According to the New York Times, the premiere at both the AMC Magic Johnson theater in Harlem and the Regal E-Walk Stadium 13 in Times Square were a complete bust. There has been a lot of anticipation for the film, cobbled together after Jackson's death in June with footage recorded at rehearsals for the This Is It tour. Well, anticipation everywhere but the Big Apple. Only a few dozen fans gathered at the Magic Johnson, and the Regal only sold out one of the three screens the movie was playing on, even though they managed to attract a bunch of B-listers.

Compare that to L.A., which filled the Nokia Theatre LA Live and had all sorts of A-listers turn out. In France, Germany, and China, thousands of fans—many in their finest Michael Jackson regalia—went to check out the film. In New York, everyone yawned and went home early on a rainy night.

Let us compare some pictures of the evening, shall we?

[Images via Getty]

A fan got all dressed up as a Michael Jackson doll for the film's premiere in Tokyo.
Jermaine Jackson and other members of the Jackson Five walked the red carpet outside the Nokia Theatre, which hosted Hollywood's celebrity-riddled premiere.
A scant crowd gathers outside the Regal theater in Times Square.
A fan busts some of MJ's moves before attending the premiere in Mumbai.
In typical fashion, Joe Jackson made it all about himself, accepting a "celebrity star" before the Las Vegas premiere at the Palms Resort.
Will Smith signing autographs at the L.A. premiere. Other celebrities in attendance included Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez, Paula Abdul, Adam Lambert, Neil Patrick Harris, Katy Perry, Allison Janney, Anne Heche, and the cast of Glee.
Julie Henderson, Russell Simmons, Coco, Ice T, and Nile Rodgers arrive in New York. Other celebrities people in attendance included Gayle King, Michael Urie, Rosie Perez, Nikki Blonsky, Carol Alt, Dreama Walker, Sherri Shepard, Nigel Barker, and Dylan Lauren.
The afterparty for the L.A. premiere featured a pack house and the ghost of Michael Jackson as channeled by a giant seance.
A large crowd gathers—including a flash mob—gathers outside the Grand Rex theater in Paris. Le freak, c'est chic!
The German audience in Berlin couldn't wait to moonwalk into the Cinestar theater.
A Jackson tribute show entertained thousands of fans in front of the Saga Theater in Beijing. Apparently, Michael Jackson attire was optional.

• Angelina Jolie, growing increasingly uncomfortable with Jennifer Aniston sending "motivational texts" to Brad Pitt, has told Aniston to "back off" of her man who used to Aniston's man before she stole him from her. Why don't they just move to Utah and all get married and be one big, happy family? [Mirror]
  
  
• According to the author of a new book, Marlon Brando nailed Jackie O twice during a two day fling in 1964. The author said that Brando had written notes on the affair for his memoir, but Random House later insisted that the passage be cut. [Page Six]
  
  
• The allegedly rehabbed Lily Allen went out the other night and a paparazzi caught a photo of her with "white debris" all up in her nose. [Sun]
  
  
• Gavin DeGraw, Jason Mraz and Rob Thomas spill the beans on what it's like to be a musician on the road with lots of young ladies willing to give themselves to them. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Lindsay Lohan smokes cigarettes while she's sitting in the beautician's chair getting her hair did. But in her defense, that can take like, what, two whole hours or something? [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Victoria Beckham stepped out in a tanktop so that all the paparazzi could get a look at her brand new boobs. She recently had her third breast augmentation, a reduction this time. [Sun]
  
  
• Katy Perry posted a picture of herself nude in a bathtub with her privates covered by a pizza onto her Twitter account, and the Brits are all in a tizzy. [Sun]
  
  
• Joy Behar has called off her marriage to longtime boyfriend Steve Janowitz. She claims they're still together and that she just had another case of cold feet. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Russell Simmons has dumped the grapefruit heiress he's been dating for a model named Noemie Lenoir. [Page Six]
  
  
• Some New Orleans residents have started a movement to try to encourage Brad Pitt to run for mayor next year when Ray Nagin is term-limited out of office. [nola.com]
  
  
• Now that Seth Rogen has dropped a bunch of weight, expect gossip to float each time he gets caught eating too much of something good in public, like this Page Six item busting his balls for eating a bowl of pasta, [Page Six]

  pic via

Ashley has a new 'blog' today! What's she been up to? Oh yoga and this and that, etc.:

In great part, discovering my identity came through the quiet reflection I enjoyed while practicing yoga, and the inner strength I've developed attracts powerful things. I'm seeing that the stronger I am at my core, the more natural and effortless it becomes to draw positive people and uplifting experiences into my life. For example, never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined befriending Russell Simmons while taking class at a yoga school I started going to in the past year. This school has been the safe haven for my self-study and spiritual development. The more I know my true self, the more I come to have faith that my presence on earth means more or at least has different meaning than the media or disbelievers have tried to frame it to be.

We have to level with you, Ashley: you're doing exactly the right thing, which is no good for our purposes. Ignoring the media, being quiet, meditating, learning humility, and focusing on self-improvement are great ways to become a better person and move past your scandalous past. What the hell are we supposed to do with that, hmm? We had a better career plan for you: Porn. Why do you ignore this easy money in favor of spiritual salvation?

See, you doing scandalous things pays our salary, Ashley. Porn sells. If you're gonna screw us on that, at least don't stop blogging. (But still, consider porn).
[Ashley writes things here]

Julie Henderson comes from a good family. Her grandfather Samuel Henderson invented the Henderson grapefruit in the 1960's and built an empire in Texas . She has been modeling for the past 7 years and is an accomplished Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue favorite appearing in the issue 3 years in a row.

This arrived under the subject line "Further Clarification Regarding Russell Simmons and Julie Henderson." Thank you, Ryan Brown at Factory PR, for providing this mystifying clarification of your client's sexual purity and family grapefruit empire. Then he totally pasted this photo in the bottom of the email:

We hope this clears up this "Julie Henderson is a high fallutin' call girl golddigger" issue once and for all.

Simmons Jewelry

Jacob the Jeweler:

A riveting memoir, Hiding In Hip Hop, uncovers a hidden and well-known unspoken secret. Deep within the confines of Hip-Hop is a prominent gay sub-culture. A world that industry insiders are keenly aware of, but choose to ignore. From the testosterone of men striving to be on top and in control, to the "by any means necessary" bravado in an industry that thrives on power, homosexuality is a reality at nearly every level of Hip-Hop.

What's really surprising is that hip hop has managed to keep the identities of its gay people officially secret for this long. Rap has been big business and big money for a long time, but unlike in Hollywood—where gossip hounds have essentially uncovered the gay celebrities, who are then allowed to go about their business—the rap industry still feels that being openly gay could jeopardize an artist's career for good. Tom Cruise hasn't lost work because of the gay rumors surrounding him; Jay-Z surely would. It's a barrier that everyone remains afraid to cross. A rapper who started out as openly gay could theoretically make a career in hip hop, but it would not be a mainstream one. Even today, fostering the twin images of sex lord and crime lord are the most reliable way that MCs propel themselves into superstardom. Though this is changing (see Kanye), it's a long way from changed.

So when Hiding In Hip Hop comes out on May 13—assuming that it does out some identifiable figures in hip hop, and that it is reliable—the fallout will be fascinating to watch. I would expect immediate denials, and private reprisals from anyone named. But the real gay rappers, whoever they are, would be wise to stand up and be counted for the first time. They would go down in history for something much bigger than mediocre album sales. And the marketing opportunities would be enough to relaunch a flagging career, albeit in a slightly more bohemian arena.

If Del tha Funkee Homosapien came out as gay, no one would care. If a hardcore rapper like, say, Fat Joe came out, people would be surprised. But if one of the usual suspects like Kanye or Puffy came out, they would be positioned to use their already-deep resources to continue their careers as trailblazers. So a bit of advice to whoever may be named in the book (assuming it's true): Don't be the mad rapper. When you're dead and gone, one small step you took towards toning down the homophobia in hip hop would be worth much more than your music. And if you are Puffy, your music always sucked anyways. So go for it!

(And if anyone happens to get their hands on the book before May 13, email us.)

• Is 30 Rock the new Saturday Night Live? Tina Fey, SNL alum and 30 Rock creator, is talking about bringing onto the show that whore chick Ashley Dupre and also that less-insane-by-the-day singer Britney Spears. Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan don't bring enough crazy to the party? Really?
• Spears is also looking at hosting the Kids' Choice Awards at the end of the month. So many things could go wrong, and it would be so awesome, on some sick and twisted level, if they did. [OK!]
• But Spears won't have a meltdown, because she's on the right track, and you can tell because she now has good teeth. Or at least good teeth products. From a dentist and everything! [Popsugar]
• Puppy-and-kitten-hating monster Paris Hilton adopted another victim from a thoughtless animal shelter on Long Island. The doomed creature is a West Highland terrier. Former dog-sitter: "Last time I watched her dog, she forgot I had it and assumed it was lost." [MSNBC, second item]
• Diva model Tyra Banks is going to quit America's Next Top Model or maybe stab photographer Jay Manuel instead. She is lethal. [OK!]
• Scientology's inner-city ambassador Kimora Lee Simmons filed for divorce from her husband, hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons, now that she's reportedly knocked up by her boyfriend. She wants the kids, and for Russell only to be able to visit with "security personnel" present, since he's the one who is crazy. [People]
• Yes, Kylie Minogue, gay techo laureate, is coming to the U.S. with her new album, but it's only for stupid TV appearances, no concerts. On the bright side, who's to say she won't show up at a club or two? [Queerty]
• Comedian Robin Williams is hilariously improvising his latest divorce. This one lasted nearly 20 years; she had been nanny to his child. That guy is so wacky. [SF Chronicle]
• Gossip Girl dude Chace Crawford is no longer dating American Idol fameball Carrie Underwood. Possibly because he's too, uh, "close" to this guy from 'N Sync. [Perez]
• Hills star Heidi Montag wants look-alikes to work as models during a launch party for her fashion line. Must effectively hate on Lauren Conrad during the tryout. [Us]

D. SOLOMON: Are you dyslexic?
R. SIMMONS: Oprah renamed the book. It was like God calling. She gave me a better title.

Really? That's pretty generic.
I think it's all God. I say that all day long. The real process is doing you and having a truth that you live up to. Donald [Trump] is different than a lot of other very rich people. He has a good time. He is always laughing. He's into doing him.

You're known for dating models. What do they offer besides flawless skin?
I talk to John Edwards more than I talk to anyone. He has said more things about the conditions we need to think about. He went to yoga with me. He did the whole class, an hour and a half. He sweated like crazy. He's in good shape, but it was hard on him.

Are there any presidential candidates who inspire you?
Why? You think I'm crazy?

Your book basically advocates for old-fashioned American values — i.e., work hard, don't give up.
No. I can read. But I can't understand anything. I just read "The Autobiography of a Yogi," by Paramahansa Yogananda, over and over again.

What do you make of Barack Obama, who recently said that rap musicians should reform their lyrics?
We're separated. She works upstairs. People do think it's inspiring the way we handle our partnership.

In the years since you sold your stake in Def Jam, you've gone into the fashion business and developed clothing lines like Phat Farm and Baby Phat. Do you still run them with your wife, Kimora Lee?
Unfortunately, I do. My nickname is Rush, but I practice yoga every day so I can rush less.

You write extensively about your devotion to yoga in your new self-help book, "Do You!" Is the title your own coinage?
What we need to reform is the conditions that create these lyrics. Obama needs to reform the conditions of poverty. I wish he really did raise his money on the Internet, like he said. I wish he really did raise his money independently.

Why did you, a self-proclaimed seeker of spiritual truths, ask Donald Trump, of all people, to write the foreword to the book?
A professor? I can barely read.

No, but you seem to have a heightened need for stimulation.
No. It's an old hip-hop expression: "Do you!" It's just something we say all the time. It means do what you want to do. Do what inspires you. Don't be a sheep. Keep it real. The book was originally called "Russell Simmons' Laws of Success."

Do you see a therapist?
They're better than actresses. Actresses are kind of a little crazy.

There are other women besides models and actresses. Why don't you try dating, say, a professor the next time around?
No it's not. It's noise. It's the opposite. To be awake is to be fully present, no noise, just you and God. Most of us only have seconds of full consciousness. To live in a state of samadhi — that's what we're here for. —Jon

Hip-Hop Guru: Questions for Russell Simmons [NYTM]

• Though Jessica Simpson's rep denies it, rumors are swirling that her dad Joe wants to svengali up Britney Spears. [R&M]
  
• Designer Marc Jacobs' ex-rentboy on and off bf still has notably loose lips, offering up quotes like "Marc has found his way; he's going to be sober for the rest of his life" and bragging about their "like, five fake break-ups." A Jacobs spokesperson says they're not back together. [NYO]
  
• Gay, gay wedding bells are ringing for blog queen Andrew Sullivan and an actor named Eric. [NYO]
  
• Anderson Cooper keeps his goodies under wraps in the showers at Equinox. [Page Six]
  
• Russell Simmons and Tyra Banks "forgot" to pay their lunch tab. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]

Fashion Week: Rock & Republic Afterparty @ Hiro Ballroom [photos]

They came separately for a bling-is-good press conference yesterday - he in baggy jeans, she in a clingy dress and heels so high, I could hear her arches disintegrating.

Sometimes, you want to throw up your hands, spit out your lungs and take a stiff drink at the shamelessness of it all.

• A reader emails us that her friend who works at the Daily Show suggested sending us the sign above because it was just so funny. Wow, working at Comedy Central must be really depressing.
  
• Joel Klein and Russell Simmons made a video together about voting. Next week: Mayor Bloomberg and Jay-Z rap about smoking cigarettes, trans fats. [NYM]
  
• Chelsea Clinton probably didn't watch the video, because she couldn't vote. [NYT]
  
• The Yale Daily News endorses both candidates in the Connecticut Senate race. How very useful for the electorate. [IvyGate]
  

We just don't see how they couldn't make it work. They all seemed so happy, so full of love. What went wrong? Kimora had all the clothes, shoes, cars, pets, products, servants, delicacies, fashion lines, pot, handbags, closets, and jewelry that his money could buy.

Russell, Kimora Lee Simmons Split [People]