bierut of New York's design consulting firm Pentagram has a far cooler reaction, albeit with a bit of requisite awe:

[It] is not particularly remarkable as a logo, but within its genre and the overall landscape of sports graphics, I think it's quite distinctive. The ‘NY' for the Yankees - that's a monogram, too. But sports monograms are generally more forthright and blunt. The Federer monogram creates not a sports brand but a fashion brand.

Anna Wintour, we're sure, is pleased.

• Twilight star Robert Pattinson hates New York and its deranged women. He's been whining constantly about it while working on a film in the city and can't wait to get back to him mommy in London. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Lady Gaga groped her boobs and stripped down to show off her ample bottom at a gay club in London over the gay pride weekend. [UK Sun]
  
  
• Transformers director Michael Bay says that Megan Fox has "a lot of growing up to do." Bay went on to say that "nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her" and also claimed credit for turning Nick Cage, Will Smith and Ben Affleck into big stars. Team Megan! [Daily News]
  
  
• Josh Duhamel says that he and Fergie were given a stripper pole as a wedding gift, but that he actually plays around on it more than she does. And oh yeah, he's an ass man. [Page Six]
  
  
• Russell Crowe just can't stop being a prick. He was in attendance at yesterday's epic Wimbledon final between Andy Roddick and Roger Federer when he decided that he wasn't happy with his seat. He saw a better one that was open closer to the court and tried to move down into it. This did not go over well with the ushers working the event. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Oh snap! Chris Brown is hooking up with Kanye West's ex, Amber Rose. The burning question now is who will go all Suge Knight on Chris Brown first—Jay-Z or Kanye? [Daily News]
  
  
• Rihanna attended a 4th of July celebration in Vegas wearing a loose jacket that exposed "silver sequinned nipple petals" on her breasts. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Totally old Entourage actress Carla Gugino says that Hollywood is an ageist town. Yeah, I know, quite shocking, right? [Page Six]
  
  
• Courtney Love recently trashed a hotel room. Now employees at the hotel are saying that the room was "littered with needles and used feminine hygiene products." [Sun]
  
  
• Former Incredible Hulk star Lou Ferrigno says that the stress of being $400 million in debt is what killed Michael Jackson. [UK Mirror]

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

The guy who ran on the court was wearing a Barcelona flag with an outfit to match. It appears he was trying to get Federer to wear a Barcelona hat, the sartorial impact of which has yet to be analyzed by our crack team of weekend fashion experts, but the political implication being that he wanted Federer's endorsement of Barcelona, presumably, where the assailant hailed from. Personally, I would've gone for something like this, but to each their own.

Really, though: AJ's got the goods on the guy at Deadspin - as it turns out, he's done this kind of ridiculous shit before, something about a good cause or something. Europeans! They're funny.

Federer's fine, by the way. As you can see, they tackled the guy and probably messed up his face. Fans running onto courts during sporting events: not cool, even if they are well-intentioned, be it for charity, fan advocacy, nationalism, or fashion advocacy. Also, we don't think the Red Hat Ladies would approve. Shame.

Oh why hello there lumpen. I'll bet some of the woefully untrained eyes staring catatonically at these particular specimens of my ubiquitous, iconic silhouette merely see a woman wearing a dress, the same dress, a blue dress to be more specifically unspecific, on three separate occasions. But who else wore a blue dress? Ha ha, that's right, the Devil; brilliant work, not really. Now if your "blog"-enfeebled minds weren't so blithely incapable of retaining even the most basic business memes, you might recall that it is not blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean, and also that in 2002, Oscar De La Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns, which became not only the basis for a massive trickle-down ceruleanstravaganza, but by extension the most memorable line of a blockbuster movie I which I might have chosen this moment to wryly and with my eminent good humor, reference.

But why? Was it my little joke with Oscar, not coincidentally the designer of this season's dress commemorating the sixth anniversary of the original collection referenced in that little film? Or perhaps was it further meant to conjure images of that other, slightly more plebeian "devil in a blue dress" of recent history and thus comment wryly on the presidential politics and my esteemed publication, which Hillary Clinton this year deemed too "frivolous" to be influential? (Poor dear, her decision to deem herself too "serious" for fashion didn't do a whole lot better for her campaign than her husband's decision to blithely usher in the exodus of those one million "downstream" textile and apparel industry jobs, did it now?) Or to that end, perhaps I'm merely acknowledging the state of the economy, which as we are all well-aware would be right now deep in the throes of recession were it not for the stimulating properties of Ben Bernanke and the chieftains of "aspirational" consumption such as, that's right, me. Horrors, and what do you think will happen to this economy now that my employer is restricting our hordes of expense form-forgers to a a Gulag-esque five lunches a month? Well let's be honest, dears: nothing my colleagues over in the Vogue Subcontinent would bat a Lancomed eyelash about. Which is to say: why are you still reading this? Wherefore the unceasing constant Wintourology on all your silly little gossip sites? Did Tucker Max sexually humiliate no one over the long weekend? Isn't the cocaine better at Elle?

Look, here it is, "real talk" as the kids say: I just think it's a pretty dress. And Roger said it brought out the green in my eyes.

Now, as Mr. Nadal sets his sights on the U.S. Open, the hunky rebel known for his muscle shirts, capri-length pants and bandanna will morph into more of a traditionalist, starting with his on-court wardrobe.The shift appears part of a larger strategy by Mr. Nadal's tight-knit management team to transform the sublime baseliner from a teenage heartthrob into a grown-up star.

Supposedly Nadal himself has now grown up and spontaneously decided to update his image. But he's "worked closely" with Nike designers to build himself a new wardrobe composed of polo shirts (with mesh side panels!) in "chlorine blue, orange blaze, white and concord [purple]." All at the expense of boring old has-been Roger Federer. Your move, Anna Wintour.

[WSJ]

• His wife Trudie Styler's tantric lovemakings are apparently not sufficient for Sting, who was spotted leaving a "notorious brothel" in Germany. How did he find the place? Did they put on the red li ... sorry. Sorry! [Daily Mail]
  
• "Anna [Wintour] sends stuff to [Roger] Federer with little notes that say 'This would look great on you." [Page Six]
  
• Vegas cops are after O.J. Simpson—yeah, that O.J. Simpson!—in connection with a robbery. [TMZ]