The people of Boston are currently holed up in their homes as authorities canvas the area for a suspect considered "armed and extremely dangerous." Meanwhile, Martha Stewart is working frantically to protect her grandchildren from an even more sinister enemy: flowers.

A 40-year-old woman from Altoona, Pennsylvania was recently arrested for drunk driving after she tried (or, perhaps more tellingly, after she failed) to seduce a state trooper. And now you want some details, right?