We hear that Trump isn't happy about Jared's dad's time as a jailed felon over real-estate dealings gone bad, and the Kushners aren't happy about Ivanka's shiksa status, despite her ingratiating attempt to convert—maybe because the effort means she's serious about marrying him for real. It's so romantic—like the Montagues and the Capulets! They'll probably want to be together even more now.

In the summer of 2004, a newly single professional in his early forties wanted to sleep with as many women as possible. Sex being above all other considerations — time, money, shame — he took on the persona “Dimitri the Lover” and drafted a general sexual proposition for any “attractive, intelligent woman” who happened to read it. He printed a few thousand posters and hired a postering company. Together they placed them all over the city, from family-oriented neighbourhoods like the Beaches (where mothers’ groups ripped them down en masse) to York University campus (which alerted the police).

“I got dozens of responses. Dozens. And fucked maybe 20 women, something like that. Not a lot,” Dimitri tells me. Of course, most people who saw the poster thought it was a joke. I did, until Dimitri hit on me in Starbucks two years later. I was taken aback, mostly because of the way he looked: tall and broad-shouldered, with dark, gelled-back hair. A stranger on the street might nickname him “Dimitri the Lover” as a joke.

Yes, and then he became a bonafied pickup artist! And now Dimitri is an internet sensation! Where did this come from? It's posted a couple places with various questionable "friend of a friend" descriptions, but maybe this clip is just the PUA equivalent of Viral Marketing?

Jezebel has the transcript of the voicemails, in case you are squeamish or without speakers.

This all starts roughly in early 2006, and continues through to today.
Jason Preston

• A former "rent-boy," Preston famously tatooed the Marc Jacobs logo on his arm.
• The pair kept breaking up.
• And getting back together.
• Then getting engaged.
• Then breaking up again (for good?).
• Meanwhile, they were having dirty, dirty threesomes with...
• 
  Erik Rhodes
  
• Emerging in Jacobs' life early this year, he is kind of dumb, but likes to fuck. He does porn! And used to be a hooker too!
• But, oh no, he is sad.
• Rhodes is kicked to the curb at some point, probably because he left to play Moose Mason in an Archie On Ice show or something. Enter:
• 
  Austin A.
  
• A mysterious fellow, he had lots of MySpace anger.
• He was able to define "Boy Toy" for the rest of us idiots.
• And he almost got in a fight with poor, rejected Jason.
• Somewhere along the line he seems to have disappeared, making room for this new fellow.
• 
  Phew! That is a lot. And I am sure there is much, much more.

  Image via Bauer-Griffin.

The newest name on Clemens "How to Creep" list is Paulette Dean Daly, the former wife of professional golfer John Daly. Since John Daly looks like this:

You can see how even Clemens may have looked good to his paramour. The Daily News reports:

"Clemens' relationship with Daly is said to have come after the end of her marriage to the hard-driving golfer. That was on the heels of a grim incident at the 1997 Players Championship, where the golfer was taken to a hospital with alcohol poisoning...

Daly is still involved with the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic as an organizer of famously lavish parties there."

News reports have described Clemens as being in attendance as recently as two years ago, dancing around the party with an 8-foot-long boa constrictor around his neck.

She doesn't deny it so it must be true!

Q I was dating a guy for a long time and we both kept blogs. I used my blog to talk about the things that I did or that I was feeling, and although I talked about our relationship, I never talked about our sex life. I was just trying to be emotionally naked and self-revealing and let the world learn a little bit about me. My boyfriend talked mostly about the Bears and his work, but then he crossed the line and alluded to the difficulties of giving me an orgasm in a few of his posts. Even though it is mostly just our friends who read the site, some of their friends read it, too. Now they know that I have a hard time having an orgasm. That is my personal issue and I did not want it broadcast to our friends. We had other problems, too, and as a result of everything we broke up. I am hurt that he did this to me and even more hurt now that he is seeing someone else and has posted pictures of her and posts about dates that they have gone on. I feel like he is using his blog against me, which only makes me use my blog against him. I am frustrated by this whole thing and that other guys may not want to date me now because they can find out from the blog that it was "so much work" to try and make me come.

A STOP IT SHUT UP JESUS CHRIST.

Update: Ms. Allison asserts, convincingly, that this is "retarded," and adds, "if I wanted to talk about my issues, I would put my name on them. THAT, at least, is more than clear." So this is probably Lodwick's doing.

In & Out [TO Chicago]

Kristen says:

The avatar I am now is quite stunning. She is everything I should have been years ago, slim and attractive. I finally felt I could be who I wanted to be. I felt stronger.

You do everything [in a Second Life wedding, performed 10 weeks after she met Steve online] you would do in real life like chose the dress, chose the flowers, chose the venue.

Steve says:

Eventually there were suspicions. There was one occasion I was in our house in Second Life and there were pictures of Nik and Kira on the wall holding each other and my ex-partner saw them. She looked at it and said "are you having an affair?" I just went cold and said it's a computer game don't be silly, what could possibly be going on?

People we speak to in Second Life complain about real life getting in the way of their Second Life time. Given the choice they would almost live there permanently.

Thank god the couple says they've moved on past Second Life (they only log on a bit) and back into the world where Kristen can raise her real live daughter.

Of course, just when Second Life starts to sound not that life-ruining, Showbiz Spy tells the story of Carolyn, a woman who neglected her husband and four children to spend 14 hours a day on the game.

After telling the story of her drawn-out online relationship, which she turned into another failed real-world relationship, Carolyn says, "I wish I could feel connected and in love back in my marriage again. If I could push a button that's what I would do." Glad to hear so much commitment!

I once met a girl at the dance club below One on One...forget what it was called. I'm not much for picking up girls at clubs, but I was playing wing-man for a recently single friend and decided to play along. I went with the "Everything In Common" approach, wherein I had "Everything In Common" with my chosen victim (target?). She was a graphic designer, and OMG, so was I (I'm a marketing manager). She went to Pace, as did I (NYU, bitches). We also liked indie rock (alternative), summer on Long Island (Hell no), and Vodka (Whisky). We went back to my place for some post-bar coitus, and it went swimmingly. As we wrapped up and had awkward-stranger-after-sex-chatter, I straight out told her I lied about mostly everything I told her (including my name), and what do you know? She had twisted a few things as well. Our mutual bullshittery and moderately good (albeit drunken) sex was like a match made in heaven, and we're still dating a year later.

Want a peek under the covers?

Oops! confesses, "I joined the mile high club on my last vacation." Yawn.

Bossesconfession confesses: "Still have a total and incontrollable lust for a lady that works for me and she flirts back. So hard (no pun) to decide whether to act on the tension between us...especially since I know she would be awesome." EW.

Silver confesses: "I once had an affair with a Frenchman more than twice my age and with a daughter who was younger than me." Whoa! That's intense. Bonjour to some serious tristesse! Actually, though, maybe it's just bad grammar.