Shelter in place—there’s a high drama alert on the streets of London, where a secret queen has come forth to claim her fortune.

In a video recently obtained and published by British tabloid The Sun, the 7-year-old Princess Elizabeth, who would later be crowned Queen Elizabeth II, is seen to give the Nazi salute. Elizabeth is the middle-sized child in the screenshot above.

In gross defiance of both our Declaration of Independence and our Bill of Rights, some unemployed British tourists are hoping to enforce a dress code on our free American press corps. Sir and madam, the only rule of dressing on these shores is: Take that crown off your head and shove it up your ass.

The Daily Telegraph ran a front-page story this morning about England's attempts to teach nursery-school kids "fundamental British values" to protect them from radical indoctrination. After all, you wouldn't want them to end up like the poor baby in the photo, pictured with two dangerous religious extremists.

Prince George, heir to the British throne, turned one human year old on Tuesday. An occasion for celebration, perhaps, and yet we find ourselves troubled: If one thing has become clear over the last year, it is that George Alexander Louis of Cambridge is far from ready to serve as the solemn figurehead of a…

Queen Elizabeth II hangs with horse Teaforthree and human Rebecca Morris of Cotts Farm Equine Hospital during an official visit to Narbeth, Wales, on Tuesday. Image via Matthew Horwood/Getty.

Prince William looks over the cliff edge as he and his wife Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, observe abseiling and team building exercises at Narrow Neck Lookout near Katoomba, Australia, on Thursday. Image via Ryan Pierse, Pool/AP.

Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, holds Prince George during a visit to Plunket nurse and parents group in Wellington, New Zealand, on Wednesday. Plunket is a nonprofit group that provides care for New Zealand children and families. Image via Marty Melville, Pool/AP.

Britain's Prince William, with Maori Elder Lewis Moeau, picks up a challenge made by a Maori warrior at the official welcome ceremony for William and his wife Kate in Wellington, New Zealand, on Monday. Image via SNPA, Ross Setford/AP.

Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, have an audience with Pope Francis at the Vatican during their one-day visit to Rome on Wednesday. Image via Oli Scarff/Getty.

[Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, presents Domhnall the Irish Wolfhound with a shamrock during a visit to the 1st Battalion Irish Guards at the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Aldershot, England, on Monday. Image via Kirsty Wigglesworth/AP.]

DJ Fresh Prince Charles, meteorologist to the stars, showed off a new talent today when he joined the royal Saudi family to perform the Ardah, a traditional sword dance.

[Prince Charles, dressed in traditional Saudi uniform, prepared to draw his sword during private visit to Saudi Arabia today. Image by Fayez Nureldine via AP.]