Baby Goes Outside
Look at it: A baby. The royal baby! One of two, actually.
New Royal Baby Meets Old Royal Baby in British Baby Prince-travaganza
Since her birth early last month, a number of questions have lingered about reigning royal baby Princess Charlotte. Is she, for instance, the same royal baby we’ve seen before or different one entirely? If different, which of the two babies is larger? And does this (supposedly) new royal baby look kinda freaked out?
Royal Baby Named "Charlotte," Is Totally Such a Charlotte for Sure
Kate Middleton gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday, and today the world finally learned her name.
Kate Middleton Gives Birth to Human Girl
Of all the babies that were born on Saturday—and there were several—one of the babies was a royal baby, which, as these things go, is a pretty good kind of baby to be. This particular royal baby was born to Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, and is a girl.
Royal Baby 2 to Burst Out of Royal Uterus Next April, Blood Everywhere
The British royal family confirmed Monday that the chilling sequel to 2013's "Royal Baby" is scheduled to hit Britain in April of next year. Also Kate Middleton still can't stop throwing up. It's worth it, though, for her beautiful family.
Kate Middleton Is Pregnant With a New Royal Baby
Kensington Palace confirmed Monday that the Duchess of Cambridge is expecting her second child, which the media are tentatively calling New Royal Baby. According to the official statement, the Duchess is once again experiencing Hyperemesis Gravidarum, the severe morning sickness that plagued her first pregnancy, and…
Royal Baby Wears A Dress, Is 2 Blessed 2 Be Stressed in New Portraits
Yesterday, a baby was given the official go-ahead to serve as the Supreme Governor of the Church of England in the event his great-grandmother, grandfather, and father all suddenly cease to be. That's frightening! Thankfully there was a photographer on hand to document this weird occasion.
Royal Baby Officially on Christ's Radar
A baby who we all know, Prince George of Cambridge, is having yet another of the hundred billion strange experiences that, taken together, constitute a human life today: his parents are dressing him in a big lace dress, singing songs at him, and putting water on his head in exchange for one (1) General Admission…
Super Secret Royal Baby Family Portraits Leak on Twitter
On Monday, the press office for Prince William announced that the first official family portraits of Prince George would be released at 12:00 a.m. BST Tuesday morning. However, given the choice between waiting 3 hours to see the pictures or seeing them NOW NOW NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW, the world chose the…
Quaint Sand Sculpture Depicts Royal Family as Terrifying Beach Demons
What is it about Kate Middleton's lovely face that makes it impossible to register as anything other than nightmarish when rendered artistically?
Kate Middleton's Occupation Listed as "Princess" on Birth Certificate
As of Friday, Britain's Prince George is no longer an undocumented drifter living off the grid, subsisting on secrets and shadows; he's a person with a birth certificate. For whatever reason, the birth certificate was not filled out very neatly, but what are you gonna do? Summer Fridays, everyone's in a hurry. (Here's…
Americans Think British People Just Dress Like This
In a Monday, July 22, 2013 file photo, Tony Appleton, a town crier, announces the birth of the royal baby, outside St. Mary's Hospital exclusive Lindo Wing in London. Well-wishers waiting outside St. Mary's Hospital in London might have been forgiven for thinking Appleton had the royal seal of approval. Appleton is in…
And Now For Something More Important Than the Economy: A Baby's Name
Here's Fox News cutting away from President Obama's economic speech today to tease the naming of the royal baby.
The Royal Baby's Name Is George Alexander Louis
"His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge," officially. But in America, which bows to no one, he will be known as The G-Man.
Maybe "Jeff"?
Guesses in the comments! The winner will receive bragging rights and a short-lived sense of satisfaction.
Here's the First Picture of the Royal Baby
Everyone's close personal friends Prince William and Kate Middleton emerged from St. Mary's hospital on Tuesday with a brand new baby boy they made or found or something.
Intern Dressed as Royal Guard Stands in Stifling Heat Outside Pizza Hut
Of all the royal baby marketing tie-ins — and there have been more than a few — Pizza Hut's "Royal Offer" will likely be crowned the most distasteful.
When Can We See the Royal Baby?
Where is the Royal Baby? The tiny heir to the British throne has been born (we're told!) but remains in the Lido Wing of St. Mary's Hospital with his parents—though he may make an appearance today.
Bookmaking agency Paddy Power currently has "George" and "James" as the favorite bets for the royal baby's name. Meanwhile, "Wayne"—as in "King Wayne"—is trailing the pack at 250/1.
Kate Middleton Just Gave Birth to a Baby Boy
Hordes of sleepy Australian cameramen and rumpled Russian news anchors will have a great orgy in the streets of London tonight, for the Duchess of Cambridge has finally given birth to the Cookie Monster that has been growing inside her like a parasite for the better part of a year: a healthy baby boy.
