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The New Rules For The Rich
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Lazy Susan
02/04/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
Fuck that. If I can't keep all that good shit - I just don't want to be rich any more.
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Tart of Darkness
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
And you with beachfront property. Stop complaining that waves from the ocean are taking all of YOUR sand. For one thing, it's our sand and for another thing it isn't becoming.
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Smitros
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
407K is far more than the net worth of most commenters.
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NexusRanger
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
As long as you are going some place where there's only gonna be other rich people (no one to make feel bad), fancy vacations should still be allowed.
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Tart of Darkness
02/03/09

@NexusRanger: What about the happy natives who have been waiting for centuries to serve you?
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Iceland Spar
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
I don't think it really counts as trying to make up for your opulant birthday party if you go and carve your name into the New York Public Library (5 seperate times).
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
Gawker is so-fista-kated. I just saw a quantserve server address fly by when I came to the front page. That there is raw-ket sance.
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noUpside
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
hey, Hamilton, when do you think you'll get tired of beating this horse? We get it, rich people suck.
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Kid Twist
02/03/09

@noUpside: He's a liberal. He'll never get tired of telling people exactly how much money they should have and what they should and should not spend it on.
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FreddieBietzsche
02/03/09

@Kid Twist: Abe Relles would have said the exact same thing. But he would've added "you mug" at the end.
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Kid Twist
02/03/09

@FreddieBietzsche: I always heart people who know where my handle comes from. You mug.
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dado
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
Also to eliminate, Magnolia cupcakes, brazilian waxing, colonics, and hot yoga.
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CaptainFantastic
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
Flying privately, jet or not, is not a luxury because of the amenities of the plane. The luxury is the time saved and frustration avoided by skipping the waits for security frisking, baggage drop-off and pick-up, and open runways. Sure, a hot towel and glass of wine are nice, but I'd rather have the cumulative 3 hours spent getting in and out of the airport.
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seyswho
02/03/09

@CaptainFantastic: Ya know, it's weird, everyone always says how long it takes at the airport, but every single time I fly it takes me all of ten minutes to get from the entrance to my gate. I would consider the "luxury" to be not having to go all the way out and then back through security again just to have a fucking cigarette.
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worth79
02/03/09

@CaptainFantastic: you know i get my upgrade notice via email, print out my boarding pass, leave 5 minutes late and still get through the elite status security lines 10 minutes before boarding. the days of spending hours in airports are long gone (with the exception of certain intl flights that still refuse to give you an assigned seat until you check-in).
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CaptainFantastic
02/03/09

@worth79: I fly on private Cessna-type planes for work a few times a year (it can be cheaper than last-minute coach!). I can park my car and be putting on the headphones quicker than I can run into 7-11 and buy a Gatorade.
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nirreskeya
02/03/09

@seyswho: Can one smoke on private jets?
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tunamelt
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
Dear people who are rich, ignore this.

Please continue to spend.

Thanks!
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Ms. Demimsy Popington
02/03/09

@tunamelt:

Most of our problems have come from people's hesitance to put their savings back into consumption - instead, people are using it to pay off debt and line their mattresses. Too much unsold inventory, halted production, etc. are all huge and are why we all 'bin losing jobs. So amen - spend away you rich fucks!
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gawkimo
02/04/09

@Ms. Demimsy Popington: Rich fucks' spending doesn't have a huge impact on the economy. These people are rich because they buy real estate and sock away money in securities and buy properties abroad. One of the richest guys I know drives a 20-year-old car and a mobile phone held together by duct tape; his net worth is millions (and I don't mean he's worth how much he can borrow, like Donald Trump, but more like real net worth, like Bill Gates).

The engine of the economy is middle class fucks buying shit they don't need at the mall.

What people are probably pissed off about is when Dick Cheney pays a 16% income tax rate, as he has done for years. His tax rate is actually lower than mine.

And I don't buy the bullshit about how 16% is a lot more money from a millionaire. It also hurts a lot less for the rich to pay a rate like that than it doesn't for a the middle class that often pays a higher rate because they don't have fancy accountants and tax shelters.

The big lie of the "fiscal conservatives" is, of course when they whine about 34% income tax rates for the richest peeps, they leave out the other part about being able to whittle that down in real terms through creative but legal accounting measures, tax shelters, deferrals, reductions in capital gains taxes, and even investing abroad.
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NotChoinski
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
And now that hatred is real, because you, hedge fund dude, just might be the one who personally killed our 407(k).

Or that 407(k) is killing you.

[gawker.com]

[consumerist.com]

[gawker.com]
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Bitter Poor
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
Well, seeing as how I'm a musician, I will never, ever have to worry about anything on that list. I win!
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SylviaPlathWasFramed
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
As a professional fundraiser, I'd like to suggest that giving to my organization is not only a good way to seem generous, it's also a tax write-off.

Not the organization I work for, though. I mean, give your cash money to my personal cause. I accept Visa, Am Ex, and steak.
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Bitter Poor
02/03/09

@SylviaPlathWasFramed: Just make sure you specify which animal from which the steak was taken. Just sayin'.
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TedSez
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
The riches can give up their extravagances and still live perfectly comfortable, safe lives in which all their needs are taken care of. The struggling middle class (or the underemployed creative class) don't have that option. And while the step down from a $5-million apartment may be a $2-million apartment, the step down from an overmortgaged cottage or a one-bedroom rental might be homelessness -- or, worse, moving back in with the parents.
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Colonel Mustard
02/03/09

@TedSez: What if your parents own a $5 million condo? Failing upwards!
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SeaBassTian
02/03/09

@TedSez:

Sad, but true. It is very hard to downsize from my studio on the outskirt of town. Forgive me if I don't sympathize with i-bankers who are on a budget.
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joefry
02/03/09

In reply to The New Rules For The Rich
Another rule: if you're going to spit on poor people, make sure they at least did something to deserve it. Let's be frugal here.
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Thatcornellguy
02/04/09

@joefry: I hear saliva prices are going back up.
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The New Rules For The Rich

Travis Barker and DJ AM Critically Injured in Plane Crash

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