Gawker 
Enter your username and password.
New York, 6:37 AM
Fri Nov 27
11 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip Your Editors:
tips@gawker.com
Tipline: 646-214-8138
Editor-in-Chief:
Gabriel Snyder | Email
West Coast Editor:
Richard Rushfield | Email
Contributing Editors:
Valleywag:
Ryan Tate | Email
Media:
Hamilton Nolan | Email
Politics:
Alex Pareene | Email
Investigations:
John Cook | Email
Entertainment:
Brian Moylan | Email
Nights:
Adrian Chen | Email
Azaria Jagger | Email
Ravi Somaiya | Email
Weekends:
Foster Kamer | Email
Video Editor:
Richard Blakeley | Email
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
I mean, if you're going to lose your mind over such a random celebrity as Vaughan, wouldn't you want to romance him at his actual peak?
11/25/09
Monday: Walked the dogs past Vince's house again. Wonder if he noticed? Tried to look out of the corner of my eye to see if the curtains on any of the windows were twitching, walked into lamp post. Pretty sure there was no curtain twitch. I hope.
Tuesday: Walked the dogs past Vince's house again. I love thinking of it as "Vince's house." I mean, it could be "Vince Vaughn's house," or "Mr. Vincent Vaughn's house," or "The home of the celebrated actor Vincent Vaughn." Or even "Fat Vinnie's Boss Crib." But "Vince's house" just sounds so cozy. Like something that was meant to be.
Wednesday: Walked the dogs past Vince's house again. I wonder if he would notice me if my name were Estella and we both were traveling through time together for thousands of years and he was a silk trader at some point, or maybe one of those Chinese kings who wore a hat shaped like a wooden shoe? Hmmm. This bears thinking about.
Thursday: Walked the dogs past Vince's house again. Mimsy laid a huge cable just at the foot of the driveway. I had to pick it up using some dead leaves. Ick.
Friday: I raced, screaming "I can't take it any more!' to Vince's house and hammered on the door, pleading and sobbing for him to open up the door, his heart, our lives, a new chapter in existence.
Some blonde who looked kind of strung out opened the door and told me this wasn't Vince's house, he lived over in Bel Air and her name was Courtney and did I want to hear her play this new song she'd been working on and did I think Yoko Ono was a great artist or a deranged bitch or maybe both. She kind of freaked me out, honestly.
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
09/09/09
/Rabbit is Randy
09/09/09
I once wrote a porn story wherein an Amish guy comes to Philadelphia and fucks a woman with a plug-in vibrator and says, "Ah, electricity! This is so much more relaxing!"
09/09/09
December 1, 1989
Top 10 Amish Pick-up Lines
10. Are thee at barn-raisings often?
9. If our religion didn't forbid the use of telephones, I would ask thee for thy number.
8. Can I buy thee a buttermilk colada?
7. You've really got the build for that plain bonnet and shapeless black dress.
6. Say, my favorite movie is "Witness" too!
5. Are thee a model?
4. There are so many phonies at these quilting bees. Let's go someplace quiet.
3. Thy buggy has a bitchin' lacquer job.
2. I got Sinatra tickets.
1. Are thee up for some plowing?
09/09/09
09/09/09
09/09/09
Can a remake of Witness be far behind?
09/09/09
09/09/09
09/09/09
"I wish I knew how to quilt you.
09/09/09