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New York, 11:25 PM
Sat Dec 19
10 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)

    Who's the Douche of the Decade?

    The Reign of the Douche

    'Ronn. Ronn. Ronn!'

    Ronn [sic] Torossian, Honest Man

    Ronn [sic] Torossian's Rowdy Labor Department Run-In (Updated)

    Labor Troubles at 5WPR?

    Moral Arbiter Ronn [sic] Torossian's Enemies List: Murderers, Obama

    Sue 'Em And Woo 'Em

    Nude Models and Other Publicity Tactics
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of TheSometimesWhy TheSometimesWhy
    12/18/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    It occurs to me that there is an upcoming issue of Spooge or Jizz or some such magazine that will be doing a pictorial on the the women of Tiger Woods. And the good money says that the title will be something along the lines of "The Ladies and the Tiger" or "Wood Nymphs: A Tasty Pictorial Four Holes Short of a Round."
     Reply
    TheSometimesWhy was starred TheSometimesWhy was unstarred
    Image of NowMyButtHurts NowMyButtHurts
    12/18/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    wait.. Three Olives Root Beer Vodka(?)

    i'm pretty sure THAT is my Fear Factor
     Reply
    NowMyButtHurts was starred NowMyButtHurts was unstarred
    Image of TheSometimesWhy TheSometimesWhy
    12/17/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    "Spare me and let me shop." If that isn't an epitaph for the ages, someone knock me over with a bad hair weave.

    I don't want to say this woman's performance was wooden, but if her sexual prowess is anything like her acting (dis)abilities, I wouldn't be surprised if Tiger experienced a post-coital termite infestation of Orkinian proportion,
     Reply
    TheSometimesWhy was starred TheSometimesWhy was unstarred
    Image of DennyCrane DennyCrane
    12/17/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    Did you ask Ronn what it's like to be losing Douchebag of the Decade to Joe Francis? He should have been given the chance to make a stump speech.
     Reply
    DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    12/17/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    Seriously guys, this is fun. Seriously, though, this is the opposite of fun. This is awful. This is just...the worst.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    12/17/09

    @Foster Kamer: The longest 15 minutes ever.
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of contains_hot_liquid contains_hot_liquid
    12/17/09

    @Foster Kamer: That is generally not something ever said while fun is being had.
     Reply
    contains_hot_liquid was starred contains_hot_liquid was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    12/17/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    If I were trying to sanitize my reputation I sure wouldn't do it on "bid here."
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny
    12/17/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    I feel like e-bay paid for this spot.
     Reply
    rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny was starred rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/17/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    I haven't seen acting that stiff since Terry Kiser's turn as the titular dead guy in "Weekend At Bernie's."
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of TheSometimesWhy TheSometimesWhy
    12/17/09

    @AzureTexan: Ah, the classics never die, do they, Azure? And who can forget Mr. Kiser's turn as the tragically named stand-up comic, Vic Hitler, on the old "Hill Street Blues" series?

    That man out the "rigor" back in rigor mortis!
     Reply
    TheSometimesWhy was starred TheSometimesWhy was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/17/09

    @TheSometimesWhy: Vic Hitler — now THAT'S a classic.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Jes St.Lawrence Jes St.Lawrence
    12/17/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    Much better with the sound off.
     Reply
    Jes St.Lawrence was starred Jes St.Lawrence was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    12/17/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    If my husband schtupped this chick, my only hope would be he would end up having to spend the rest of his life with her.
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of DennyCrane DennyCrane
    12/17/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    #headasplode
     Reply
    DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/17/09

    In reply to Tiger Woods Girl + Ronn [sic] Torossian = This (Updated)
    Ronn (sic) hauled her in the office for questioning over the dump in the ladies' room and Tampongate.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    12/17/09

    @scroll_lock: Is that tempest still brewing?
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/17/09

    @blix: The hole thing hasn't blown over yet.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of paul7777 paul7777
    12/17/09

    @scroll_lock: They really need to put a cork in tampon-gate, and let a few dozen missed tresses in the ladies room pass so this young lady can get her shopping done.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker promoted this comment paul7777 was starred paul7777 was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/17/09

    @paul7777: They're just trying to keep her reputation from circling the bowl.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of paul7777 paul7777
    12/17/09

    @BettyCrocker: There are a lot of holes in this story, and they could all use locks and sign-in sheets.
     Reply
    paul7777 was starred paul7777 was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/17/09

    @paul7777: Someone has to stop the leaks!
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    12/16/09

    In reply to Who's the Douche of the Decade?
    Why does O'Reilly not appear anymore?
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of gawkimo gawkimo
    12/16/09

    In reply to Who's the Douche of the Decade?
    Dick Cheney.

    I mean, he's not a douche because he orchestrated a war we didn't need, civil rights violations against Americans and non-Americans alike, and promoted corrupt private contracting policies that exported war merchants to the Middle East at the expense of the safety of our real Army.

    He's a douche because he did all of that while being a smirky condescending douche.

    He is the Tiger Woods of douche, and that says a lot because Tiger Woods is a pretty big douche himself.

    If his douchyness were a chocolate cake, it would be the most delicious and moist chocolate cake in the world.

    If Dick Cheney's douchyness could play guitar, it would be Jimi Hendrix playing the Star Spangled Banner.

    Dick Cheney's douche is so douchy it could flush out every vagina on the planet, human and non-human.

    The only time Dick Cheney didn't come of as General Douche McDoucheybottoms was when Rush Limbaugh was licking Dick Cheney's balls and going all they way down the shaft and swallowing on the teevee.

    And though Rush Limbaugh is a douche, Dick Cheney's douche could out-douche Rush Limbaugh's douche and still have enough douche left over to waterboard 1,000 Arabs . . . with douche.

    DOOSH!
     Reply
    Edited by gawkimo at 12/16/09 12:36 PM gawkimo was starred gawkimo was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/16/09

    @gawkimo: OK, that was entertaining--but Cheney (and I believe this was addressed downthread) was simply too important and influential to be a mere douche. Ditto Bush.

    The way I see it, douchery implies a certain sense of overinflated self-importance that is at odds with reality.

    You can't make the case that the half-penguin, half-cyborg, half-Darth Vader (I realize that doesn't add up but roll with me) was merely self-important..
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of Mediahohoho Mediahohoho
    12/16/09

    @snugbug: Okay, he's important. Can I call him Fuckstick of the Millennium?
     Reply
    Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    12/16/09

    @Mediahohoho: Actually, in keeping with the Darth Vader component, you could call him the Millennium Fuckstick.
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/16/09

    @Mediahohoho: Sure! But the millennium is still young..
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of OhBilly OhBilly
    12/16/09

    In reply to Who's the Douche of the Decade?
    Ultimately I chose who I thought would be the most offended by the title. Bill O'Reilly? He'd be amused. Tucker Max? He'd be thrilled. Joe Francis? Too laden with legal problems to notice.

    But Carrie Prejean. This ignorant do-nothing might actually shed a tear or two to be named Douchebag of the Decade.

    And that might make this decade of douchebaggery that much more worthwhile.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming promoted this comment OhBilly was starred OhBilly was unstarred
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