• Rumors are swirling that the fairy tale love affair between Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds might be coming to an end. There have been numerous reports of ugly public spats between the two of late and now it appears as though a recent fight just prior to Comic-Con caused Reynolds to cancel his appearance because he didn't want to be around his delicious wife. Scarlett reportedly got so mad that she ripped off her wedding ring and threw it at him or something. And now the producers of Green Latern are pissed at Reynolds for canceling the promotional appearance over a fight with his wife. Now, I don't usually give two shits about celebrity breakups, but these two potentially breaking up makes me kind of sad, which is sad in and of itself I guess. [Update: Reynolds' reps at 42 West contacted us and say this tale, first reported by FoxNews.com, and say that he was never going to go to Comic-Con so there was no appearance to cancel: "The story you have posted about Ryan Reynolds is completely untrue. Warner Brothers never planned to have Green Lantern as part of their panel at this year's Comic Con and Ryan is in Europe shooting a film."] [Fresh News]
  
  
• Why are the men of America shunning America's deformed-thumbed walking Halloween costume, Megan Fox? According to a few men's magazines (probably staffed by gay males), the mens are tired of the Megan Foxes. Personally, I'm torn on Megan Fox. I go back and forth a lot, but after seeing her humble, witty, self-depreciating appearance on Letterman a couple of weeks ago, I want to cuddle with her and eat blueberries and watch Silver Spoon reruns on TV Land. Just saying. [Daily News and Asylum]
  
  
• Bar Refaeli is getting over Leo DiCaprio by boning a "Brazilian playboy" named Ricardo. Yep, that sounds about right. [Page Six]
  
  
• The ridiculously beautiful Kate Beckinsale celebrated her 36th birthday out on the town in LA with Eva Longoria and Victoria Beckham. [Sun]
  
  
• Marilyn Manson has had enough of scumbag journalists saying bad things about him and he took to his Myspace page to issue a threat to all of them—If they write anything bad about him, Marilyn will eat their hearts in a teriyaki stir fry. [Page Six]
  
  
• Jay-Z got a huge book deal to write a tell-all autobiography and detail his past drug-dealing and womanizing and all that kind of stuff. [Mirror]
  
  
• Kid Rock is not a fan of Twitter. When asked what he thought about it he replied, "It's gay." Yep, Kid Rock is right again, and yes, I do have a Twitter account, so I can say that. [Page Six]
  
  
• Poor Paris Hilton is all broken up about the sex tape that made her dumb ass one of the most famous people in the world. She claims that she was betrayed and blah, blah, blah, but I think she was in on it. I could be wrong. [Sun]
  
  
• Michael Chabon is taking time off from writing books to launch an anti-circumcision campaign or something. [Page Six]
  
  
• Mischa Barton was all smiles as she returned back to work yesterday after a stint in a psychiatric ward. [Daily Mail]

• Today's big Rush and Malloy scoop: Brad and Angelina are looking to get a pad in the Upper West Side. I know what you're thinking: we've been through this before, and we did not like the results. The sacrificial real estate envy of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick cost so much emotionally to only have some computer nerd show up in their place. But Rush and Malloy are careful not to get your hopes up: the agents for the building is having problems selling the units, and they need to do so in order for the owner's offering plan to operate for another year. Anyway, I kind of don't want them here. Not that I'd prefer one celebrity over another, but at a certain point in New York, paparazzi nonsense begins to get in your way. Like, I'm sorry, but I don't want Brad and Angie Plus Three Imported Children And A Few Others Plus A Cabal Of Photogs pushing their way through Zabars while I try to get a bagel and not trip over the old bubbies who go there. Like, when you're in your neighborhood in New York, that kind of insane bullshit's the last thing you need. You're already paranoid and skittish and hungry enough as is. Also, can you imagine waiting in line at Gray's Papaya behind them? There are only two kinds of hot dogs, but seven kinds of juice, and you know they'd just take FOREVER to decide that they all want Coke and Angelina would make them drink Papaya juice and they'd all be crying and you'd just be like, for fuck's sake, I came to get a hot dog and now this? And then some vaguely European paparazzo would take a picture of you shoving a hotdog in your face and it would ruin Gray's Papaya for you. Just, like, ruin it. [Rush and Malloy]
  
  
• What? Partridge Family star Shirley Jones somehow made today's roundup. What did it take? The promise of nudity, of course. Jones was going to do a playboy spread until Hef saw the test shoot results and wanted to see more skin. So, Playboy subscribers, it's nice to know that the Hef is using your magazine as his own octogenarian porn vehicle, right? Okay, so, Jones is only 75. But still: Calendar Girls, ahoy. [Page Six]
  
  
• Paul McCartney couldn't reunite the Beatles, even with blow and Stevie Wonder. Paul McCartney came close to reuniting the Beatles on a coked-out night with Wonder and John Lennon. Now, take a deep breath, and one wild, insane guess as to why it didn't happen. Okay. Done guessing? If your answer doesn't rhyme with Foko Bono, it's wrong. What, you thought there was a problem with George Harrison or something? Honestly, the Walrus might've been Paul, but the blackbird of death was Yoko. [R & M]
  
  
• Also, Robert Plant is awesome and is being knighted for being awesome. [E!]
  
  
• Jeremy Piven was skeezing on Hayden Panettiere at the Entourage premiere on Thursday night. Away, old man. Seriously. Also, like every other Entourage-related item that's appeared anywhere, Jerry Ferrara (Turtle) was seen "cuddling" or something with Jamie Lynn-Sigler. If you don't watch the show, well, they're together on the show and in real life. And it is ridiculous-cute and gives hope to rotund, hat-wearing underachievers with bad nicknames that stick forever everywhere that one day they, too, may date Meadow Soprano. [Page Six]
  
  
• William Shatner couldn't get in on the Star Trek franchise revival feature, but he is wanted for the TJ Hooker version of this. Go figure. To be the Shat is a life lived curiously examined. [Page Six]
  
  
• Ah, yes: the lame sequel to yesterday's item about Jennifer Aniston shooting at the Daily News. You get to hear about how exciting and not contrived it was to work in a "real newsroom" and be issues "fake Daily News ID cards" and how Jennifer Aniston snacked on string cheese. Seriously. Way to bring the hurt, Daily News. Gossip fail. Oh, and really sad for the lack of crossover between the Rush and Malloy UWS scoop and this. Something like "Jennifer's sad and slaving it away with the rest of us hacks while her ex-mans, lady, and twelve kids are checking out a slick UWS pad and noshing on some Gray's Papaya." [Daily News]
  
  
• Brody Jenner's girlfriend, some Jayde Nicole person whose name or existence I don't understand, was trying to convince someone, somewhere that The Hills is real. This is like that time someone tried to convince you that visits to the proctologist are a blast, and you were like, no, but, you know, maybe? And then you were like, WTF, NO. [E!]
  
  
• Debbie Rowe is going to the custody hearing of Michael Jackson's children, and this somehow constitutes a People item. Then again, it's People. And here I am, linking to them. Is there an over-under on how long this thing's going to dominate the gossip newscycle? There's got to be a lottery somewhere. I'm going to take two years, to be replaced by the revelation that Ron Burkle is actually a Clinton stepbrother. Longshot, I know, but I think it'd do the trick. Who's got $10 to throw down? Oh, and also, Michael Jackson didn't want his Dad to come even remotely close to his children. God, wonder why. [People and Celebrity Spy]
  
  
• Ryan Reynolds has been cast as the Green Lantern, and I haven't. Reminder: he's also married to Scarlett Johannsen and used to be with Alanis Morisette. How good is your life? [D-Listed]
  
  
• Page Six Gossip Cindy Adams hates The Hamptons. Now, normally, I'd tell you to avoid reading Cray-Cray Aunt Cindy's column because it's totally batshit old lady nonsense, but this is quite wonderful: she talks about going to garage sales in the Hamptons and explains how she acquired a pair of white fur Yak boots, among other things. Also, this: "I hate country and ants and air and the need to attend another art-gallery opening every weekend or some do-gooder esoteric charity event like, maybe, The Care and Feeding of The Endangered White Rhino of Tanzania." Today, you're Mama Cindy. Truth, Mama. Truth. [Page Six]

Hm. Noted crazy Mel Gibson will star in the film The Beaver for noted lesbian Jodie Foster, who will direct and co-star. The film, once thought to be a project for Steve Carell, is about a man who finds comfort in a beaver hand puppet. So it'll be a cheapish quirky indie type affair, although it will star one of the most vociferously strange movie stars of the past twenty years. Could be great! Could be awful. [Variety]

The Green Lantern is nearing the end of its major casting process, mulling over three actors for the lead role of a hotshot Air Force pilot who meets a dying alien and gets deputized into a space police department. (That is an actual plot of a movie. And a comic book!) Warner Brothers is trying to decide between Bradley Cooper, Ryan Reynolds, and Justin Timberlake, of all people, but is apparently having some trouble reconciling their favorite with the director's. So we'll either get a kind of boring Green Lanternt, a wise-cracking kind of annoying Green Lantern, or a singin' dancin' Green Lantern. None of which sound terribly thrilling. [THR]

The Minnie Driver/Uma Thurman comedy Motherhood, which premiered at Sundance this year, has set an October release date. The movie is about a crazed mommy trying to plan a birthday party for her daughter while the crazy city world provides obstacles along the way. Obstacles like Isn't This Basically the Plot of Jingle All the Way and Uma Thurman Is Never Funny. [Variety]

Quirky comedy queen Zooey Deschanel has signed on to play James Franco's love interest in the David Gordon Green comedy Your Highness, about a lazy prince (Danny McBride) who must go on a quest to save his kingdom. Other than the fact that Natalie Portman plays McBride's wildly disproportionate love interest, this film is weird because it looks as though Gordon Green really is going down this broad comedy route. Will we ever get a George Washington, All the Real Girls, or Snow Angels again? [THR]

Nicole Kidman will star in and produce a movie version of the book Little Bee, about a wealthy British couple who has an encounter with a Nigerian orphan while on an African vacation. No word yet on whether Jerry Seinfeld will voice the orphan character. [Variety]

Everwood surly teen Gregory Smith has joined the cast of that Canadian Grey's Anatomy-with-badges police drama Copper that will air on ABC in the States. Treat Williams is wondering if maybe there's a part for a tough-but-principled chief or something. [THR]

Ugh. Shoulda-been-gone-by-now Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder has landed a Comedy Central sitcom. It's about a laid-off IT worker who leaves his urban life to return home to the small town where he grew up. Which has been the idea for basically everything these days. In a nifty little distribution deal, if the sitcom's first batch of episodes do well, an automatic 90 more will be ordered. Yeesh. [Variety]

Even though she's all grown up now, Mayim Bialik just can't get away from the teen stuff. The Blossom star has nabbed a recurring role on Brenda Hampton's dreadful ABC Family series The Secret Life of the American Teenager. She'll play a guidance counselor. Just like Jennie Garth does on the new, dreadful 90210. Can we say two's a trend? [Variety]

Guys, wasn't the problem with Watchmen that it was just too darn short? Didn't you want even more turgid, churning blitzkrieg 80s superhero angst? Well, you're in luck. A special 25-minutes-longer director's cut of the film will be screened in New York, Dallas, Minneapolis, and LA a week before Comic-Con in San Diego starts. Those extra 25 minutes really ought to make the movie sing. Hopefully it's just 25 extra minutes of hideously awkward owl-mobile sex. [THR]

Speaking of short-term releases, Lars von Trier's new gross-out horror flick Antichrist will bow, pre-Halloween, in New York and LA on October 23rd. Nothing says "Let's go get some Twizzlers in eight days" quite like Willem Dafoe and bloody ejaculate. [Variety]

All that hoo-haw about how teenagers are too busy Twitter-texting and YouTube-sexting to watch TV, so let's do a whole big media shift? Bunk, says the Nielsen Co. They just released a study that found that our pimpliest are no different from our wrinkliest, really. This was all part of something that Nielsen organizes annually, called the What Teens Want Conference. Which is sort of creepy. [THR]

Snide Canadian of the hour Ryan Reynolds is taking a slight detour from his successful career as young romantic whippersnapper and dual weapon holder to star in something dark. He'll play the lead in Buried, about a private contractor who is kidnapped in Iraqistan and wakes up buried in a coffin with only a candle, a cellphone, a knife, and his chiseled-like-the-glaciers-of-Baffin Bay physique to help him escape. So, two hours of Ryan Reynolds squirming around in a box. Quite a literal interpretation of what the ladies have been asking for. [Variety]

This (500) Days of Summer movie is apparently pretty good. [THR]

OMG you guys, Bob Orchard left the ART! [Variety]

[More at Jezebel!]

If you'll recall that Johansson's new husband Ryan Reynolds recently revealed a third, superfluous nipple to Rachel Ray (it wasn't as sexually incriminating as it sounds), perhaps you'll be able to read between the lines of Johansson's non sequitur rant to the Chicago Sun-Times:

Q: What is the one thing you don't understand about men?

SCARLETT: Nipples. I don't know if there is one aspect of men that I don't understand other than why they have nipples. Honestly, why? I guess it has something to do with the X chromosome. What is the function of the male nipple? Maybe we all start as androgynous creatures and then they become men?

For someone whose most minor bodily expulsions can fetch several thousand dollars, it's no surprise that Johansson finds herself dismissive of Reynolds's nipples, which despite their number, haven't seemed to add to their bottom line. Just don't start knocking the abs, Scarlett—that's where your husband gets his breadwinning power from.

• Stop draggin' their hearts around [Sun-Times]

Rachel Ray: You blogged a lot leading up to the race about worrying about your nipples. There is no nice way to say this, your nipples bleed from the friction and stuff.

Ryan Reynolds: Weird things happen to you. Thankfully all three nipples are fine. I was really concerned because I was at the finish line two years ago, and I watched these people coming in and it was like watching the music video to “Thriller.” It was really horrifying to watch, and I thought what am I going to do about this? I know you’re supposed to put Vaseline on, and some people said if you put Vaseline on if your chest you’re going to be fine. I was like, should I wear a running bra? Will people know?

Hold the phone, now! Can the eternally barechested Reynolds really have a third nipple that has somehow escaped scrutiny? A Google image search for "Ryan Reynolds shirtless" turned up no discernible evidence (yet still felt completely worthwhile), though an invaluable blog named Quadnips mentions that Reynolds is rumored to be superfluously endowed. Ryan, we're waiting for proof. We'll take a high-res photo (sans Weinstein Co. doctoring) or an in-person examination. We're not choosy!

• Rachael Ray

MEN

1. Dana Carvey, 3:04:21 (Ocean to Bay Marathon, 1972) — Carvey is the only hint this marathon ever existed, though with photographic evidence scarce, we reluctantly place him at the top of the list of the World's Fastest Celeb Marathoner.

2. Björn Ulvaeus, 3:23:54 (Stockholm Marathon, 1980) — The ABBA co-founder also engineered a revolutionary antecedent to the Walkman and iPod, trademarking the waist-cinching Phonostrap to blast LP's on his high-energy training runs.

3. William Baldwin, 3:24:29 (New York City Marathon, 1992) — Before Alec divorced Kim Basinger, he was the only Baldwin brother to finish a marathon.

4. George W. Bush, 3:44:52 (Houston Marathon, 1993) — In an eerie harbinger of things to come, finished in 158th place but was declared the winner anyway.

5. Will Ferrell, 3:56:12 (Boston Marathon, 2003) — Trained naked, obviously, but ran the marathon in full Alex Trebex regalia (see above).

WOMEN

1. Kim Alexis, 3:52:00 (New York City Marathon, 1992) — Would likely have broken 3:40 if not for the mid-race "stretch break" with Baldwin.

2. Oprah Winfrey, 4:29:20 (Marine Corps Marathon, 1994) — Wanted to get in shape for her internationally televised Oscar humiliation by David Letterman less than four months later.

3. Lisa Ling, 4:34:18 (Boston Marathon, 2002) — Cost her View co-host and compulsive marathon-better Barbara Walters $1,200 when she couldn't finish under 4:30.

4. Katie Holmes, 5:29:58 (New York City Marathon, 2007) — If she finished at all. We're not so sure.

5. Ali Landry, 5:41:41 (Boston Marathon, 2002) — The former Miss USA vowed to finish the marathon if it was the last thing she ever did. And with the exception of her short-lived series on the WB, it pretty much was.

• Why I'm Running the NYC Marathon [HuffPo]

• List of Marathoners [Wikipedia]

The wedding took place Saturday evening at a remote wilderness resort outside Vancouver. Guests included Scarlett's mother, Melanie Sloan, and her brother, Adrian Johansson.

Johansson, 23, and Reynolds, 31, who had been dating since Spring 2007, announced their engagement on May 5, the day the actress flashed a three-carat diamond ring estimated to be worth about $30,000 at the Met Costume Ball Gala.

Out congratulations go out to the happy couple, though we wonder whether this marriage will void the threesome with Johansson and a "unbelievably darn LUCKY BASTARD WINNER (♂ or ♀)" that we had been promised by this terribly official-looking website. If we have to settle for that Scarlett clone, there's going to be hell to pay.

• Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds Wed! [Us]

Scarlett Johansson has reportedly postponed her wedding - because it clashes with the U.S presidential elections.

The actress - who has publicly backed Barack Obama - is due to marry Ryan Reynolds this year (08).

But Johansson has put the nuptials on hold - because her twin brother, Hunter, is busy working on Obama's campaign.

A source tells British newspaper the Daily Express, "He is working all the time so Scarlett wants to hold off until the election is over."

Breathing a desperate sigh of relief, Johansson admirer Jay Leno went back to concocting an elaborate plan to entice the auto-loving actress into one of his many, many cars. Now given a November deadline, the talk show host has little over two months to make his auto-erotic fantasy come true — though, failing that, there's always the clone.

• Scarlett Johansson Delays Wedding? [Showbiz Spy]

[Photo Credits: The Makeup Gallery]

• Hollywood sweetheart Meg Ryan gains ten stone... after donning a fat suit [Daily Mail]

TedSez's new line beats the original, "Ryan Reynolds? What's a Ryan Reynolds? Ryan Reynolds. I'll Tell Ya What, It's- It's- It's Crazy. Ryan Reynolds."

Though it's too early to tell how many carats Scarlett's rock has, we have read that Reynolds bought his former fiance, Alanis Morissette, a 3.75 carat rock.

Naturally, Katherine Heigl had her 3 carat ring designed herself rather than trusting her frequently emasculated husband Joshua Kelley pipe in with any kind of opinion. Mariah Carey's highly confusing recent engagement to Nick Cannon has resulted in the singer sporting a possibly recycled 15 (yikes!) pink and purple tacky thing, but if anyone can pull of giant gems it would be Mimi. And, of course, Jennifer Lopez, whose infamous $1.2 million pink diamond ring was ostentatiously flashed 'round the world, only to be sold off post-breakup.

While poor Carmen Electra's new rock from rocker Rob Patterson cost a mere $100k (for celebs, that's the equivalent of shopping at Jared), we think Patterson's eccentric choice of a black diamond suits Electra perfectly. As for knocked up Ashlee Simpson, her faux-punk rocker fiance Pete Wentz reportedly made sure to give Simpson a ring without those pesky "blood diamonds" Leonardo DiCaprio taught us all about in that boring movie of the same name.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, The Mirror]

• DEFAMER WEDDINGS: SCARLETT JOHANSSON AND RYAN REYNOLDS ENGAGED TO EACH OTHER [Defamer]

Ms. Johansson, 23, is a BAFTA-winning and four-time Golden Globe-nominated actress and singer, who first rose to prominence playing a severely traumatized teenage girl in The Horse Whisperer. She later went on to receive critical acclaim for her starring turns in movies like Ghost World, Lost in Translation, and the Woody Allen-helmed Match Point, the last of which would mark the start of a long personal and creative relationship with the legendary director. Most recently, Ms. Johansson has branched out into recording arts as well, releasing an album of Tom Waits songs entitled "Anywhere I Lay My Head." It features a duet with rock icon David Bowie.

The 31-year-old Mr. Reynolds, meanwhile, has earned his own share of success as a leading man of the screen, starring in movies as diverse as The In-Laws, Blade:Trinity, and The Amityville Horror. He is frequently seen shirtless, showing off an athletic physique.

Mr. Reynolds proposed to Ms. Johansson after approximately one year of courtship. While no date has yet been set, a representative for the couple has relayed that they are "both thrilled."

This will be the second engagement for each: Mr. Reynolds was previously engaged to Canadian recording star Alanis Morrissette, while Ms. Johansson announced to shocked reporters last January that she and Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama were also to be wed. Neither engagement produced a marriage.

[Photo: People: AP/Getty]

• Scarlett & Ryan Engaged! [People]

Here was the worst question of the day: "Have you ever seen a ghost?"

I was too polite to call this lazy reporter on her hackery. She clearly had not seen the movie, or read the production notes, and was sitting down for this interview after only seeing the trailer. She'd mistakenly thought it was a haunted house movie. It's not.

I answered the irrelevant question as earnestly as I could, knowing that in four minutes and 12 seconds, another reporter would be sitting in her place...

The shamed reporter—who August mercifully denied to identify by name and affiliation—obviously has a great deal to learn about eliciting fresh material from above-the-title talent exhausted from hours of unimaginative interviews. For starters, merely watching the film's trailer is almost never enough preparation, but maybe the weary directing veteran of one feature might make an allowance when that trailer is deftly cut to give the impression that a triptych starring Ryan Reynolds that "explores the relationships between author and character, actor and role, creator and creation," is instead a haunted house movie that might draw the Amityville Horror crowd to its opening weekend.

• Guest-blogger John August survives Press Day [PopWatch]

In the interest of enjoying the open bar I went to the Just Friends premiere in Westwood last night. Despite the godawful poster, the movie isn't as bad as one might think, and the audience at Mann Village seemed into it. The movie doesn't have a lot of stars, but Ryan Reynolds was there, along with the overdressed and impossibly blonde Anna Farris (and her equally blonde entourage who could be found in various bathroom stalls throughout the night) she seemed just as vapid as her character in the movie.

Chris Klein was hanging around down with the commoners and seemed to be enjoying himself he was with a woman who looked like an even creepier version of Suzanne Somers. I feared she was his date, but later found out that she works for him. Is it just me or does he look sorta like Keanu Reeves? Maybe it's just the "dumb" thing. Also saw Bradley Cooper from Wedding Crashers and soon-to-be-gone Kitchen Confidential. He was bitching about having to go through the press line and generally seemed like a dick. There were other moderately familiar faces there, but I'm pretty bad at spotting people, and my girlfriend and I were too pissed off about the food (consisting solely of White-Castle-esque hamburgers, pigs-in-a-blanket, greasy fish sticks, grapes, and guacamole not kidding) to put our hearts into it. I mean, who throws an after-party at BrewCo?

We suppose we could have anticipated that a Hollywood premiere would be less "old-fashioned fun," more "cautionary tale." Not even the Brothers Grimm could conjure up more forboding images: soon to be out of work TV stars acting like entitled dicks, Katie Holmes' ex accompanied by a creepy Thighmaster clone, and bathroom stalls packed to the gills with blondes. It's enough to scare anyone straight.