No need to panic, yet, but yesterday Washington D.C. firefighters discovered a mysterious, still-unidentified substance inside a just-opened 40-year-old safe. All that's known about the substance so far is that it "exhibited a chemical reaction to water," as the Washington Post put it.
An Ohio man thought he was just ordering a $1700 safe for his 24 long rifles and dozen shotguns, but little did he know it had already been stuffed full of nearly half a million dollars worth of tightly wrapped Mexican bud.
The recent global economic collapse combined with the cravenness of the banking industry and the general cheez-brained of the American public have made it all but inevitable that eventually the general public would simply start hoarding their few remaining valuables in iron boxes built into their bedframes and/ or…
For a man who wears pretty much exactly the same thing every single day—a high-collared white shirt, blazer, dark slacks, and a fat tie—the Grand Moff of the fashion world sure needs a lot of luggage. How much?
