In your crippled Thursday media column: Magic Johnson saves Vibe, some jokers think AOL's brand can be "tainted," another departure from the NY Daily News, schadenfreude at CBS News, and News Corp's kitchen furniture police are out in full force.

Barnes & Noble's mustachioed chairman Leonard Riggio defeated Ron Burkle's vigorous battle to wrangle control of the failing bookseller's board. Riggio will now return to supervising the company's descent into nothingness. [WSJ. Pic: AP]

Model-wrangling billionaire Ron Burkle scored a victory this morning in his battle to grab control of Barnes & Noble, when an advisory service recommended that shareholders vote for Burkle's slate of directors. What's B&N chairman Leonard Riggio (pictured) doing wrong?

Billionaire Clinton pal Ron Burkle is trying to get his model-caressing paws on Barnes and Noble, the bookstore where you love to sit right on the carpet and read, which is gross. Anyhow. B&N says Burkle will "destroy"(!) it.

Billionaire Clinton pal and model wrangler Ron Burkle is salivating metaphorically at the prospect of getting his hands on Barnes & Noble, the once-mighty book chain that's now in play. Why?

Once-proud studio Miramax died in January, and Disney is selling off its carcass for pennies on the dollar. But look who might snap it up: The Weinstein brothers, who built the place, and their billionaire pal Ron Burkle!

Supermarket owner Ron Burkle and Bill Clinton were friends. They flew around on Burkle's private jet and made each other lots and lots of money. Now they have broken up, and they are not friends. And Burkle owes Bill money!

Ron Burkle—the party-loving supermarket mogul, celebrity hanger-on, and owner of precisely one outfit that he wears 365 days a year—is "angling to take a controlling stake in Barneys," according to the Wall Street Journal. You're going to have your work cut out for you, Simon Doonan. [WSJ]

When you're an indolent billionaire and your entire existence revolves around getting (young, female) celebrities to hang out with you—and you shell out a small fortune to make that happen—the least these stars could do is spell your name correctly, right? Well, at least if one of them ends up getting your name wrong,…

Anne Hathaway turns 27 today. Fashion darling Julia Restoin Roitfeld is turning 29. Ryan Gosling turns 29 today, too. Actress Megan Mullally is turning 51. Billionaire mogul Ron Burkle is 57. Paper co-founder Kim Hastreiter is 58. Sammy Sosa is turning 41. Author Naomi Wolf is 47. Neil Young turns 64. Actor Wallace…

It was super-sketchy Hollywood producer Steve Bing who provided the jet that Bill Clinton used so he could go on his rescue mission to North Korea. If only Bing's Boeing could talk. Not only has the plane reportedly served as the setting for various escapades over the years involving lots of babes and other nefarious…

Susan Boyle's "exhausted" again, Dustin Lance Black's sorry, Cindy Adams knows where you should hide your cash, Prince Harry's dating a floozy, and Salman Rushdie's a third boob. Oh, and: Ron Burkle and whores. Here's your Sunday morning gossip roundup:

• The British paparazzi have seen it all over the years, but even they were surprised by a shopping expedition by Beyoncé in London last week. The singer required two chauffeur-driven cars/limos and a small army of bodyguards to escort her to the store. Even though it happened to be located about 15 yards from the…

Mark Ebner's scandal-filled book about Paris Hilton was released in January. One chapter—full of prostitution allegations against billionaire Clinton pal Ron Burkle—was cut. Now it's been released! And it's salacious, even by Ron Burkle standards:

Sunday's NY Times Magazine featured a cover piece on Bill Clinton titled "The Mellowing of Bill Clinton," but the thing that stood out most was how Clinton is now buddies with one his main defamers from the 90s, while still holding grudges against just about every Democrat who supported Obama.

Famous American Bill Clinton has apparently decided to just walk away from up to $20 million he was owed by his old friend, creepy old billionaire modelizer Ron Burkle. Now why would he do that?

Remember that friend you had in college who was a total troublemaker and really crazy stuff would invariably go down whenever you hung out with him? And then the day came when you suddenly decided it was time to grow up and, like, be an adult and everything, and you decided to stop hanging out with him? That day may…

A tipster tells us billionaire Clinton pal Ron Burkle (and his model wrangler!) was "lurking around" Justin Timberlake's William Rast show at Fashion Week last night. Time for a listicle of creepy old ladies' men!

In your sumptuous Tuesday media feast: Celebrity mags flounder, interns replace reporters, Ron Burkle's steaming mad, the New Yorker has jokes, and more!